In the Second World War, there were many stories about people having to eat their pets in Germany because there was no more meat.

Yes sadly it just couldn’t be done safely, unfortunately. The road to hell is often paved with good intentions.

Are you broken?

Yes - you said that before, and I responded.

Yes, to the tune of 0.1% of our federal budget, which is less money than our last PM spent of tax payers cash to fly to Hawaii to meet with the head of his evangelical Christian church, and then diverted into said church as charitable donations.

We know what democratic socialism means in Australia and we fucking like it.

I know, it’s so hard to understand what to do.

It would be nice if there were more parenting classes that could simply be sent to your phone if you subscribed. I also know in Australia there used to be a parent line where you could call at any time and say that you couldn’t handle your child screaming or you were feeling depressed, and they’d give you strategies to calm down or send help out to you if you needed it. I also know that Utah had a ‘baby return slot’ in the side of some hospitals where you could essentially surrender your baby by putting it into the slot, ringing the bell and leaving, no questions asked.

Some of these sorts of things can help parents that just can’t handle it. And that’s ok if they can’t, I’d rather their child be safe and them not having to be a parent anymore if they don’t want to be.

But agreed, there really isn’t a way to ensure that a parenting license doesn’t become eugenics or christofacism, though I wish it wasn’t so.

If we actually made this commensurate with more supports for families, it could work.

I’m watching the announcement made last night by our Australian PM about the increase in parental leave from 3-6 months, paid by the government. That is on top of the four weeks paid sick leave that women can accrue to help them initially prepare for and/or recover from the initial phases of childbirth, and the four weeks paid annual leave that they can also take.

Given that a spouse can also take four weeks of personal or carers leave (for holidays, the birth or anything), this means that a woman and her partner can take four weeks off before the birth (birth parent), four weeks annual leave or sick/carers leave after the birth (spouse supporting finances during that time), then they can choose to mix it up how they want from there.

Additionally, many workplaces offer additional paid or unpaid maternity leave and parent leave, most Australian low and middle income earners get a child supplement payment fortnightly, and if the birth parent suffers serious medical injuries due to the birth and needs more time off, their compulsory fortnightly retirement account pays a stipend after three months, and the employer is obligated to keep their job open for up to two years from the claim. They can backfill it during this time, but they must retain the birth parents right to return after recovery.

Let’s see if this increases birth rates. It might not, but I’m curious.

I genuinely believe that you should have to apply for a parenting license, a farming license, and a pet ownership license, and their should be training courses for each.

I’m totally ok with the parenting preparation classes to be free and a little bit generic, because I don’t want there to be income and racial biases to obtaining a license. But I want that license to come with renewals, perhaps an annual early years short course and then some spaced out ones until annual teenage ones, but seriously there are so many fucked up parents out there, it’s incredible.

And suffice to say - though I haven’t done too bad of a job so far with my kids (three are grown up, happy relationships, good jobs and we are all close, one still at home who even talks to me when not attached to protein and an electronic device), I would have loved to have had some parenting classes at times, or just someone to ask questions. Every parent has at least some challenging situations with their children, from not knowing if they’re teething or how to handle teenage backchatting.

Thank you. I have never been so grateful to see a neckbeard in a bikini.