I think the issue here is the fact that the authoritarian attitude and harsh response to the child is going to cause issues if they’re expecting their child to do things outside of the proper developmental level. No doubt executive functioning issues add to the mothers being overstimulated (I have ADHD and executive function is a real struggle at times) but the fact is there’s a solid chance the executive function issues are something the kids will experience as well. They expect the children to follow every direction without hesitation but struggle with executive function themselves - something they’d have trouble doing.

What’s interesting is the fact that they are perceiving negative intent even when it’s absolutely not there. I grew up with a harsh mother. When a parent is unable to self regulate and don’t actively work on it,
this causes a lot of issues for the kids. It’s a shame.

Then go ahead and remove them and stop worrying so much about why they wouldn’t remove you. Seems pretty ridiculous to sit around deciding how other people should run their own accounts. Just do what you want with your own and move on.