It makes me think of this quote too:

“Man surprises me most about humanity. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the results being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”—Daila Lama

We can get so frantic about living that we forget to live.

As an older dude who thought the same thing many moons ago, Billy Joel is correct.

Relax, enjoy every stage of life. Your twenties is about enjoying the moment, gaining experience and setting up your future.

No need to win the race at this stage, just make sure you do t lose it this early.

So slow down, enjoy the moment, relish each experience and set yourself on the path to where you want. (It's the trip which is important, not the destination as some would say).

Comparison is the thief of joy. People on social media always will be doing better than you, whether you are running, or not.

Set your own definition of succes. Not that of others.

Sitting in my flat in Vienna I assure you Vienna defenetly doesn't wait for me, mate. But it sure as hell gives me a good hangover from time to time.

NEVER compare yourself to others because way too many of us either overestimate the success and happiness of others or underestimate it. Either way provides false perspective.

Life is meant to be lived and we should strive to be happy and good. Many “successful” people are miserable and many we might deem to be failures are very happy in life. Treat yourself kindly. Forgive yourself your shortcomings and strive to learn from mistakes. And do not fall into the stupid generation stereotyping. Everyone, or even most, in any given generation are not alike. Within ever generation there’s wide diversity.

I’m an old guy and continually dream up new challenges, new things to learn, new plans. And I follow up with most. Put down the screens and go live life.

I will say that burnout is a serious danger. I was immune to burnout, I was a bright shining star that could do anything and everything, I tore it up and achieved more than I could ever have expected. And then it happened, I started to struggle, but I could “push through this” because I’d done it before. But it ground me down, I didn’t see it until it was too late. One day I was sat on my bed crying for the smallest of things, my brain could not figure out the simplest of things and I was terrified. It’s two years later and I still not the person I was before. Maybe that’s a good thing.

Now I take my time, I am not (and never was) immune.

Look after yourselves, hopefully the journey is long.

There is honestly something to be said for both, and neither is right or wrong depending on what you really want and what your goals are...

I definitely haven't been of the "slow down and enjoy it" people. Most of my 20s when I wasn't in school I was working anywhere between 70 and 100 hour weeks, making every penny that I could, every connection that I could, and getting a side gig going on top of my time in the office. Definitely wouldn't say it was enjoyable, didn't get to see my wife nearly as much as I'd have liked, was perpetually sleep deprived and constantly had stress levels that were through the roof... I'm in my early 30s now though, and keeping up an insane pace in my 20s made it where now my 30s are significantly more enjoyable than they would have been otherwise. Have a nice house, lake house, get to take good vacations, have kids on the way and know we'll be able to take care if them, send them to good schools, etc. Plus my job situation in my 20s being brutal set it up to be great in my 30s onward, and all the driving myself crazy to get a side gig going then has it where now it's running super smoothly and I can make a good bit of money from it while just coasting...

So yeah, there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking things slow and at your own speed, but some goals and things you want can require that you don't. And sacrificing in the present can definitely be worth the future that it allows.

When I was younger, I had a parent that would go on about “serendipity” and how much the good things in life can sometimes be totally unplanned. As a young person, I hated the thought, I hated the idea of not being able to plan my life. You want to work hard and you want to know that your hard work will pay off, right?

But, the older I get, the more I see that hard work is not something that has a linear relationship with happiness, or even success. Yes, you don’t want to underprepare. But a lot of job interviews, or sales contracts, or work/business opportunities, come out of a combination of preparedness as well as totally out of the blue. It’s not enough to be the hardest working person with the most education/credentials/skilled hours under your belt. Sometimes it can come down to building a connection with someone you used to know in college. Sometimes you get a job because the job interviewer is really impressed with your stories about how you backpacked around Europe by yourself. Sometimes you win a business contract in part because you used to play golf with the CFO’s brother and he tells everyone that you’re awesome and smart.

It’s good to want to learn and build skills, but as I’ve gotten older I’ve come to realize there’s a limit to the success you can have with that approach. Being a balanced human being comes with its own share of opportunities not just to relax, but to meet interesting people you didn’t expect and to discover opportunities you didn’t think about previously.

