puttinitinmutton

puttinitinmutton t1_j1ydsow wrote

And the oak replied 'you always fucking do this. you know what actually I'm glad. I'm glad we're both going to die. I've been living next to you for a hundred fucking years and whenever something of note happens you roll out the tree puns. You remember that time those people chained themselves to us and we didn't get chopped down? And you came out with, 'looks like they've offered us an olive branch'? That was the moment. Since the fucking 90s every time there's been a thunderstorm or we've heard revving motors I've been willing the universe to take one of us out. Every time I smelled cigarette smoke on the breeze I've prayed for a forest fire. Honestly I'm fucking sycamore of it.'

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