Did he order a soul from Amazon? Did he get the free shipping? We have 3-5 business days to fix this.

Nothing turns me on like dietary fiber and beta carotene.

This is how it always starts. Next thing you know, you're cupholesexual.

Wait! Other people have cupholes?!

The humidity is relative so it's only humid from your perspective. Also, I hate this knob.

Everyone's commenting on the bat's tig ol' bitties, but no one's mentioning the genital piercing situation.

Sometimes celebrating their birthdays is more like a pat on the back that you were able to keep them alive another year.