Thank you! I felt sooo old when reading this post, my brain just kept whispering “I’m too old for this shit”. Exclusive FWB? Caught feelings, moving towards a serious romantic relationship but not there yet? Like what is that? How does that work in real life? I’m exhausted just thinking about it.

Edit: damn I saw the ages. They are not as much younger than me as I thought. Not sure what to do with this information

There are 3 issues that I’ll address separately:

1. His current ultimatum: Yes this sounds like he plans on using you to pay the rent, this has nothing to do with you. I wouldn’t do it. Such moves need to be planned.

2. Money: imo it’s not fair that he wants you to pay 50/50 or actually even more than that due to electricity when he earns more. It sounds also like you currently can’t afford it. Tell him, state clearly that you can’t and won’t and you two need to figure out a fair and doable split.

3. Moving in: Do you actually want to live with him? Do you like his current apartment? Think about what you need and tell him your needs. Do you need a home office? If yes, ask where you can set it up and see if the solution is acceptable. Same for space for your stuff, is there enough? It might happen that you both need to move to a different apartment in order to move in together.

And one important question for the issue at hand: has he brought up moving in seriously before the rent was raised? If not, you have your answer and also a lot more info on the relationship. Do not rush this. But if he seems receptive of the 3 issues above and ready to compromise then I’d say you can start making plans to move the relationship forward if it feels right to you- however not with his current conditions. Talk to him.

Are you okay with this? To be honest, none of the points you mentioned sounds good. Are you okay with moving away from your friends? Are you okay with doing all the chores for the rest of your life? This is nit going to change so please think about it: is this how you want the rest of your life to be like?

Let her go. The problem is that although you say you didn’t intend to cheat she has no way to verify that. Because that’s just what every caught cheater says. And even if you could proof that you didn’t meet anyone it looks like it wasn’t for a lack of trying, just a lack of opportunity.

The trust is broken. That’s irreversible. She realized that she can’t fully trust you again. There is nothing you can do. How would you even try to earn her trust back? Wasn’t that what you tried for 4 months? It didn’t work. Telling her that you were faithful since is not doing the trick because that was the baseline of her expectations. That’s why cheating is so terrible, in a monogamous relationship even if you can’t agree in anything the monogamy is the baseline of terms you agreed on. And that foundation was taken away.

Let her go. Learn and do better in the future