And you can spend your whole life preparing for the wrong thing. People can end up planning for one type of life only to have a totally different life come their way, after the birth of a child, death of a spouse, unexpected marriage, unexpected opportunity…life can be unexpectedly wonderful or terrible.

If you want to work hard, work hard. But remember to be mindful of how much is out of your control…as the saying goes, we must have the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

I made it to Vienna 4 years ago. The entire trip was amazing, except the fact that I had a lump I knew in my heart was cancer, so the entire trip I was inwardly congratulating myself on making it to Europe before my demise. The song crossed my mind many times on that vacation, and I still wonder if I had have lived with less stress and took more time for myself if I would have been able to prevent getting sick. No one knows, but I can tell you that now I live a far more balanced life. I want to make a success of myself, but not at my own expense. I take time for the things I like to do rather than working late, and I cut all the toxic people out of my life. I do regret not doing it sooner. Life is so much better without all the pressure I was putting on myself.

it always makes me laugh when 21 yr olds freak out about not being some titan of industry with a marriage, a mortgage, and a family.

most people aren't even really adults until around 35. My observation anyway.

>I’m overwhelmed with the feeling to not spend any time leisurely. I feel guilty if I don’t spend most of my time building towards what I want.

But what you want is the ability to spend time leisurely. It's why we do everything. If you're already there, even for a bit, not taking the opportunity goes against your own ideal!

There's a balance... It's the child with a marshmallow experiment. Will the child eat the marshmallow now, or wait and get two marshmallows later? Eventually you have to eat some amount of marshmallows, or the experiment ends.

Taken to it's extreme, you can work all your life and retire with millions of dollars, and find that you squandered your youth and now have an old and broken body that can't enjoy the money.

Even if you had a billion dollars, you'd always be working toward something. Even if it was just spending time managing your employees, finances or charities. So there's always work. You have to blend the leisure, your actual goal, into the work time, the time that's spent getting to be able to enjoy leisure.

We all have a limited time here. Don't overspend it on the work side of the equation.

Sorry if it has been commented already but I'm a big enough Billy fan to know the story behind the song "Vienna." He was (oddly enough) sitting at a café in Vienna when he noticed an old woman sweeping outside of a storefront, smiling and seeming as happy as can be. He must have gotten to thinking about the struggles she had in life before getting to this point, and evidently it all worked out alright for her. So the message of the song is that everything will eventually be okay.

It is one of his very best songs so I'm glad you have put so much thought into it. :D

My grandma once told me “your life begins at about 35. Everything up til then is just practice.”

As an Austrian I was really confused about the title

This is amazing. You captured my recent feelings in this post, and seeing all the replies are so uplifting so thank you all for being honest and vulnerable enough to share. I’ve been leaning heavily on my religious beliefs to overcome these feelings, (my personal way of feeling better, not recommending this to anyone or looking to be criticized over it), but it’s refreshing and calming to know others feel the exact feelings I am, and feel rushed to “catch up” with others around us.

Movement does not equal progress. DOING doesn't always get anything done. Inversely, doing nothing also gets you nowhere. If you have big dreams, no one will fault you for busting your ass to make them a reality. However, work efficiency, be thoughtful and conscious of what you are doing. Is it important? Is it going to progress you toward your goals? If not, and you feel compelled to so something, make sure it's to your benefit. Even going to mountains for the weekend and not being "productive" can be productive none the less because you took the time to enjoy your life aloge the ride.

As someone who recently turned 30, I can deeply relate to feeling “behind” my friends who are homeowners and having babies, etc. I think the only thing I regret not taking care of in my 20s is my health. I know I still have time to turn a new leaf in my 30s, but it is exponentially more difficult than it was when I was 21. I stay beyond grateful I found my life partner in college and we are still together and married. If I have to work a little longer to become financially stable and become a mom, that’s okay!

I can be your boyfriend

OK, think Values instead of Goals.

Once you've achieved a goal, there's a sense of accomplishment, but followed by a sense of been there, done that. How you you top climbing Mt. Everest? You could find another goal, then another and another, but what do you do when you've run out?

