That is beautiful, really...

Amish furniture is incredible quality, truly BIFL stuff

From my admittedly limited knowledge, that does not look like a Swartzentruber Amish man.

Makes the funerals very romantic, but the child rearing is a bleak affair.

Buy it for death

Sending my Amish arch nemesis one of these rockers now to let him know I've bought his coffin. Excellent tip ty

Can we get those caskets as rockers?

In this case it’s built for death

I once went to a local version of like goodwill/thrift store and there was a sort of scratched up dresser. I like to sometimes treasure hunt but have no real eye for anything. It looked sturdy so I took a peak and saw the inside was branded with an Amish company from PA. The wood was solid. It was already marked sold, but I think the price was like $85. It was probably worth many fold over that.

To... haunt after you die, so it would rock by itself?

My in-laws only buy Amish furniture. At first I was shocked by the prices but I totally get it now. We only have an Amish coffee and side table so far but there is much more in our future. It’s beautifully made. We have 2 little kids and they both still look amazing considering what they’ve been through.

That's why the guarantee only covers life.

While both are beautiful, doesn't anyone else have an issue with buying such a beautiful piece of craftsmanship (and valuable wood) and then either burying it or burning it up?

I wanted a really great TV tray and not the cheap stuff at big box stores either because I use mine a lot. I ended up ordering one from an Amish company in Ohio that cost more to ship it to me in CA than the price of the tray itself. Totally worth it IMHO

If you’re in the LA area you should check out The Barn!

100%. The one tip funeral homes don't want you to know; Use the coffin just for the funeral not the burial. Then pass down the rocker AND coffin to your children. BIFE Put me in a burlap sack and save the $10k.

Just store the coffin in the attic with a realistic plastic skeleton inside for the time between funerals?

my dad builds furniture as a hobby. He's built us some really amazing stuff. But hes not interested in even trying to sell the stuff because he'd have to try to sell it for so much not many people would want to pay. My coffee table he built would probably cost $3000.

Makes a great trunk for you patio couch cushions...

Um. Pause. I'm supposed to, what, store a massive casket somewhere while I'm still alive? Hope the fabric doesn't get old, dirty, dusty, and covered in insects? Who has the storage space for that?

This isn't an efficient plan at all

Use it as decoration for Halloween and as a blanket/toy chest during the rest of the year.

Bring it out for Halloween and rent it out for other funerals too. I mean, this is funny...but why the fuck DON'T we do this? The buried expensive casket is a moronic idea.

It's not as bad as you think. Basically the way farm kids were raised in the 1800's. They work really hard, but they eat really well and grow up with an incredible work ethic. Honestly wish I had some of that (should be coding right now instead I'm on reddit).

"Why is the children's playroom decorated like a funeral parlor?"

"Ah you see, it's a dual use room, we store the toys in the coffin when we aren't mourning in there!"

What if they come back?

Now I'm interested if there are any Amish zombie movies...

Realistically, the funeral home ought to have a few of each of the fancy coffins they offer and all the customers share/reuse them, wash the liners between funerals, but I think that overly engages people's squeamishness about corpses.

Yes.

Everyone I know knows that I want to be put in a cardboard box and/or just a large hole. I have zero interest in my meatbag when I'm done with it.

But I think maybe a high-quality coffin isn't so much for the person going into it as much as it's for the people still alive who want to feel good about sending them off.

You pay for the casket ahead of time, they just don't build it until you need it. But you get the chair right now so you feel like you're getting something for your $$$.

You can probably ask for the casket immediately but I don't think it would go well as I'm pretty sure the Amish can't abide a vampire living in their midst.

I have to ask, where do people buy Amish furniture/ goods? I live in the US, and presumably the Amish wouldn't be using the internet to sell things.

I thought the rocker was for when my spirit decides to come back and haunt the house.

>You can probably ask for the casket immediately

Hey man, I just wanna get a good night's sleep

"This rocking chair actually matches my coffin in the garage! Wanna see it?"

"Uhhhhh"

There are a lot of third party sellers like some high end furniture stores I have Daniels Amish furniture brand in my house . There is a pretty big mark up if you buy from stores that carry it. You can buy straight from the Amish community for a huge discount a lot of the time the furniture is unfinished but you save 70% compared to the furniture store . For example I bought my parents a queen four post bed frame made from solid red oak for $330 . I had it finished for another $300 from a guy I found online and I bought the metal side runner rails for $150. So I spent $780 in total and a frame similar goes for over $2k .

"The dead can't hear you, boy. But they do like to rock"

Just go into Amish communities if you're close by, you'll find great stuff at great prices.

