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fadoxi t1_itpi99l wrote

I have non.

Thanks for reminding me.

12

elleccceee t1_itpln53 wrote

Reason why I left work. I am just grateful for the restobar down at the 4th to keep me sane from the last 6months. The people who worked there became my friends, because there was literally no one in the office during my shifts. I thought it was okay at first until it went on for months. It was not difficult. It was unbearable.

2

optimist31 t1_itpsjlb wrote

Running away from problems is worse.

3

ValyrianJedi t1_itq0abn wrote

Strongly disagree on that one. There are plenty of things worth sacrificing some of your mental health for.

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rmc2318 t1_itq4gpb wrote

Replying to ValyrianJedi (#218,737)

Then you obviously haven’t stressed your mind to breaking point. For nothing in the working world is worth your Mental Health. A lesson you may learn one day.

0

IamasimpforObi-Wan t1_itq4smu wrote

I very recently quit my job and started a new course of study at university because of this. I wasn't gonna end up like my colleague who jumped in front of a train one day before I left.

190

ValyrianJedi t1_itq7ry6 wrote

Replying to rmc2318 (#219,201)

I used to work 90-100+ hour weeks, currently work ~70 hour weeks, have to spend 100+ nights a year in hotels for work, have a super high pressure job where a quarterly quota is hanging over your head and the bottom 10-15% of performers who do make quota still end up being cut each year end, my pay is 70% commission and bonus so I never know how much I'm making next month until I make it despite having a truckload of costs, and now we have triplets on the way... Pretty sure I'm extremely familiar with extreme stress. If that stress is a trade for my family's financial security, my family's stability, my kids' educations, my kids' opportunities, etc. then I am more than happy to go through a boatload of stress for that.

1

kitalorian t1_itqa421 wrote

Replying to rmc2318 (#219,201)

As someone who is permanently disabled, this is a WILD comment.

I have to work, or I die. Like most people. But I become psychotic with stress, which I push past (with doctor's help) because I HAVE to. Or else, once again, I DIE.

"Nothing in the working world is worth your mental health?" What about existing?

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BufferOverflowed t1_itqdi32 wrote

I guess I can't afford my job and just have to be homeless or something?

5

TwoStepsSidewards t1_itqi2yy wrote

Not a fan of this one.

Life is not sunshine and rainbows, hard work is required to succeed. Some of which, cost physical and mental strains that are needed to be pushed through not avoided.

To each their own, but I'd prefer working on my stress resilience not my ability to drop taxing problems in my life.

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pineal-gland t1_itqibpt wrote

i feel like everything costs me mental health so i quit a lot

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jsim3542 t1_itqj1bl wrote

But how much should mental health cost?

5

Smart_Doctor t1_itqjkc9 wrote

I mean... my son is 4 years old and he has cost me a lot of mental health. Should I get rid of him?

113

MeltAway421 t1_itqkksp wrote

OP here telling me to stop dating 😅

1

im_dumb_AF_28 t1_itqlowp wrote

I say that about work....waking up. Being alive. Just ain't worth it no more

1

Miyk t1_itqlqfv wrote

r/Relationships

1

ArtenoX1q t1_itqmv8m wrote

I guess I’m too broke to afford my parents

1

nodray t1_itqq1gm wrote

being homeless is expensive as fuck

3

gotghostco t1_itqqcvc wrote

Read this as massage so that tells you where I’m at

1

gameartist3d t1_itqrwss wrote

Growth is impossible without resistance.

8

MxMagic t1_itqt0lx wrote

Giving the cost of living for some of us these days this maybe does not read quite as motivational for some of us.

2

nestcto t1_itqt25r wrote

Replying to TwoStepsSidewards (#220,890)

Agreed. It's just like working out at the gym. You don't try to bench 150lb on your first go, then conclude that its not worth it after you injure a muscle. You work up to it over time.

Strain is good, but injury is not and comes from too much strain in too short a timeframe. That's what should be avoided.