"I'm gonna clean this house" is a goal. But that house will just get dirty again, so why bother? "I like a clean house" is a value. It motivates you to clean when you have a chance without worrying about it getting dirty again.

"I'm gonna travel to London" is a goal. But in your single-minded determination to get there, what else have you done? What are you going to do when you get there?

"I like to travel" is a value. Get out, explore look around, learn ways to appreciate what you're doing, learn about what you like about visiting new places, whether it be the art, the history or the food. One day, you'll get to London with the ability to appreciate where you are and have a far richer experience because of it.

"I'm gonna get my degree" is a goal too. How about instead "I really value education and want to expand and share my knowledge of X topic"?

Goals are fine , but don't make your entire existence into the pursuit of one goal after another. Turn your goals into values and life will feel more fulfilling and won't feel as rushed.

Why the fuck did the moderators remove this?

Just don’t think about it so hard

It means nothing to me ahhh...

The quickest way to depression is living life to try to make YOURSELF happy.

while i completely agree with everything said above, i will still continue on the path of trying to do as much as i can in 10

my 20s are where anyone has their most energy, so if i work hard enough, i can enjoy the rest of my decades in peace

I'm 25, so I'm right there with you. I feel that desire to be all I can be immediately, especially when I compare myself to my friends. Many of them have high paying jobs, live on their own, some are engaged already. I have to wait for those things because I have to go to school again (minimum 3 years more). 2 years on top of that to get the licensure for the job I want. And then Lord knows how long before I can get the private practice of my dreams. I might not be 40 until I have the same stability that my friends have now. But I'll get to my dream. My mom said one day "the time will pass either way, you might as well make those years how you want them." Vienna waits for us. They say youth is wasted on the young, I think they're right. We forget to stop and enjoy ourselves sometimes.

If life is always changing, then youre living right. But if you stop going with the changes thats when you fail.

TL DR, start your midlife crisis in your 20s YOLO

So weird, I was listening to this song when I read this post.

I'm in my 40s, and at this point I feel more that life is just meant to be lived. Achievements are part of that, but they aren't all of it. I try to take a little from each day. Moments of connection, moments of meaning. I do the things I need to do because they make my life better and the lives of the people I love better. Better can be a tricky concept, always just out of reach, but there is also joy in making life more comfortable, fun, pleasant.

Achievements are fun. Making the world a bit better is satisfying. But your life is for you, and it waits. It will wait for whatever amount of time you are blessed with.

Vienna Sausages? They dont wait for noone you snoose you loose too yummy to left un opened

Child of vision by supertramp

I feel like you would dig this song op and the album

It’s important to remember that social media is an idealised portrayal of one’s self. No one is posting their struggles and day to day shortcomings online, they’re posting a romantic depiction of their own lives

The curious thing about slowing down and living in the present is that time expands and surprisingly you will find that you are Vienna. Smiles from The English Sisters ❤️❤️

Blah! So many self hatred posts. You can't learn to drive in a parked car. You know you want it - so just start your journey and hate you less step by step every day. Not an overnight solution. Trust you can achieve it if you wanna be your ally you gonna spend lots of time with together

Similar in message, also conveniently in song lyrics:

I'm in a hurry to get things done

Oh I'm.. rushin' rushin' 'til life's no fun

All I really gotta do is live and die

But I'm in a hurry, and don't know why

Hurry slowly

Yeah. You are young now. When you get old you don't have the energy nor do people really want to live the same type of life. So it's important to burn those years well.

I'll be 37 this year and up until I was about 25 I punished myself about how I should be much "farther along in life" than what I was. I thought by then I should of been married, had kids, found a desk job- basically what was expected of a woman (also because this is what my mum and sister did) I'm so glad I didn't go the expected route. Looking back I've done some great things. Went to Africa solo when I was 18 to work (unpaid)on a safari lodge, studied game design, volunteer reptile zookeeper for 5 years, worked for too long in hospitality, married at 30, had my second child 6 months ago and I'm planning to start my own small business in about 2 years. I mean, financially I'm poor af but I am very rich in experiences and things are still happening. It took me too long to realise that there's no rush and that I'll still be experiencing new things for decades to come.

