I'm also not really sure why you think you've lied to her by not telling her. Did she ask you? Then you haven't lied. Is there any expectation that this is something you shouldn't do? It's not like you cheated, but for some, discussing your finances with us could be a deal breakers. If it's not though, I wouldn't even bother bringing it up.

Not to mention he acknowledges right at the top about postpartum. They both need some help but neither seems willing to work together to get themselves help.

He hit you right? You should have pressed charges and went to his boss about it. I don't go out clubbing too much, but assault charges can't look too good to a security company.

The problem was that he wasn't thinking.

Seriously, putting something like that near your balls takes some serious non-thinking.

"Yup, and I'd do it again to any little snot that annoys me in the future." then give her the dirty stare you've ever given anyone.

Edit: And don't forget to pull your mobile phone out and wave it around every time you see her for the next 6 months.

Obviously don't actually hurt her, but you've gotta fight fire with fire here.

I mean it's a brand name... the same way Cisco comes from San Fran.

The problem is not the brand name, but the idiot on the service desk that didn't explain that Palo Alto is the brand name of their networking equipment and that wifi point they were connected to is in fact in the office.

What parents should have done:

"Hey son, can you please turn off your porn. You're not in trouble but we still need to discuss this later, but for now, turn it off and get some sleep."

Regroup and have the conversation about the content the next day. Also about porn consumption in general.

And yet, it happens all the time. Sugar babies are a thing now where women 18-24 pursue men that are much older. 30, 40, 50+.

Ok then, why is someone that's 16 allowed to have sex with someone 18 but not 19 (at least where I am)? I understand there's a line that needs to be drawn in the sand, and that's a legal requirement, but people are talking about a moral one when they use words like "gross".

I stand by what I said. Mentally 17 year olds and 18 year olds aren't far apart, so either it's life stages that are the problem (which is valid, since they're clearly in different parts of their lives... but so are 50 year olds with 30 year olds) or it's just the numerical distance of the large gap.

That's what I don't get. If he was 50 and she was 18. Sure no problem. 17 and 26 and it's a massive problem.

26 and 17 isn't as far apart as people pretend. 17 is basically 18 and at the bottom end of the immature young adult that's still learning the world... which lasts for most people until 24/25. He should be in a different phase of his life but some people are slightly older when they normally come out of that....

Except he's divorced and has a kid. He's well and truly past that point. That makes it a bit gross. It'd still be a bit weird even if she was 21 and not properly matured.

Yeah well, I won't be moving back. My sister lived here before me and mum moved over after. It's 12 years since I moved here and I've bought a house here.

She'd be better off blocking him. Then she doesn't need to make excuses. Just move on for real.

My friends were talking to my first ex for agessss. Like ages after I moved interstate (like 1700kms away). They may well still talk to her... but I wouldn't know. I don't really talk to them anymore and you can probably work out why.

I like the idea of not telling her straight up it's a story about their interaction and see if she works it out.

Maybe it's because I don't have a therapist and never been to one... but I'd think meeting a professional of that type outside of your professional business seems weird. Like seeing a GP, dentist or escort on the street.

Ask him? Do it privately (and in person) and just be sincere. There's a reasonable chance that he'll be like "it's not a secret."

Except they're going to have to watch all the competitors ones too so not sure it's as good as you might think.

>He got so mad he started getting abusive.

I'm curious how bad it actually was. Did he scream and yell or did he start calling her names or did he start breaking things... or hitting her?

Screaming and yelling isn't necessarily abusive. Calling her names? Well, it's bad but depends how far. Physical, even breaking things, is abuse, 100%.

I can fully understand someone getting very angry about their partner sitting around all day and not helping out while they're stressing about trying to feed and house you both while working 2 jobs. Can't say I'm on OP's side necessarily. Sounds like she should be trying harder to get a job.