66

HammieBs t1_itqy5n6 wrote

What if it's the 40hr work week that causes my distress

3

scobsagain t1_itqyf1k wrote

Yeah great except my job is causing the issues so should I be homeless instead?

4

Neurosaiki t1_itr07lc wrote

Replying to TwoStepsSidewards (#220,890)

100% agreed, science has proven that short term stress is one of the essential factor of learning a new complex skill, imagine yourself struggling with calculus questions and giving up, you will never learn that way. Stress is a mode of a body where it do everything in its control to get the problem solved.

The better approach as you said is to work on stress resilience and being completely conscious about what is worthy of stress and what is not, enlightening youself with wisdom might help. Remember we suffer more in imagination than in reality, so keep in mind to that.

14

TwoStepsSidewards t1_itr23k9 wrote

Replying to ItsDumi (#222,821)

This is purely my perspective on life, but, a 9-5 is the bare-minimum in a professionals life and isn't something I would consider successful in the grand scheme of finance acquisition. Even if you're making $150k/anually, if you're not working for yourself I don't believe you're fiscally independent. Success would be getting to a place of independence not available through a 9-5.

The attitude that holding a single 9-5 in modern society is some sort of achievement is limiting the potential for anyone who believes it. Reality in most cases a 9-5 is a base-level requirement and you'll never be successful only doing the base-level work.

If you want to only do, Bench, Squat, Deadlift, at your comfortable weight for 10 years of your life, I wouldn't say that's you putting in "hard work" it's base-level work which everyone should be doing. You won't get to the top levels of success with that workout, but you'll still be above anyone who doesn't even put in any effort.

Life's full of variables and outliers which we can discuss, but this is my general principle of thought on the topic.

−4

spacew0man t1_itr2duv wrote

Replying to kitalorian (#219,912)

Agreed. I have disabilities and mental health disorders and I’ve been in a state of chronic stress for many years because of it. If I followed the advice of this post, I would literally be unable to exist at all. Like, take care of your mental health, and make changes if you personally feel they will help your situation. But just quitting everything that costs your mental health? Existing costs me my mental health, lmao. I still gotta get up and do it just like countless others who have to do the same to survive.

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spacew0man t1_itr392k wrote

This works in some situations, but falls flat in many others. Sometimes, you have to keep going even though it costs your mental health. In those cases, that’s when you learn coping skills and ways to protect your mental health despite being in extremely stressful situations.

Not everyone can just quit because their job or school is tanking their mental health, but the answer isn’t to just suffer. You take up journaling, meditation, breathing exercises, relaxation techniques, therapy, medication, literally anything you can to take care of yourself so you can get through that stress and make it to the other side. Life is hard, but humans are resilient and history shows how stubbornly we will press onward even in the most dire of circumstances.

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TheBlackJewFromTexas t1_itr3vna wrote

The fact that directly after this post was an ad for a hoodie that said “if it costs you your peace then it’s too expensive” makes this message seem to come from some Reddit Algorithm higher power

2

Emacks632 t1_itr7m7q wrote

Lol calling me out as a law student

2

andrewjcavasos t1_itr95ew wrote

"If it costs you peace of mind it might be too expensive" -Deep Reverence by Big sean

1

Electronic_Stuff4363 t1_itrc0fc wrote

Amen to that , whether it be a job, a relationship, a place you are currently in etc

1

-CubanPete- t1_itrg10g wrote

League of legends players in shambles.

1

Tcav t1_itrg54j wrote

Tell that to the electric bill.

1

Natsu194 t1_itrg8wf wrote

I agree, college is too expensive. Well back to having anxiety attacks as I study…

1

Mallettjt t1_itrhsf2 wrote

I guess I’ll stay single

1

_cedarwood_ t1_itrikcb wrote

As always, there's a caveat. Improving your mental health is not easy or comfortable. It's worth it

2

Tankmp4 t1_itrofjf wrote

So life is too expensive?