Most people showing off on social media are living a lie it’s okay bro I feel the same way too

One of the things I really enjoyed about my 20's (and my 30's too) was the ability to just grind out jobs. The jobs weren't especially memorable, but I remember fondly the stamina, and exercise thereof.

You smoked smn before you wrote that header huh lmao regardless you’re right, it’s exactly how i am and ive been stuck in that feeling for years, and i try to unravel it and make it make sense all day every day while i run around doing random menial shit, and when i say that i literally mean it ill spend entire days going to different parts of my room, sitting, panicking and over exaggerating and spiraling and generally digging my preverbial hole or as i call it “thinking” and absolutely nothing else. Instead of thinking i need to do this that and the other thing bit i gotta get a good start tomorrow and then staying up til 5 in the morning high as shit eating anything my eyeballs can sense, i could get up at 1 tomorrow instead of 4-5, go work out, cook some good food, not eat all of it, and get some work done. And i wanna tell myself thats what ill do too.

This means nothing to me.

Vienna waits for you, but only the good die young.

I’m 32 and only recently felt like I have a direction for life. I feel more secure in myself and feel like I have a little foundation to build on. Now is the time where I start building on that foundation in the general direction that makes sense to me right now. In my 20s, even my late 20s, I felt completely lost and a mess. No idea what I wanted out of life and felt like I’d made zero progress to getting anywhere.

Looking back, I wish I hadn’t stressed so much over it at the time. We’re all just plodding along trying to find something that clicks for a moment. Just keep doing things you feel passionate about and spending time with people who love you, and something will click eventually.

In my sixth decade here.

I regret many things about my twenties: not having as much stupid fun as my peers, not taking more risks asking out the opposite sex, not feeling free to fuck-up and experiment (within reason). But I do not regret not trying to achieve "everything" by 30. I mean, it never occurred to me try. Why? Because two little gems of wisdom from my Dad stuck with me: (1) none of what you care about in your 20s will matter in a hundred years, and (2) if you rigidly plan your life in your 20s, it will have changed by your 40s, and if you regroup in your 40s and tell yourself "now I'm going to buckle down and do what I need to do", everything you prepared for will be blown away by change in your 60s. In other words, don't try to find the "right" path. Because it doesn't exist. Instead, seek the flexibility of mind that will allow you to land on any path and say, "Hey, this looks interesting ... let's see where it goes!"

(Obviously, such flexibility still requires a certain level of discipline to achieve: don't get anyone pregnant, don't become pregnant, don't go to jail, and take care of your body.)

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Is Billy Joel a "great thinker"?

I think a lot of it is that we as a society only portray beautiful young people as being happy and successful. It doesn't matter if you travel the world if in all the pictures you're old and fat. Our stories of someone going on an adventure to achieve their dreams all portray young people. Then after that is just happily ever after. We don't often see films about some 43 year old fulfilling a lifelong dream to climb a huge mountain, even though that happens all the time. Your dreams will be just as great if you accomplish them when you have wrinkles. And you will be just as happy getting married now as you will be 3 years from now when you've lost 50 lbs.

Challenge your internalized notions of what a happy successful person looks like. Most of them aren't 25.

In my late 20’s, I listened to this song on my regular playlist for several months while I was working this shitty, abusive job 50+ hours a week, in which I was being sexually harassed and accused of having an affair with my married co-worker (my harasser, incidentally). This was supposed to be my dream job and I wanted more than anything for it to work out.

I ended up quitting the job, moving cross-country to accept another job in a place where I knew no one, and met my now-husband.

Not saying it was all thanks to Vienna, but it’s what I think about whenever I hear/see a reference to this song now.

The answer is a really really harsh reality:

Life is a race against yourself because many many people don't make it out of their 20s. Either literally by death or by dying while alive.

I'm 30 so I feel like I'm just exiting this phase. I've known 2 people who died unexpectedly through no fault of their own. One was 19 the other 23.

