>Had I done some due diligence before beating my meat like it owes me money, I would have found several similar TIFUs within the great scrolls of Reddit

This got my dying.

I'd take it as a win you got 5 good years with someone. Mine broke up with me after a year and a half. I didn't understand at the time and thought she just needed time to work on herself. So for a whole year I held on to the hope that once she did that we'd get back together. We did not. I should've just taken it as a break up so I could move on and not torture myself for a year. She's moving in with someone else now and is doing better at least. Now I don't entertain those thoughts anymore. I implore you to let this one go and move on he's not moving back in.