At least the name of the bill is honest this time, unlike the PATRIOT act

The last thing I want to sign up for is a goddamn customer loyalty program.

The seafood one

What about the green bus that parks at Church Street and Main

Can't have shit in Hartford

Say goodbye to MindGeek

I can't be too specific because I am not sure of your specific needs, but I would recommend a house that is on a high point as opposed to down in a low point. Much of the town has been built in former swampland, which becomes apparent in heavy rains when the basement floods.

But don't pick something where you have to drive up too steeply to get to your house, because if things ice over in the winter you'll have trouble traveling.

Beyond that, the town is all about the same in terms of personal safety, which is to say that violent crime committed by strangers is low enough that I have barely heard of any. The southeast quadrant of town has all the industrial stuff, so you might want to avoid living too close to New Park Avenue.

So pick a house with moderate elevation in the school district you prefer, and have fun.

West Hartford is an excellent school system, but property is pretty pricey here. And it's as safe as anything -- I've walked long ways home in the dark without a hint of trouble.

Why would you want to? ChatGPT essays read like a 6th-grader's book report when they barely did the reading.

Can't get a job anywhere these days

Took me a second, I thought the snow was supposed to be on the top.

I guess the driver did too.

Please do not associate us with George W. Bush.

Or you're in West Hartford.

Which is kind of a city. But don't tell them that.

The charts get fucked up halfway down the page

DID YOU KNOW that a great number of mid-20th-century high schools were designed by prison architects

Oh, I've got a million of them! My left knee aches, the overhead lighting is annoying, it's too warm today, and my hot chocolate went cold.

IKR? We're supposed to be one of the most densely populated states and yet you can stand atop Heublein Tower and see nothing but trees in either direction. If this is dense population, what is the rest of the U.S. like?

I feel like the Idaho Stop works better in out-of-the-way uncrowded places than it would in urban Connecticut

It should be stored in my mouth.

If that's what you're looking for in CT, you're spoiled for choice. I recommend West Hartford though. It's very walkable. Sidewalks from one end of town to the other.

Legal? Might be. Safe? No. Don't swim in rivers if you don't have to.

I think the whales would object to that.

I bought an all-weather outback-style hat from REI once. A Dorfman Pacific. Looks like this except without the feather thing. https://www.amazon.com/Scala-Classico-Mens-Crushable-Outback/dp/B005EP1PQO

It keeps my head shaded in the summer and warm in the winter. Pretty good fit for the northeast. Mind you, I haven't a clue if anyone thinks I look weird. They certainly never tell me.

Listen here you little shit

Yale is in Connecticut? I keep forgetting. I always think of it as this separate, far-off place, somewhere unspecified, impossible to find upon a map, unless the masters of the university send you a secret key to unlock a door hidden behind an oak tree...or something, I don't know.