SkyezOpen
SkyezOpen t1_j9n9jnl wrote
Reply to comment by Dothwile in [WP] It's a beautiful wedding in a D&D world; the couple at the altar, exchanging their vows, the spell of Ceremony being cast to marry the lovers. As the priests asks for any objections to the wedding spell, a single word is yelled loud and clear. "COUNTERSPELL!" by BurnedBadger
Loved the jokes, especially their first mission being killing rats in a dungeon. I'm not a writer so I can't help you much there, but this bit is grammatically awkward.
>At that point their resident tiefling, Breisis, was a scrappy rogue, her village destroyed she had taken up adventuring to get revenge.
You also love commas a lot. I definitely identify with that. I had to make a conscious effort to break up sentences while writing school papers when I realized I would write entire half page paragraphs composed of 2 complete sentences. Consider breaking longer sentences up or varying punctuation to improve the flow.
SkyezOpen t1_j4vc3q3 wrote
Reply to comment by GideonGriebenow in "Make something small at first. Just get something published!" they said... "Hold my juice..." said I. No, I did not spend *all* my savings (I've got kids to support!), but after 2 years of nerdy-hobby mode, I've been working full-time on World Turtles for over a year now! by GideonGriebenow
Be sure to include options to reduce or eliminate hunger rate of the turtle or manipulate other factors like resource gain or research rate. I'm a big fan of survival crafting games, but the sanity feature in Green Hell was simply too much on top of an already complex system. After turning it off I felt like I was able to learn. Sometimes doing a super relaxed playthrough to learn the game is a big help.
SkyezOpen t1_j1rvutc wrote
Reply to comment by InnocentTailor in 'BLEACH: Thousand-Year Blood War' Part 2 Premieres July 2023 by MarvelsGrantMan136
The last arc was some pretty shit writing to be honest.
SkyezOpen t1_izkcef7 wrote
Reply to comment by masterpierround in Officials grant California girl's request to keep a unicorn if She locates one by AmethystOrator
>More cynically, Madeline might have had a bit of help from her parents in crafting the letter.
Could've been a lesson in reaching out to government officials. If Madeline has a question or concern in the future, she already knows to contact someone.
SkyezOpen t1_ir9z8pv wrote
Reply to comment by Atomic_ad in Danse Macabre (by me) by dreckqin
Yup. Love em. They're unique, but not original.
SkyezOpen t1_jawsow8 wrote
Reply to comment by DivHaydeez in PsBattle: A cat with a helmet getting its claws trimmed. by ihaveabaguetteknife
I appreciate the effort, but that is only 1 of the 5 murder points of a cat, and you are interacting directly with the other 4.