You seem to be missing the point. You have been spying on her. If you don't like what you found, then you need to come clean about your behavior and tell her what you saw.

Welcome to Parenthood. You don't get to check out just because it's difficult. You don't get to leave the parenting and responsibilities to your wife simply because you are tired of trying. Step in and step up. Read parenting blogs/books, ask experts for advice, see a therapist, but don't stop trying.

If your child wants to run around and play, put baby gates up and let him run in a safe space.

You have to plug in to your family.

Find an NA meeting and go ASAP. Get treatment. If you are serious about getting clean, there are resources to help you. You have to want it for yourself. You have to want to get clean and sober and healthy more than you want your girlfriend. Do this for yourself and for your future. Ask her to get help too. Being apart while you get sober may be a good idea for both of you.

People sometimes exaggerate to their friends to make themselves seem more interesting. Who knows why she said that?

You on the other hand, seem to be the one with the biggest issue. You seem to lack self awareness, are inappropriately invasive of her space, and almost seem controlling.

She's allowed to talk to her friends. That doesn't give you the right to accuse her of cheating. You are behaving irrationally and unreasonably.

So, she told a lie about the two of you moving. Big deal. Instead of accusing her of cheating, own your behavior and tell her that you've been spying on her.

It sounds like she is into playing games and likes to be chased. If you are into that, have at it and start chasing her. If you want someone who is more mature and can articulate what they want without jerking you around, move on to someone else.

What were you right about? Because from where I'm sitting you sound paranoid and delusional. You haven't said anything that remotely sounds inappropriate or like cheating. All she's guilty of is being excited to have a good friend and venting to her.

She's messy for trying it, but he should have shut it down. Good luck.

Is it possible they're just friends, and she's venting? Why are you snooping?

He could have said, "I'm in a relationship." If he entertained her, he knew what he was doing. It would cause me to lose trust in him. It would cause me to question what else he does that I do not know about.

He's "anxious," so he reaches out to another woman to flirt? Sounds shady and manipulative. He's responsible for his behavior, and it's time for you to hold him accountable. He's 30 years old. He knows what is right and wrong.

I'd tell him to get his shit together and stop being a selfish prick.

I'd also tell him to stop playing with his girlfriend's mental, emotional, and physical health. She deserves to know, so she can go get tested for whatever STDs he is exposing her to.

Your boyfriend is not the issue. You are. That girl hasn't done anything to justify these thoughts and your boyfriend certainly hasn't done anything to warrant being told that you do not trust him.

You need to continue therapy and probably need to be single until you learn how to manage your emotions and your control issues. You can not control people.

>sometimes I’m worried that he’ll actually start liking them and leave me for something he likes better (which I think is fine but I would just want him to tell me asap and not hide it and feel guilty or something and keep dating me because he feels bad for me).

This part right here is disordered thinking. If a person actually ever does cheat on you, you need to have enough self worth to walk away. Saying that your main concern is that they would keep dating you, because they feel bad for you is messed up. Find your self respect and love yourself enough to know how to handle yourself and be secure within yourself.

Your worth does not come from a man or a relationship.

You're an adult. You do not need your parent's permission to date or move out. It's time to take ownership of your life and start living it.

Leave. Stop the dramatics, just leave and be done with him. Also, make an appointment to get checked out for STDs/STIs.

Poor kids. A bunch of selfish, manipulative adults and no one considering the ramifications of their actions.

No, this isn't fate. This is destructive behavior. Your husband and child deserve better.

You've already crossed the threshold and found the evidence. Was it a slightly crummy thing to do? Yes. However, let her know that you have the info, and it's game over for her.

A little piece of advice: don't let this experience sour you or put a bitter taste in your mouth about women and relationships. Not everyone is going to cheat on you. You've learned a valuable lesson here. You learned to trust your instincts. Take that lesson and the other positive things you've learned from this relationship and move on. Best of luck.

Tell him it's time for the stuff to go. If he can't find the time to get it sold, tell him you will drop it off at the nearest donation center, but it needs to be gone within the week. You have given him 7 months to move it. It's time to setup your living room.