I feel your pain. I went through something very similar a year ago (around the exact same time and with a young child).
We are all different and of course your road is going to be different, but the following are my own take aways.
Get to therapy (if you aren't already).
We are all humans and we all make mistakes. She is probably being an ass because she is freaking the fuck out on the inside. (Let me be clear, there are consequences for her choices. You also have every right to feel what you are feeling, but take a step back from the feelings and try to use some logic).
2.a. I know she made a mistake and it hurts, but don't bust her balls about it (DO hold her accountable though). As I tell my child, anger begets anger begets anger (adult speak- circle jerk of anger).
There is a thing called Collaborative divorce. Probably best you google and read. Instead of me butchering the explanation. Lol. It is an option if you don't want to be at each other's throats in court. This requires some trust though. Just an option.
Talk to a lawyer right away.
Watch your joint accounts (can never be to careful).
Find an outlet for your feelings.
Stay strong, brave and compassionate (this shit will test you as a human being).
You and your kid are most important (as hard as this might be, that means the "relationship" with your kid's mother is kind of important too - I'm talking about some form of respect).
I do hope something here helps.
Sorry again to hear you are going through this and my thoughts go out to you. Best of luck and remember to stay human!
TobyTheWeasel t1_j1ov8jz wrote
Reply to comment by late_apexes in Checking in - how was your day? by MaynardWaltrip
I feel your pain. I went through something very similar a year ago (around the exact same time and with a young child).
We are all different and of course your road is going to be different, but the following are my own take aways.
Get to therapy (if you aren't already).
We are all humans and we all make mistakes. She is probably being an ass because she is freaking the fuck out on the inside. (Let me be clear, there are consequences for her choices. You also have every right to feel what you are feeling, but take a step back from the feelings and try to use some logic). 2.a. I know she made a mistake and it hurts, but don't bust her balls about it (DO hold her accountable though). As I tell my child, anger begets anger begets anger (adult speak- circle jerk of anger).
There is a thing called Collaborative divorce. Probably best you google and read. Instead of me butchering the explanation. Lol. It is an option if you don't want to be at each other's throats in court. This requires some trust though. Just an option.
Talk to a lawyer right away.
Watch your joint accounts (can never be to careful).
Find an outlet for your feelings.
Stay strong, brave and compassionate (this shit will test you as a human being).
You and your kid are most important (as hard as this might be, that means the "relationship" with your kid's mother is kind of important too - I'm talking about some form of respect).
I do hope something here helps.
Sorry again to hear you are going through this and my thoughts go out to you. Best of luck and remember to stay human!