I know countless others who will never get the chance at a normal/typical/ full life after their 20s. Just a few examples

• 23ish playing soccer, friend jumped too high and fell on another player, wrecked his back so severely he is basically paralyzed.
• 31 chose his job over his potential spouse, last few years he's turned into an alcoholic and shell of a person. Could turn it around, but I doubt It.
• 22 one of the smartest girls I knew, drove drunk with friends and died. 3 people dead.

And those are just the ones that immediately sprang to mind. So I think the reality is this, Vienna waits for you if you don't fuck it up or die by accident. And lots of people do one or the other.

Gravity is always pushing down on us. It's time to push back

if you don't enjoy it then does it really matter what you accomplish or what the timetable is?

and if you're passionate about something, sure there's the drive to get it done as soon as possible, but you also want to get it done right.

we don't all start at the same place, so comparing where you're at to where someone else is at doesn't make a lot of sense.

Be in this world but not of. Follow ur passion and wealth and happiness will follow

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I don't feel rushed to accomplish much, but there are some things that you can't live your whole life working towards. As a woman in her mid-30s who kind of wants a kid, that is all I am focused on. Career, home, travel, I have years. My own kid? Not much time left, especially since I want it with a partner. I want a family. That's ticking away painfully quickly.

I was very lucky, I achieved a lifelong dream at around 32 and the there was this void. I was well away from my peers and didn’t really have much objectives to complete.

On the other hand, there’s a lot of fake on Facebook... like your friend that toured 15 European countries in 3 weeks?? What did he accomplish? An European tour of airports and railways?

There’s something I usually refer to which is the essay/song “wear sunscreen”:

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Perhaps jealousy is a strong word, but it derives from the same place of what you’re feeling.

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and then one day you find 10 years have gone behind you no one told you when to run you missed the starting gun

Vienna not only does not wait for you it actively escapes you as you age. If you don’t make every attempt and your entire ambition to reach it you’ll never get there.

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There are many nuances to this. Everyone literally has the rest of their lives to live - the joke is on the duration. Selling your present for some comfort on your future is not just advisable, it is expected; it also adds as "payments" for the period of your life where you did not work and still had a measurable attached cost and investment. We pay that back on our children (at least usually).

Having that thought is very healthy but only up to the point where it doesn't prevent you from doing better. It doesn't matter how much money you make as humans can always find new ways to top up comfort and we get used to good things terrifyingly quickly. It's safe, then, to put some thought, and some effort, towards your future. I believe that song is good in the sense that it creates thoughtful provocation but nobody has a way to see the future. WW3 could create a nuclear winter and it would be the end of life as we know it. Have you lived a good life thus far? Is your path aimed towards one? What can you do to steer it? Those are the questions that shouldn't haunt you but shouldn't go unanswered either. Life is short for those who find a way to enjoy it; best things being free is always said by those who don't know the issue relies on access. To healthcare, education, a safe environment. Appreciating the small things can only come after you have a full belly, a safe and warm bed and the peace of mind to enjoy it. Those things have prices, too; not being willing to pay them brings consequences. Like previously stated, many nuances to consider

Vienna is but a sausage, a sausage in a metaphysical can

I didn’t even realize I was doing it, but I spent my twenties fostering a love of freedom of time, and laying the foundation to have as much of that as I could while still leading a normal life. By the time I was ready to settle down back in the tiny town I grew up in, I knew I must always have as much freedom as possible. I’ve been self employed since my late twenties and even though I could make double the money doing what I do for a large company, my family lives comfortably and I’d never trade the freedom I have. Having a wife and children is the best part of life, and I want to make sure I soak up as much of it as I can.

Reminds me of Andy in The US Office: "I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them."

As someone who is 51 and doing her very best to live every moment fully to ‘make up’ for past mistakes - I LOVE your post and the quote.

I didn’t take the time to enjoy things or do what I wanted when I was younger because I was trying to live up to the expectations of others. After some major life changes (newly diagnosed life altering health conditions), I realized that life is too fucking short to be unhappy. Stop doing what others think is best and do what is right for you. We have one life and I want to make sure I experience as much as possible.

Here is the quote I try to live by…”In the end…people will judge you anyway, so don’t live your life impressing others, live your life impressing yourself.’ ~ E. Infante

Vienna sausages are always on thee shelf waiting.