4

johansugarev t1_itrpj9w wrote

I’m considering buying a home that’s a bit too expensive for me. It will cost me mental health. But it might brings some peace too.

1

nemisis9058 t1_itrq88j wrote

So what if the process of living and taking care of yourself or others is starting to become too much mentally? What do you do then?

1

tanktametet-pwemskan t1_itrt7p0 wrote

so life is too expensive. driving a car on a road that has other drivers driving their car on it is too expensive. i could go on.

1

tanktametet-pwemskan t1_itrts3w wrote

Replying to TwoStepsSidewards (#220,890)

after all that hard work, I've had two surgeries for hernia repair. Lost nerve function in my left hand and am losing my eyesight. gosh, I wish all I needed was simple stress resilience. get back to me when those taxing problems cause you permanent physical damage.

5

tanktametet-pwemskan t1_itrty21 wrote

Replying to nestcto (#222,185)

>Strain is good, but injury is not and comes from too much strain in too short a timeframe.

I tried to tell that to life but it wouldn't listen. now I've got permanent injuries that will not heal. no it couldn't be avoided.

1

craigmadbricky t1_itru5ju wrote

The simple verse. "You can be right, or you can be happy"

1

literally_pee t1_itrvqaz wrote

this quote is nice, but american politics have decided their priorities, mental health is not one of them.

I get what it means, if its stressing you out too much dont do it.

but that implies that stress is bad.

There is good stress and bad stress.

this is the core of mental health, trying to find the balance between overfeeling or underfeeling.

some numbers I found.

if I recall were at 40 school mass shootings this year.

55 percent of people that need mental health treatment dont get it.

80 percent of people with autism dont get treatment.

1

Rude_Session52 t1_itrw0zr wrote

So what do I do if like... most things cost my mental health? I'm partially kidding bc I actually really like the post. I just really struggle with what seems like EVERYTHING.

1

-female-redditor- t1_itrxefb wrote

Replying to TwoStepsSidewards (#220,890)

Mental health is different than stress.

Some amount of stress can be healthy, as you pointed out, but when you overwork yourself endlessly, it takes a serious toll on your mental health.

Lifting weights properly leads to healthy muscles and growth. Lifting weights endlessly without rest leads to muscle injury.

It’s important to know where your limits are, and not to over exert yourself, both physically and mentally.

If the activity you are forcing yourself to do is making you depressed so much that you find yourself escaping from reality (alcohol, drugs, eating too much, sleeping too much, etc), odds are high that you are pushing yourself too hard.

My job was extremely stressful and it took a serious toll on my body. Whenever I wasn’t working, I was trying to forget work so I wouldn’t be stressed. This lead to me gaining a lot of weight and getting drunk and high all the time when I wasn’t working. When I quit my job, I just naturally stopped all of those bad habits and ended up losing 15 pounds in just two months.

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literally_pee t1_itry7dv wrote

Replying to spacew0man (#223,474)

that's the problem in america, people have to make a choice.

homeless and miserable or employed and miserable.

it doesnt help that there is a war going on between employers and emplyess.

or that mental health centers are backed up for months, some years.

thankfully mental health apps offer a bundle of features that were helpful to me.

like you said, its important to put in the work for the life you want. Honestly this is abetter quote than the one op posted.

my point is that the quote from op is a nice sentiment, sure.

but it has the same tone deafness as "let them eat cake" I'd argue.

1

Insanity8016 t1_itrzfo2 wrote

What if everything that you need to do will cost your mental health?

2

ValyrianJedi t1_its06rp wrote

Replying to literally_pee (#226,924)

My dad drank himself to death when I was 13 and my mom used to sell food stamps for painkillers and booze money, and left me couch surfing for a month when I was 10 when she ran off with some dude after Woodstock 99. Don't think I was all that lucky on the parent front ha.

3

SawLine t1_its0y6j wrote

Yea. Life is expensive

1

djphooka t1_its1806 wrote

Welp, I'm done with life then!

