Iaskquesti0ns

Iaskquesti0ns OP t1_iydlcqb wrote

Sure, I'll add some context too!

Some of my counseling clients have been very self-aware of their feelings and what works for them. They understand what they are supposed to do to feel better. But they find life is meaningless and don't see any purpose to their behaviors.

When they are in counseling, they focus on "why did this happen," and need answers. Unfortunately, in many situations in life, like a death of a friend, abuse, a series of unfortunate events, etc., we have little control. When people realize this, they bargain and negotiate - "I could've done this to prevent it" - they go into a negative thought pattern of guilt or intrusive thoughts about "what if" scenarios.

At this point, everything comes to their philosophical point of view - did they have control over the events? Did life give them this trauma for things they have done? Did they deserve it?

They try to make sense of the events and keep asking themselves questions about why the trauma happened. Some people adopt a deterministic point of view - what happened couldn't have been prevented. Some adopt a free-will point of view - they made mistakes, and now they have to learn not to make them again.

Those points of view determine how guilty they feel, how desperate they are to change their lives, and how they can move on.

  • Those troubled by thoughts of re-writing their past benefit from accepting a deterministic point of view because then they accept they have little control.
  • Those who are troubled because they don't do anything and just let things happen benefit from taking a free-will point of view, so they try to learn from their mistakes and focus on taking action to improve their life.

In both cases, the change in perspective gives them meaning; it gives them a reason to change what they are doing. They understand there are more forces at play than they can manage. They learn that, sometimes, they can make decisions all they want, but they won't matter, but they can't know this beforehand.
Changing their deterministic pov to a free-will pov (and vice versa) gives them answers depending on how willing they are to accept fate or exert control:

  1. "I can seek meaning in my future actions and how I spend my time instead of past explanations since I had no role in what happened" or
  2. "I can understand my mistakes and what I could've done better, so now I will focus on learning that instead."

Now, they find meaning in living in the moment, going on a learning journey, or spending quality time and embracing the good things when they happen. And when they have bad times, they focus on how strong they have become to not collapse during a crisis.

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Iaskquesti0ns OP t1_iycn7b2 wrote

When I counsel people (I'm a psychologist), particularly the more self-reflecting ones who have anxiety and depression, their philosophical approach to life and figuring out meaning in events take precedence over finding the right stimulation that evokes pleasure.

For some people, taking a hard deterministic POV or a hard free-will-focused POV changes how they interpret their lives. Working with them to figure out their interpretations generally shows them a path where they find meaning and offers them closure. Once they have a sufficiently acceptable answer to many forms of "but why did this happen?" their motivation moves toward something that excites them. Just my 2 cents. I hope you do find meaning.

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Iaskquesti0ns OP t1_iycapyc wrote

I believe those can be a source of eudaimonia and richness both, but there would be people for whom staying indoors reading and following a strict routine (no variety) is meaningful. Many find structure and familiarity enough.

If you look at it from a physics point of view where chaos = variety, chaos carries the least meaning.

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Iaskquesti0ns OP t1_iyaaps9 wrote

I agree with this; the basis of mindfulness itself is to bring more into your focus and accept it. Although, in a way, that is more variety relative to the prior level of focus.

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