ashoka_akira t1_ita0vpu wrote on October 22, 2022 at 1:05 AM

Reply to comment by nature_remains in [Image] "Toxic Positivity is Forced..." - Susan David by true90sstory

My mother died from an unrelated bad infection about a week after getting a terminal cancer diagnosis. She was all ready to do her best to fight that cancer and even was talking to me and my sister about finding cute head scarfs for her hairloss during chemo.

The number of people who thought it would make me feel better to say some version of “well at least she didn’t have to suffer through all that chemo and is in no pain now,” just made me so very angry, like who are you to say that she didn’t deserve the chance to fight her cancer? perhaps it would’ve been drawn out and painful but at least she would’ve been able to give it a fight.

nature_remains t1_itjz2np wrote on October 24, 2022 at 5:06 AM

Oh my god. To go through all that - and for her to manage an awesome fighter attitude - only to be taken down by an unrelated infection?? What a gut punch. I'm just so so sorry to hear that. The roller coaster of emotions is simply unimaginable. What a tremendous loss. And for folks to shut it down (for their momentary comfort) by insinuating that it was somehow benevolent is infuriating. I hope you are holding up ok and that the waves of grief and anguish ebb for you from time to time. Not that I know anything about anything but if you ever want to reach out, please feel free to.