It certainly wasn't good enough to get butts in seats.

The movie bombed, and it didn't do so because it was too challenging. Pixar made their name doing that shit. There is no way that Lightyear was a more challenging film than Up for example.

I'd prefer if he didn't try to blame it on the audience being dumb.

Except it really isn't. It's a Frankenstein of tired and worn out sci fi tropes that have all been done better before, with a forced 'Pixar message' that does nothing but detract from the A plot.

The movie was bad.

The movie was bad. Because it was.

It's a boiler plate premise that has been done to death. "What? The villain of the time travel story is an older, alternate version of the hero? Le Gasp!".

The characters were shallow.

The 'message' was shoehorned in and had basically nothing to do with anything in the main plot.

The pacing dragged.

It was a poorly put-together movie.

I mean, sloths for one. This guy lost two squad mates on this bust! Have a little compassion!

Ultra Girl had cried herself to sleep in the big leather recliner in my breakroom. I gathered the cocoa mug from her and pulled the knit throw up around her shoulders. I would need to buy more hard candies, the girl had demolished my supply.

It really was a shame the things some folks do. Sure, I would rob a bank, or hold a city hostage in a heartbeat. But I was just getting my due from a society of pathetic drones.

I would never dream of treating my own flesh and blood like this. In my books that was crime far worse than all the ones I was about to commit.

I pulled the phone off its hook in the kitchen and checked my book for the number of one of my younger associates. Someone competent, but not particularly perceptive for this one.

"Yes, Blackjack, it's Dr. Devious. I have some work for you... yes, yes I can pay extra for the short notice... I need two people killed."

I listed off the details of the job and hashed out the fees.

"Remember Blackjack, don't make a mess or leave any evidence. And I do need the bodies... oh, also, there should be the remains of a dog on the property as well. I need those... no, I don't think I will tell you what this is about."

I hung up after getting a grudging ascent.

"Nibbles, go get the cloning vats fired up, and activate one of the Devious Bots. I'm going to need to send it out to complete a deal tonight."

The calico gave me the gimmlet eye before climbing out of Ultra Girl's lap and stalking off to do his job.

I rooted around through my small closet armory.

"Oh, I know you're here somewhere you piece of junk... aha, got you!."

I pulled out the heavy and clunky memory redactor. Quite a useless thing in most cases. No matter how much memory you erased, it seems like heroes always had some loving connection waiting in the wings to jog their memories right in the nick of time.

I wasn't worried about that in this case.

"Don't worry dear, just a little off the top, and you will wake up in your happy home, with your supportive parents and loving dog."

You never know, maybe my dude can slick his eyebrows back with his tongue.