Submitted by ExplanationSea6719 t3_10jc1wy in Connecticut
I’m non binary and dark skinned looking to move to a blue state. I’ve seen beautiful houses in Glastonbury/south Glastonbury but concerned with posts I’ve seen from folks who shared racist stories from this area. Maybe they were old and things have changed but I want to feel safe going for a jog in my neighborhood without fear or making others fearful due to my existence.
I like this. Our sign should be “Welcome to Connecticut Mind Your Own Business”
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I got downvoted on another CT post for saying that we aren’t incredibly friendly. Another person was considering a move here and stated that they had small kids and they were hoping they could find other families to befriend etc. I stated that most people here keep to themselves, and social circles are small, so finding friendships might be a challenge. I’m 40 and have friends, but honestly haven’t made a new friend in years. Most of my friends I’ve known almost 20 years now.
I also said that I just vacationed in the south, and everyone there was so friendly and chatty. Small talk everywhere, literally everyone was social. I said I couldn’t wait to get back to CT where I could be ignored again.
I got like six downvotes lol
> I also said that I just vacationed in the south, and everyone there was so friendly and chatty. Small talk everywhere, literally everyone was social. I said I couldn’t wait to get back to CT where I could be ignored again.
People in New England are Kind, not Nice.
Nice is what you get in the South and Midwest/West. They'll be all smiles and chatty to your face, but will get the claws out the moment you turn your back.
In the Northeast, Kind is a crotchety old bastard calling you every swear word in the book (and probably making up a few new ones along the way) as they're help you change a flat tire on the side of the highway in a torrential downpour.
This is so true I feel it in my soul.
"You stupid shithead...now gimmie the jack"
Probably got downvotes for using personal anecdotes to paint an entire state with such an unfairly broad brush. We have become fast friends with like 5-6 different families on our street since we moved here in 2017. Any issues with meeting people is on you, all it takes is a knock on the door and a smile.
No worries. I actually prefer to keep to myself.
I can live with that. Thanks for your input.
Agree you won’t be bothered but Glastonbury isn’t known for ethnic diversity as far as I know. It is a nice town but had a big drug problem years ago (maybe still) - not a violent one but basically affecting the high schools and stuff. Lotta rich kids doing drugs kind of thing.
Rocky Hill now has a sizable Indian population and it seems Cromwell is getting more ethnically diverse. Not sure about Wethersfield. All of these towns are in the same central Ct area.
You won’t be bothered much anywhere but just saying if you’re more comfortable in diverse communities…
Can confirm. Moved here in 2020 and still haven’t even met the people who live across the street from me. The people behind us I met when they chased their dog into my property and the next door neighbor( the only one I know) is nice.
A lot just depends on context and yourself. I’ve lived in the same community for 13 years and barely knew anyone but during the pandemic when I was wfh for 2 years I became friends with a group of neighbor women.
I’d be surprised if you had any issues to be honest. CT is weird in a lot of ways. In other parts of the country people are more “welcoming” and “friendly” and “neighborly” at first glance, but in the end show themselves to be prejudiced assholes.
Here, people are generally colder as a rule. Neighbors keep to themselves for the most part as opposed to being really involved with each other. But people are tolerant and kind for the most part. There are outliers, sure, but I would not be worried about your safety in a town like Glastonbury because of who you are.
Appreciate your response. Agreed on neighborly at first glance.
I haven’t spoken to my neighbor in months. But when a big branch fell in my yard he was over with his saw to cut it up and take it away. As others say Connecticut is a funny place but it’s not full of hate. I suppose it’s easy to confuse “mind your business” with being cold.
Yeah this is fair. Cold might be a bad description. People will hold doors and say hi. I wave to my neighbors. They wave to me. But everyone minds their own business pretty much.
I feel like we will hold the door because it's polite, but please don't say a word past thanks for doing it.
I have heard this take before and I think it is accurate. People from other parts of the country have kind of a fake politeness to them. In New England we're more prickly and introverted but we're not bullshitters and if you need help we'll help. Just different strokes.
This is so accurate.
