There's an old saying "softly softly catchee monkey", it means you should creep up and be gentle when trying to achieve a goal, so by bashing people over the head instead of taking them gently by the arm you're working against yourself to achieve your outcome. The other saying is "catch more flies with honey than vinegar".

Drawing pins on a white section of the wall or ceiling.

When it's time to go just rub a bit of toothpaste into the tiny hole to make it disappear.

Yes I remember that too, but water has the added benefit of buggering off into a raincloud, so the results are net positive.

If it's a chimp they can sort of shut it down so it can't continue.

Women who gave birth to chimp babies more often didn't like it so they stopped/died in childbirth. The ones that were ok with chimps were also ok with normal babies so the survived

Bought a Miele on a Reddit recommandation, it's solid after 9 years, no problems. I've killed many vacuums (4 in one year once) but not this one yet.

I sucked up a sports sock the other day and it was ok.

I'd have preferred bagless to reduce expenses but I just empty the bag and reuse a few times and it's still fine.

What about horribly maimed and living in continuous pain for the rest of your life?

That's how people often die. It's nice that people care about pets and stuff but he could very easily have been swept away and she'd be one down on the life partner score.