1

EricYorbasTaintSmell t1_its1pui wrote

Replying to TwoStepsSidewards (#223,332)

What load of nonsense in your reply. By that same token, anyone who works more than you can look at you as doing the bare minimum, slacker.

Maybe a one size fits all approach to your perspective is the problem with your outlook.

What do the boots taste like? Never actually licked them myself

5

kitalorian t1_its2jt8 wrote

Replying to literally_pee (#227,055)

I think of it like this:

If you weigh the outcomes between contacting a doctor again or not, which choice produces less stress in the long-term (because today is just right now)?

The temporary, but immediate and insistent stress of a phone call? And then hopefully help, maybe some meds, more support?

Or....

Your mental health declining until doing all of the above things is harder and there's more stress because you haven't been able to keep up with life around you?

Absolutely no hate, I've been there, but what makes me do the healthy thing for myself nowadays, after failing so many times, is knowing through failure which outcome leads where, and parenting my slightly-broken mind to do the thing that will hurt me less overall. Because how can I complain when I'm not helping myself, ya know?

I hope you feel better <3

Quick edit: also, stress and anxiety around doctors is normal. Don't be hard on yourself about feeling those things, just don't let them hold you back from getting healthier and feeling better things

2

literally_pee t1_its2u7z wrote

Replying to ValyrianJedi (#227,050)

I apologize, I'm not assuming to know anything about your path in life.

perhaps I meant, you should be grateful instead that your brain perseveres. And can handle that sort of load.

that's the most important skill to have. It allows the wonderful growth of every other trait.

my brain lacks that capacity, so I'm on the road to recovery.

0

aunttjemima t1_its3ub6 wrote

What if it's a toxic parent but I can't afford to move because rent is so fucking ridiculous.

1

loamobn t1_its6294 wrote

This is so untrue

1

David_Umstattd t1_its6x2t wrote

Wise man once said:

“Rememba: don’t do drugs

Is too ESPENSIVE”

1

SleePixel t1_its6z8s wrote

who knew living would be expensive

1

Woodbean t1_its8iqd wrote

Replying to EthosPathosLegos (#220,037)

It’s not for everyone.

That’s a problem we have here in the States: not enough credence paid to vocational training/education.

Very much needed and very lucrative, but constantly overlooked.

9

DigitalSteven1 t1_its8puv wrote

Every time I see this it always gives me the same reaction. Every action you take costs you your mental health. While we all want it to be, life isn't perfect. And if you want to live your best life, you will need compromise somewhere. And that won't feel good, but it's the only option you have.

1

Jefc141 t1_its929d wrote

Wellp I guess that’s a wrap on life LOL

1

Sairoxin t1_its96pt wrote

So everything, depending on one's tolerance to life's stressors?

Everything costs you. If u truly do your job you give yourself with each day. I work in hospitals and give a bit of my mental to console my patients.

It's more about managing yourself and not giving too much. Give a little, but be mindful not to give too much or else you burn out too soon.

1

Ambitious_Potato91 t1_itsd0gl wrote

So am I supposed to… not live or something? Cuz I’m pretty sure that living is the leading cause of mental health problems…. Js 🤷🏻‍♀️

1

Qrst_123 t1_itsecdj wrote

LET THIS SINK IN!!!!

1

TheRealBillyShakes t1_itsfrkm wrote

“An eye (and even my mind!) is but a small price to pay for a dragon.”

  • Aemond Targaryen, maybe
1

TwoStepsSidewards t1_itsptvk wrote

Replying to EricYorbasTaintSmell (#227,215)

> By that same token, anyone who works more than you can look at you as doing the bare minimum, slacker.

I don't understand how you got to this perspective. It's really a spectrum. You can be a millionaire but not a billionaire. Both are successful, but one is greater than the other. Which in return, the billionaire could say the millionaire is a "slacker" in certain degrees of finance, even though both are successful compared to average income earners. But a 9-5 worker will never be able to tell a millionaire they're a slacker, because they're not as successful fiscally.