Speaking as a LGBT person in the area, I think very few people will care. There are few parts of the country more LGBT tolerant/accepting than Connecticut.
Connecticut is pretty friendly and accepting overall, everyone is welcome but like any state we have a few assholes.
Thank you!
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I care.
Don't engage with the troll; the costs are too high.
As a new transplant to CT, I have found that people are quietly welcoming. No Welcome Wagon celebrating your arrival, but kindness abounds.
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yea, weird.
Lovely.
Lollls. You said the same thing. Are you a self admitted troll?? Or a closeted one?? Inquiring minds want to know??
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Thats better than feeling strong enough about it to be malicious. Thanks!
Yeah that’s what they’re getting at - idk what red state you’re coming from but up here, unless you’re in one of the smallest communities (Glastonbury is not), you will receive neither welcome nor shunning, for better or worse. Connecticuters (as a whole, I know there are always exceptions) like many New Englanders and New Yorkers mind their own business and go about their days quietly and privately. So don’t expect a “welcome” lol but yeah we’re a blue state so you really don’t have to worry about being targeted for your identity unless you’re in a really rural area, and even then it’d be more idiots quietly tutting/shunning than actually giving you problems
Florida for reference. Getting redder by the day.
As compared to FLORIDA?! You will be the happiest non-binary dark-skinned person on the planet.
The worst that will happen to you in S Glastonbury is some old white person will look at you for an extra second or two. And before you know it, you’ll be sharing stories about how shitty Florida is and it will be fine.
Hahahhahaha - love it!
Yeah seriously, get the hell up here out of that shithole, lol
This is completely true 😂😂😂
I am originally from CT, moved to Florida in 2015 and just moved back. Initially we loved it, but as time went on the rose colored glasses came off and we started to see how Florida is really just a place to vacation, not live. The people seem friendly but it's all a facade. Over the past few years it got more crowded, rude and hyper partisan. Every other house has some vulgar political flag flying and a lot of the people are fake or crazy. Also, the infrastructure is horrible and I don't see them taking any steps to make it better.
We're so glad to be back. People might not be as initially friendly and welcoming but they're real and will help you when you need it.
My in-laws used to have a condo in West Palm Beach, right on the water (multi-generational ownership). Going down there, got to see the "nice" section of town as well as the "COPS" sections.
Happy in New England.
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We have a bridge. It’s not that hard.
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It’s not a pain. Like at all. Want to take a train? Hartford is a short trip down Rte 2. Or Rte 3 to 91. Or the bus. Sorry, but your facts aren’t factual.
They are a west of the River person clearly. As am I but no shade on you east of the river people.
We should probably tell OP about that whole east/west thing though. 😂😂😂
They clearly have never been to Glastonbury. And yes, definitely should let OP know about the east/west thing. Lol.
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Yup. You take the train from Hartford to New Haven and connect with Metro North. Easy peasy.
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More of a pain than what? Living in New Haven blocks away from the train station? Then sure, you’d be right. Otherwise not sure what your point is.
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Glastonbury is literally just east of the river with easy access to the train system you clearly don’t know enough about. Not sure what is so baffling about that.
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If you say so. I’ve always found it is easy to get to and from Glastonbury. Easy access to the highway and pretty centrally located.
I think it is for vampires…something about crossing water lol 😂
That's not true - there are big blue signs up all over the state welcoming people to Connecticut!
You are correct sir.
I would say we look like we can't be bothered and try to mind our own business, but if needed would give you the shirt off our back in a time of need.
Just this. No Welcome Wagon, but we'll help you clear out your driveway with our snowblower or change your flat tire for you. We may not be the friendliest bunch, but we are, as a whole, pretty damned helpful.
Where are you coming from? The northeast in general is more welcoming than most areas around the country. The Northeast mentality is usually "You do you, I don't have enough time to have an opinion about your life.... just dont be a dick"
I live near that area, you'll be fine. Like stated before, many in CT mind their own business and let others live their lives. Also most of us are perfectly fine with minorities as well as the LGBTQA.
Just keep your yard maintained and the sidewalk clear snow, that’s what people care about here.