Yearly we go full our entire suv with pumpkins for about 40 bucks, which includes touring the Amish farm and a horse and buggy ride into the pumpkin patch.

I also get it if you're not nearby, you'll need to find a 3rd party.

I live in Ohio but grew up way deep south, so just going into Amish country was wild for me the first time.

Now we do it at least once a year.

Attack of the Zamish is something I'd watch.

They do what to children now…?

>Now I'm interested if there are any Amish zombie movies...

Given the Amish's stance on electricity, I doubt it.

And that's why you're bound to lose your job to Amish coders. Tsk. Tsk.

r/BIFD

They do! Lots of modern workarounds these days. Depends on the specific church/pastor within the religion I think. Like, if someone else charges the computer they can type on it. I don't have a rec, sorry! But I bet you can find an actual Amish person.

“Throw me in the trash.” - Frank Reynolds

I don't care , they WILL respect my decision to he put in a cardboard box !

Do you bring the chair in as like your claim ticket when you need the casket?

I want one of those classic pine boxes like you see in westerns and old horror movies. Chuck me in the ground and let me decompose, shouldn't cost more than $100.

> We have 2 little kids and they both still look amazing considering what they’ve been through.

Hey congrats

</rumspringa>

My Grammy always said this. Put me in a cardboard box, and send me on my way.

It’s a little funny that she wanted to be cremated but my papa wanted a wake and funeral for her first, so he bought a (beautiful) basically covered cardboard (maybe like particle board in there, too?) casket that she would then be burned in.

I know she was laughing.

Quality furniture is a steal once it's used. I snagged a really nice mahogany bedroom set for $300, and a $3000 leather couch for $500. They're worth well more than that for how long they'll last and how nice they are.

Incredibly disrespectful.

You think the Amish would allow any of that nonsense to occur?

"Farmer Smith passed away from a animal bite two days ago. There's been rumors of him walking around the fields."

"Looks like another community hunt. Let's bring the boys that are close to the coming of age ceremony this time."

That's a great idea. You can parade me in a nice coffin, and then have a release hatch on the bottom where my body falls down once it's level with the ground.

My parents bought my wife and me a dresser/nightstand set from the Amish for our wedding gift -- truly remarkable craftsmanship, but it doesn't come cheap. Nothing good ever does though I suppose.

Buy It For Life

Buy It For Afterlife

Definitely seen some groups using modern networking tech as buisness only.

Directly from Amish communities. There are a lot of them in Ohio, PA and western NY.

Some Amish also partner with English folk and the English person sells the goods online while the Amish person sells them in store or only does the crafting and sells based on commission.

They also (in the US) often stop education after middle school and there's rampant sexual abuse in the communities

Their “pastors” are called Bishops for what it’s worth. Grew up Mennonite in Amish country

Thanks! I work hard on not trashing the kids 😅

Kinda the same reason why diamonds are ridiculously priced even though they're actually very common in nature.

The funeral business is one that I believe is particularly predatory -- they prey on the emotional response of people at their most vulnerable state to upsell shit they can't afford, all under the guise that it's "showing your respect to the dead." Whether you feed your dearly departed dad to a pack of pigs or take out a loan to bury him in a fancy cemetery with a $30k mahogany casket, he is none the wiser.

Amish intimidation tactic

There is absolutely no evidence to back that up other than some random reporter with anonymous sources.

Their actual rates are far lower than the general population.

Okay but what about Amish zombie comic books

I'm in!

Buy if for the after life.

I can't get behind fancy coffins. Such a waste, particularly when made from nice wood.

No-frills wood caskets remain a popular option for observant Jews, who apparently cannot be buried in anything with metal components. My understanding is the Leonard Cohen was buried in a simple pine box.

you’d be surprised

r/Amish

That's the last thing I need!

The coffin doubles as a crib.

something something unexpected office

Gives new meaning to the phrase “off your rocker”.

It’s a reference to the TV show The Office. Dwight talks about his family’s tradition of being married while standing in your own grave plots.

>There is absolutely no evidence to back that up other than some random reporter with anonymous sources.

Can confirm. Grew up with Amish, and, as a whole, they are the most kind, decent, wholesome people you'll ever meet.

Did I meet a few asshole Amish? You betcha. In that regard, they're just like any other sector of society. So, I'm sure there's isolated incidents of sexual abuse, just like any other sector of society. But it definitely isn't rampant, because the vast majority of them are the type to best the shit out of anyone engaging in such behavior.