The original comment is about how "everyone who works a 9-5 if they work hard should be successful then" which the reality is having a 9-5 is not working "hard" in comparison to someone fiscally independent. It's the bare-minimum, again, everyone should be getting some fitness in through the week as bare-minimum, a lot of people don't do any. That doesn't make the people who do the 3 times a week walk successful in fitness, it makes them the bare-minimum. Now may that bare-minimum be difficult for the individual? It sure may, - but in comparison to the grand scheme of fitness it is not, above average. Where working a 9-5 is average.

>Maybe a one size fits all approach to your perspective is the problem with your outlook

My outlook? The fact you should work beyond the average and desire independence is holding me back? I don't understand how you would think that when the other avenue is just, "do the average 9-5" unless you believe a 9-5 is not average. I'm unsure as you didn't feel inclined to highlight any opposition, you just put up silly insults.

>What do the boots taste like? Never actually licked them myself

This is really odd as you're the advocate for a 9-5 but calling me the bootlicker? Your position is, 'work for someone that's paying me far less than they are getting paid, because that's success" where mine is "9-5 is the starting point, aim higher and work towards it because working for the man won't get you success.' Could you explain how my ideology is "bootlicking" while yours isn't?

0

Myshoesareloose t1_itsqugd wrote

Replying to bit_banging_your_mum (#226,425)

Sometimes I feel like you guys do this on purpose, take a good but not perfect advice and apply it to the worst of cases to make it seem not good anymore. Believe it or not, there is nothing in this world that would apply for everything or everyone.

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[deleted] t1_itsrqor wrote

Literally called out of work today for this exact reason.

1

warden976 t1_itst2fj wrote

I actually really appreciate this one because sometimes I have trouble letting something I put time, effort and talent into go and cut my losses. Instead I will let it consume me as I try over and over to make it work. I have to tell myself it’s just not worth it. I eventually get there but it’s a process.

1

Perfidious_Coda t1_itst8au wrote

What if I got more mental health? Is there an amount of mental health I can get so I can afford spending it? Also where do I get mental health?

1

Insanity8016 t1_itstv2m wrote

Replying to TwoStepsSidewards (#220,890)

Goggins would definitely disagree with the image post as well. One might also point out, that even through hard work, and through suffering physically and mentally, you may still fail all the same and end up right back where you started, or worse. And that is heartbreaking, to say the least. But the message lies in trying again.

1

xQx1 t1_itsv03v wrote

Replying to Smart_Doctor (#221,089)

Nobody said anything about getting rid of such problems, they just said they're too expensive.

Children are too expensive.

If you didn't know that 5 years ago, I'm sorry.

As parents, let's shout this from the rooftops:

#virgins of Reddit: Having children is the practically worst thing you can do for your financial future. It is hands-down the worst financial decision most people make in their life. They are also incredibly emotionally draining (sometimes).

They are frightfully expensive in terms of time, money and emotion. Many parents need serious psychological help as a direct result of trying to balance their kids needs with their own.

That said, almost all parents say it's worth it.

3

denzelclocker t1_itsv0b8 wrote

But it feels too good. And therapy to escape it is too expensive.

1

xQx1 t1_itsvfij wrote

Replying to ItsDumi (#222,821)

>If hard work led to success, everyone with a 9 - 5 would be successful.

In 2022 economic terms, everyone with a 9 - 5 is successful.

1

1Eternallylost t1_itsvg1q wrote

Mental health? I lost that over 60 years ago, and I'm only 55.

1

zagesquire t1_itsvkyi wrote

What is the definition of mental health? Like going crazy? I am a lawyer and it seems that there is no way you get to keep your “mental health” every day. There are jobs that are very demanding but worth it.

1

klnm28 t1_itsvzxm wrote

Or it’s too cheap

1

cheaka12 t1_itt44ae wrote

Well that would be my job lol

1

mr---jones t1_itt4cd1 wrote

Huuuuugely debateable. Hard things rarely aren't mentally exhausting. If it's going to pay off in the long run often it is 100% worth it. Grinding my ass off long days at work, now I got a cusby spot making 6 figures.