Fair enough. I expect the same in return from my neighbors.
Non binary, dark skin light skin straight gay whatever, I don’t think you’ll have any problems anywhere in Connecticut. If you do, it’s because someone else is ignorant and it doesn’t have a reflection on the overall mind set of the people here. Good luck.
It’s like anywhere, but generally speaking nobody cares.
Not to mention, unless you’re running around with a giant sign denoting your orientation, I don’t think anyone would even know.
I moved to CT 3 ish years ago and honestly nobody cares about you, you get left alone unless you start things with other people. Expensive too.
We're most likely to ignore you, and curse you out when driving.
😂
Just stay out of the quiet corner and you are fine
I’m in Glastonbury and I can say that I haven’t experienced anything of concern. People tend to mind their own business.
Everything above and I will add- if you involve yourself, people will welcome you. When I moved here, I got involved in my local Democratic town committee and after a bit was invited out with the larger group. I know my neighbors the same way everyone else does in CT, but when I had a pet sitter over the holidays and I couldn’t reach her, my neighbor quickly responded to my text and was able to confirm that she had seen her with my dogs. I’ve been happy here.
Have you looked in other towns? I only ask because Glastonbury is EXPENSIVE.
I am a biracial woman living in Connecticut with a white husband and I see the way my husband is treated compared to how I’m treated…. The comparison is stark.
I’ve had college professors who have quoted the bell curve. I’ve had older male friends, express racist ideology against Asian people which shocked me. I had an older white male friend gleefully declare that he was a racist and an antisemite. I’ve heard the N-word in work environments. I’ve had coworkers make endless racist jokes.
I’m not sure what state you’re coming from but Connecticut is not a bastion of social progressive behavior, but it is very fiscally progressive, which is great.
Nutmeggers generally respond to this by saying that it’s worse in the south, which is probably true I’ve never lived down south. Essentially what they’re trying to say is shut up it could be a lot worse but I think it could be a lot better and that’s gonna take work and the acknowledgment that there is a problem here.
I’m so sorry you’ve experienced this. I will continue to express how those comments are offensive wether they like it or not.
I’ll add to this, CT is full of white trash and hillbillies. The LGBTQ community isn’t embraced in many places. I’m not saying you’ll be met with hostility (mostly) but CT isn’t the most woke state by a long shot. The right wing folks are already up in arms about everything and they’re getting nuttier and more vocal. I honestly think the southwest part of the state and along the shoreline is far more progressive. There’s actually LGBTQ culture there.
The biggest issue you'd have is probably gonna be the roads quite frankly, people stay to themselves here. But the roads in alot of towns and cities are atrocious
Stupid bigoted roads with their lines and such.
Definitely some undesirables in mostly red areas of the state, but move to or near any of the major metro areas and you will almost certainly be fine. Down here in Fairfield county there are a ton of events supporting the LGBTQ community and it’s like more welcoming here than almost any area of the state except for maybe the Yale area of New Haven.
what racist stories about glastonbury?
I did a search on Reddit for Glastonbury and read through threads. Don’t have them handy but a quick search should lead you there if interested.
Absolutely, come as you are my fellow human. I like to think we are friendly and welcoming to everyone. That’s my opinion anyway.
you would be welcome in West Hartford.
Depending on where your from
You’ll be perfectly fine buddy. Tbh just mind your business and people will mind theirs. No one’s gonna be out to hurt you.
This point got brought up somewhere so I need to tell you OP
For some reason amongst native nutmeggers (Ct is the nutmeg state) we have a bit of an east / west rivalry or feud going on.
East/west refers to if you live east of the Connecticut River or west of it. We sometimes argue about what side is better. West side sort of looks down on east side because west side is the Fairfield county side and Fairfield county is a colony of Manhattan basically. It’s where the rich people live. At least that’s the only reason I can think of, but it’s a thing here - east vs west
Glastonbury is a little bit like some weird Fairfield county satellite that popped up east of the river.
I live in FC in one of the old conservative towns-absolutely no one would care or say anything to you. People are very tolerant even though there are old fashioned views for some
Glastonbury is a big town by CT standards 35k people.