Can also confirm that, in fact, nearly all our their children don't attend school after the 8th grade. But the Amish kids my age were smarter in 8th than the majority of people I graduated with. So, nothing lost there...

And so you opt for a plain pine box.

Rocker.?

I'm in central PA. Amish people may not use the internet, but Amish businesses absolutely do. They can also hire non-amish folks to do things like build websites.

Not big on their puppy mills. They can fuck off.

They don't actually eat that healthy overall. They have plenty of problems of obesity and don't steer clear of refined sugar.

I dated an ex Amish guy for a few years. The stories I heard from him and what he endured….It really is that bad. To put it in perspective if I had to choose between Sc*entology or the Amish..id pick the former.

Love this idea

>Not big on their puppy mills. They can fuck off.

Raising dogs isn't strictly an Amish endeavor.

Obviously, people wanna buy dogs, or why else would anyone, not just the Amish, raise them?....maybe the target of your ire should be the people shelling out money for dogs, not the people raising the dogs to fulfill a demand?

Add a bar stool and im in.

Ya dead, ya dead.

They have auctions up in Shipshewana that'd make your head spin. To them it's just old furniture. People load up trailers and drag it back to different states and sell it for 10x what they paid.

They have auctions up in Shipshewana that'd make your head spin. To them it's just old furniture. People load up trailers and drag it back to different states and sell it for 10x what they paid.

That's actually splendid. We will almost all be rocking-chair-years-old someday.

Very big difference between puppy mills and responsible breeders.

there are outlets; and they work with english suppliers to distribute goods. I have lived in both NY and PA close to their communities and there is a wide degree of Amish-ness if you will. Different sects (this post referenced the Swartzentrubers specifically) have different degrees of strictness. The Amish I just worked with to log my property were of a belief that they could use their mobile phones for work purposes, and frequently did. But would leave outside the home, etc etc

ive met plenty of amish men with a few tires stacked around their waist haha

Same in Ky. My dad died in 2012 and we got him an amish made barnwood casket and it came with a rocker. Then the same for my sister in 2020 and my mom this year... I got a lotta rockers.

Just worked with amish on my property. Does limited interactions reveal deep underlying issues? no... but they sure seemed happy. really enjoyed talking to them and their perspectives

probably an english storefront owner. amish sell to him, he sells to the community.

I want to be cremated, but that is a fucking beautiful casket.

He didn't help in the last barn raising.

Must be a zombie, let's hunt him.

Nice

When they say matching… should I purchase grandma a casket that matches my living room?

Caskets are a waste of the resources used to produce the casket and the materials that are in the human body that resides inside of the casket. Rocking chairs are cool though.

My luck the chair would start rocking out of nowhere and I'd have a mental breakdown

I'll take the rocket you can put me in pine.

I kinda want my coffin made out of an old tree that’s already fallen. Shit I’ll be dead anyway so hollow it out and stuff me in it

This gives me an idea 🤔

You mean those people that sell furniture on the internet, and have electric bicycles? Not all Amish are as you describe them.

my grandmother has the amish community create all of the furniture in her summer home, as well as build it. amazing folk

As a Pennsylvanian, many Amish businesses do use parts of the internet. Since it’s for work they are allowed to according to some of the churches (at least here in Lancaster). Some use the same “loophole” to own phones and some cars.

His name? Dwiide Schruude

As a weirdo I would totally 100% purchase a casket to use as like a coffee table or something for awhile if it had a flat top. I’d also purchase this if I knew someone would pass soon and it wouldn’t take up space long.

Some communities are even starting to use cell phones. There are specific apps that they can use to limit the functionality to only the features that their community wants to access.

Are you talking about the mud auctions?

What did you do to the kids.

Actually met some near my home town in a tourist area. They showed up to vacation with the kids. They were playing arcade games and eating junk food just like the rest of us. I always wondered if they went to the theme park rides.

I've always felt like a coffin is the one thing that shouldn't be built to last.

I've signed the papers to have my meat bag donated to my state's research lab. All my family has to do is call them to come pick it up.

Iowa,Illinois, Indiana, KY. To add a few

The notorious Amish mafia

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Whoa my family had almost that exact chair. Is it a common Amish design or did my grandparents buy a coffin chair? 😂

Is that a thread now?

I have a rocking horse built by the amish from at least the 80s. My grandma gave it to baby me back then. His mane and tail has since turned to dust and i replaced his leather ears because my younger sister finally ripped them off after months of her abuse in the late 90s but everything else is exactly how it was then and my 5 year old son loves it now.

Question: what can one do with an entire SUV full of pumpkins?

Apparently not

Keep this Amish TIL stuff coming!

