friends are usually a good barometer for how well suited your partner is for you. If they are rubbed the wrong way, perhaps that's something to consider. Ultimately it's up to you. Is this guy worth ending your friendship? Are your friends just straight up shitty?

From your description it seems like you like this guy, they may not be convinced because of your previous toxic relationship. But it sounds like they were going out of their way to make him feel uncomfortable and put him on edge. Alcohol was involved. However, the way your boyfriend spoke to you is not acceptable.

honestly for late 20s individuals you and your friends sound YOUNG. Maybe, find better friends? Find a partner that won't call you names in front of your friends (proving their point)? Your friends suck for embarrassing you and behaving that way in front of this person you said you liked, however, your boyfriend sucks because he then made a scene and lashed out at YOU.

If you want my honest opinion, find new friends. I don't know about the boyfriend. Maybe that won't work either. I wouldn't be able to shake the fear of him misdirecting anger at me and if that's how he speaks to you in anger in public what will he be like when he's angry in private?

Before I read the comment where you described everything i was thinking this was going to be like a situation where your friends maybe picked up on something you may have not clocked because of rose coloured glasses. HOWEVER, it sounds like everyone sucks here. it's ironic they called him a child when they literally were like petulant children trying to goad him into an argument to upset him and he took the bait and made more of a scene. They ended up harming you in the process as well.

Maybe you're better off taking some time, going to therapy, and finding new hobbies that will introduce you to new people.

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eta

maybe its worth making a list of qualities you want to see in your friends and in a future partner, and reflect on why you haven't cut out these people before?

What kind of cancer was he diagnosed with?

Brain tumours sometimes cause personality changes, irritability and mood swings. This was my first thought when reading this.

I am so sorry, babies are incredibly stressful, and the post-partum period is a difficult adjustment. Right now his behaviour is not fair to you or your needs as a partner and a mother. I cannot imagine how exhausted you are mentally and physically. If this is out of character for him, it makes me believe that maybe there's another reason behind it, like perhaps health concerns.

Could you bring up to him that this is something you feel he should get checked out for the sake of your relationship and your family's dynamic? If it's not a tumor would he be open to counselling?

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ETA

I looked through your post history, and saw what the diagnosis of your husband is. I would follow up with an oncologist about this and if the change in behavior is related to his diagnosis.

If it's not it is troubling to me that this side of him is coming out now that you've had a baby. It is stressful but by no means grounds to be abusive or volatile towards your partner and baby. Especially when it seems like you are going above and beyond to make sure you make this as easy for him as possible given the circumstances.

Especially when you are EBF even the most egalitarian couples have an imbalance in roles and responsibilities for babies because you are required to be present or at least pump ahead of time to be able to feed your child. But this is extreme.