Well that's a you problem.

I agree with some of the comments above. You've already changed the dynamic between the both of you. I think it's safe to say unless we know what she's messaged you either it will fracture your friendship with her or she will want to get back together with you.

I'm aware of what you stated about her possibly leaving but your daughter needs both of you not one of the other.

You've made bad decisions no need for us to beat yourself up anymore than you have. You have got to work on yourself and maintain a presence in your child's life. There's no amend to be made with your wife, fact is the child is better off with both of you even if it's 50-50. So figure it out.

Just live with it. You weren't ready.