I'm glad it turned around for you, it absolutely did for me too. I think it's an inherent part of being human, to have these spans in life where everything gets dark time and again. Goes to show, sometimes all you can do is just keep going, eventually the fever will break. "The only way out is through"

This reminds me of the time a handful of years ago, I (jokingly?) told my entire team at work that I needed to high priority get an ezpass for the tolls on the thruway because, I "was tired of having to stop sobbing and pull myself together everytime I came up on the toll worker on my way home." They all looked a touch horrified. Didn't even have the excuse of being drunk. Noone acted any different towards me the next day. My dark-somewhat-accurate slip kinda put in real world perspective shit was not ok, internally. I hope things start turning upwards for you, that you aren't carrying these heavy feelings around much longer. Long and happy life, friend