Doubt you will see much NB or POC issues, they do happen while our cities are blue or towns are fairly red but not so much in the MAGA but more small government stay out of my bedroom/wallet sort.
Some people comming up dont get that while friendly CT is not the down south over the top welcoming while talking behind your back. Were more know your neighbors faces/cars and enough for a quick wave or head nod. Keep your yard tidy and nobody cares much past that.
City's are a whole different matter but little reason to go to those sorts of areas.
NB might get you some old people stares depending on how you present, dont dress thug and nobody will care. The FOX news crowd is trained to be scared of the POC in a hoodie not a polo and ll bean jacket.
I live in the area you are talking about. We love it here. People are extremely polite. They do tend to keep to themselves as others have mentioned. The most you will deal with is probably seeing yard signs with candidates you don’t like. One in particular but I won’t name names. The good thing is, you will also see a lot of signs supporting blue viewpoints.
As with anywhere, you may run into the odd individual once in a while who goes out of their way to make their beliefs known to you in person. However, it is very rare and usually benign. I am saying this as a cis white male though so your experience may be different.
If I can make a recommendation on where to live, we love Glastonbury and South Glastonbury. However, if you don’t mind going slightly out of that area, the Portland/South Glastonbury line has the best of both worlds. Quiet area but close to Glastonbury, Hartford and Middletown. Can pretty much get to all major highways from there in 10 minutes or so. Also, the prices tend to be a bit cheaper and I think taxes are still slightly lower.
Wonderful- appreciate the suggestions.
I'm a cis het white male that lived in Glastonbury for more than 20 years. (I'd still be there if our landlord hadn't done not great things. My opinion is to avoid A*M*Y* R*I*O, whether renting or buying.)
I would think you'll be fine. If you want a nice welcome, there's a great local bookstore on Main Street, River Bend Books. They celebrate pride, use their employees' preferred pronouns on social media, and all of that good stuff :) They also host book clubs which are fun and a nice way to meet people.
Yes you will be welcomed.
Member of the lgbt community here who moved to CT from the Midwest in August. It’s really not been an issue at all - but I’d imagine there are areas that are more or less friendly.
I think you'd be just fine, for all the reasons listed by my peers. Are there racist/homophobic people in CT? Absolutely. But I'd say probably fewer than where you're coming from, and they're also probably quieter. People tend to just mind their own business here. If I might make a recommendation though, check out Middletown. It's got a fun/funky Main Street and is very LGBTQI friendly. They host a big Pride parade every June!
Thank you for the recommendation!
I teach in Glastonbury and it is actually quite a diverse town. S. Glastonbury a little less so.
I think the racist part of the state is further out from Hartford than Glastonbury. Windham and New London county can be a bit more conservative with some bastions of klan activity. Otherwise people are extremely tolerant.
Look into West Hartford.
You probably won't be "welcomed", but it has nothing to do with who you are as a person. People in CT are usually pretty stand-off-ish, and mostly keep to ourselves. I moved into my current house about 6 years ago, and I've literally never talked to my neighbors. The only reason I know my neighbor's name is Bill is because his mail often gets delivered to my house.
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Very true. It’s easier said than done when you’re surrounded by confederate flags, trump stickers and “bring lynching back” car stickers when you leave your house.
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Yeah that area is pretty racist my advise is stay clear
I'm from various parts of NYC and NY state and Seattle, and I live outside New Haven now. I don't really think there is such a thing as a blue state. It's kind of arbitrary. Usually the densest parts of the state are voting for Dems so the state taken as a whole looks "blue" but lots of individual districts voted Republican. It's all about the town and the neighborhood. Having only just moved to CT I don't know how most of the state is. Fwiw my neighbors have said hi to me and introduced themselves. People started saying hi to us when we were still looking at the place with the realtor. So you never know. Good luck with the move!
Jawaka99 t1_j5jhi5k wrote
Honestly you likely won't be welcomed, acknowledged or bothered. Most people in Connecticut just mind their own business and ignore each other as they go on with their days.