There’s a whole tourism industry built around the Amish here in Lancaster, PA. Tons of stores to buy Amish furniture, quilts, foods, etc.

As a northern Indiana Hoosier, I can't describe in detail enough how much I hate Shipshe and the cretins that crawl all over the place to get there and to Middlebury.

I loathe everything about the Amish and that God forsaken flea market.

Buy craftsman furniture, but never buy from them. Don't believe me? Move here; live around and work with them. You'll see.

So the Amish are getting ripped off big time

182,000 Amish online.

11 actively on the sub now.

Plot twist someone buys it to sleep in and then they get propped in the rocker when they're dead

Yeah but they can't check here or eBay to confirm pricing.

Shady ass middlemen as always.

^ Arnold Swartzentruber

Just about anything one sets one's mind on

brb, sending rocker via DHL to the Bolivians

“GetOUUUT (of my chair)!”

They should hire consultants to do the “devil’s work” of keeping them from getting ass-raped.

I need a new pumpkin supplier. I can give you $60 per truckload.

“Come with me if you want to rock”

You only THOUGHT you were joking.

The Amish shun plastic. You need a real skeleton.

Southwest Missouri has a few Amish communities too

Define "responsible breeding".

Where are you located?

I live in Amish country and if you move to a property adjoining the Amish, I’ve heard that if they don’t like you they’ll subtly make your life miserable.

I haven't been back there in a few years but I know the flea market has turned to mostly dollar store junk but the auctions were always cool. As someone that grew up in a tourist town (Nashville) I can understand the aggravation.

Pennsylvania.

Ya'll have no idea what you're talking about.

Amish people know exactly what's going on, and are happy to rip you off. The fact is, "amish made" as a whole is a big scam, with few exceptions. They know yuppie tourists will pay anything for "amish made" goods. They can use internet and just about any other technology if it's for the purpose of business, otherwise they'd never stand a chance in todays world.

The truss plant I worked in had an Amish guy doing the marketing, and the CAD/Engineering.

Oh, and they also treat animals like absolute shit (again, few exceptions). Animal abuse, inbreeding, overbreeding, etc. Drive through any Amish area around spring time and you'll see a "free puppies, unknown mixed breed" sign on at least half the houses you go by.

Source: grew up in Lancaster PA, worked for multiple Amish companies, 5 of my 6 closest neighbors were Amish.

If you are able to carry a chair at the same time you need a casket, you technically qualify as a zombie.

my family said in Ephrata they have a places out in their neck of the woods you can find stuff...I will talk to my cousin here after breakfast and ask her more...

don't laugh. I did once lose my job to a Mennonite developer when I first started!

He drove a sports car and was way cooler than me. That was the day I realized I didn't know anything about anything.

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The warehouse in the background 👁👁

So you buy a casket for your deceased loved one and the funeral home throws in a rocking chair? Lol!!! I guess it makes sense. It gives the relative a comfortable place to grieve and no one can say that the family has given themselves over to "excess and wastefulness".

Appreciate this. Love how people just believe anything they read on here without verifying

No, the customers who buy from downstream distributors instead of from the Amish directly are the ones getting ripped off. The Amish folks themselves are still selling their furniture at their own prices either way.

Wut?

You can't tell me ripped zombies on horseback chasing people with a scythe wouldn't be damned entertaining, assuming a Tucker and Dale vs evil vibe

Does the opposite also hold true? Imagine going next door for a cup of sugar and getting a couple loaves of banana bread…

Excellent. Grew up atheist in Amish country.

Actually it does! If they like you you’re IN. They really take care of eachother and people they like.

Getting some heavy Dwight Schrute energy here..

Well, only they can pull off Men-o-nighters XD

Another thing people don't understand is there is no such thing as "The Amish".

They are not a monolithic group.

The churches that drive their lives have broken up and re-formed into various combinations and iterations a great many times.

So each church and each community in that church has different views.

I have seen some either Mennonites or Amish at Busch Gardens Colonial Williamsburg.

I am located in New York.

Lol that’s where my thought came from

You can also buy caskets at costco, great returns for when the zombie apocalypse happens

I refuse to buy from Amish they treat the earth absolutely terrible .

Clip clop clip clop clip clop BANG!

An Amish drive by

The Amish make the best furniture, without a doubt. Almost all of my tables, my captains bed, and some outdoor stuff was made by them. All solid wood, none of that particle board crap that the chain places sell. It costs a bit more, but worth every penny.

I live about an hour and a half from Lancaster PA, and there are several places there that sell very high quality stuff.