Now you'll think twice about eating that preservative riddled tv dinner.

Thats also why you get the shits after taking antibiotics

I... I guess I'm glad you kept it to yourself then? Is it about a demon lord kitty cat? Asking for a friend...

"pshhhh, don't act like you wouldn't feel the same." I said.

"I wouldn't." Tom said.

"Not even Zach?" I placed a hand on my hip.

"I don't hate Zach." Tom folded his arms.

"Yeah, anymore. When you were done with him even the galactic police couldn't identify the remains."

"So?'

"So if you pulverized his body so badly that it couldn't be identified I think you would've held a grudge for at minimum of 400 years If you never had that opportunity."

"I don't think so, but then again. I guess we'll never really know." Tom grinned at me.

"So are you helping me or not?"

Tom sighed. "Whats in it for me?"

"50,000 galactic credits." I said and toms eyes nearly bulged out of his head.

"50,000?! You must be out of your mind, it was a pudding cup. One pudding cup!"

"That pudding cup, my friend. WAS THE LAST PUDDING CUP MADE WITH THE OLD EARTH RECIPE! I was going to analyze it so I could remake it because the recipe was lost and I love that damn recipe! This isn't just for me, This is for the galactic empire! He stole that pudding from all of us! That creamy succulent pudding that I so loved, Jerry will go to the deepest depths of hell once I'm finished with him! He will never steal from another lunch bucket again!"

"If you weren't going to eat it why was it in your lunch bucket?"

"I wasn't going to eat all of it, I only needed a small amount for analysis. But you know what that sick son of a bitch did? HE LICKED THE CUP CLEAN! Every morsel was gone and now we have the worst reality in the multiverse. One where good pudding does not exist." I clutched the edge of the table and leaned over to catch my breath. I hated explaining these things to people, they never understood.

"You need some serious help." Tom said.

"Enough! Are you with me, or are you against me?"

Tom shrugged. "I'll humor you. Lets go."

I picked Tom's unopened beer can up off the table and shotgunned it. "Hell yeah, lets do this." I turned to see Tom wore a horrified expression.

"THAT WAS THE LAST DOUBLE SPRITZ GINGERBREAD CINNAMON MAN HAZELNUT DOUBLE DARK CHOCOLATE IPA BEER IN EXISTENCE! I WILL KILL YOU FOR THAT!"

It was a dark and stormy night when the beast finally came into this world.

Bella the Tabby cat gave birth to a solitary creature in the Smithfield's residence. The beast was undiscovered for several days while it gained strength, feeding from Bella. Finally Sammy Smithfield, a little blondhaired 6 year old girl discovered the abomination with its birther. The little girl shrieked, causing her parents and older brother to come running. They all gasped when they saw the thing and Sammy continued to cry as she stomped her feet.

"Mommy, Daddy! Bella had a kitten!" Sammy shrieked excitedly. "What the? How did that happen? Bella was spayed..." "Oooh, Can I hold him?" She asked. Daddy nodded and Sammy reached down and took the kitten, he was a jet black kitten with small white spots. "I'll name him sprinkles!" Sammy said and planted a kiss on his tiny fuzzy nose.

And so, it was on that day that the menace became known to human kind as Sprinkles, son of Bella, destroyer of worlds, eater of souls, enslaver of men and worst of all, the cutest little fuzzy boi.