Grievous_Nix
Grievous_Nix t1_ixzq82k wrote
Reply to comment by therozzo in Never take a plane with Ben Shapiro by MackSharky
Bravo!
Grievous_Nix t1_ixvyql9 wrote
Reply to Don't wake Up Until Ten by Goatmanthealien
> puts punchline as title
were you also one of those guys who yelled “Snape kills Dumbledore!” to people queueing at bookstores for that HP book?
Grievous_Nix t1_ixus35k wrote
Reply to I saw that our local zoo has an interesting attraction : A lion and a sheep living peacefully in the same cage. by RibaldPancake
A student, struggling to find a job, tries to apply to a zoo as a security guard or a cleaner. The director says: “Those positions are already staffed, but if you really need money - one of our most popular animals is the monkey, but it died yesterday, so if you’re in, we’ll provide you a monkey suit and you’ll pretend to be a monkey, no one will notice the difference! We’ll pay you more than a guard or a cleaner!”
The student, of course, agrees. The next day they give him the monkey suit and he replaces the monkey. All is going well - he’s jumping around, eating bananas, making gestures to the visitors, until suddenly, during a trick jump done wrong, he falls into an adjacent lion enclosure.
He sees a lion coming towards him and says “shit, is this really how I die?”
The lion approaches him and says “Oh ‘sup bro, what’s your major?”
Grievous_Nix t1_ixzqw4o wrote
Reply to comment by read_it_mate in What do they call ambulances in Russia? by read_it_mate
Except we say bo-bo in Russian.