Had I not traded "mental health" for grindset mindset I'd be in a much worse place, feeling much shitter about myself

1

Suspicious-Elk-3631 t1_itt4chz wrote

Replying to TwoStepsSidewards (#220,890)

For real. This is the kind of coffee mug quote crap they try to sell you at Hobby Lobby. Most people can't just stay home when they need "me time" or drop everything and get a new less stressful job and still pay the bills. Life is hard, take care of yourself and others the best you can and make do. I'm fun at parties.

2

hezzospike t1_itt4m09 wrote

Replying to Insanity8016 (#230,550)

I respect Goggins' accomplishments but he (very self admittedly) has some screws loose. He's pushed himself to the point of serious bodily injury on many occasions. Good for motivation in small doses, but not someone to replicate.

2

jimbop79 t1_itt89pn wrote

I’m having the worst day in over half my life, over something ultimately within my control. But I feel so stressed, lost, and hopeless.

I haven’t given up yet, but it’s hard not to conclude that hard work, honesty, decency, responsibility, and compassion simply aren’t as valuable as I’d like them to be.

But I’ve decided decided to make some changes today, sacrificing things that I really want in order to keep my sanity. It sucks feeling this way, like no matter what I do, things will never get better. Maybe a change of lifestyle will do me some good.

0

Secret-Plant-1542 t1_itt9k56 wrote

In college, I worked at fast food where most places were paying $7, they paid $10. And they constantly bragged about how much they pay, while taunting to you that you're "lucky" to be working there and they only hire the best of the best. Real cult shit.

I used to finish my shift and drink 3-4 beers to relax. I'm in my late 30s and now have a few medical issues because of my college drinking problem.

1

chynabrack t1_ittaa58 wrote

I left a new job last Sunday because the owner kept stressing my team so much, that I almost yelled at her for the first ever since I started working as a chef few years ago.

The pay was slightly above average, but my sanity is worth much more than above average pay

1

BalooDaBear t1_ittao9i wrote

Replying to Woodbean (#227,956)

I mean, overall I like school, I do well, and I definitely want the degree...but omggg is it not good for my mental health sometimes (especially since I struggle with ADHD and anxiety) 😅

In life, a lot of the best things for you will have periods where they really push on your mental health, that doesn't mean they aren't worth it or you should drop them.

2

Hotpfix t1_ittbo0f wrote

Sometimes you’re only choice is how much mental health to sacrifice.

1

Krakatoast t1_ittfmv8 wrote

Replying to xQx1 (#230,689)

Idk man, my primal urges say otherwise, anyone wanna loan me a quarter million so I can fulfill my instinctive drive?

Well also I don’t want one kid to be lonely… I’m here today to once again ask for your support, a half million over 18 years should do the trick

Ofc /s

I really think a lot of people get caught up in the moment and don’t think about that. Ofc life has too many variables to predict and children can be great for some people, but the idea of having an extra half million at retirement age by literally just not having children is… kind of wild. Ofc a lot of ppl become more driven and responsible with children, but the idea kind of boggles my mind.

Not to mention the thousands of hours spent. I mean if someone spends 2 hours a day (total) on two children from 0-18, thats 45 full 16hr days a year, or 2.25 years of full 16 hour days… and about a half million dollars from 0-18

I understand why people have kids, but wow…

1

FjotraTheGodless t1_ittk941 wrote

My ex must have seen this quote, because he told me he was never going to get himself hurt helping someone else again after breaking up with me when I told him I was feeling suicidal

1

bobber229 t1_ittmg6l wrote

But what it it's a fight to be in your children's lives when your ex is a POS and moved your kids 500 miles away while you were deployed?

1

aSharkNamedHummus t1_ittnlc9 wrote

Replying to BalooDaBear (#233,550)

Oh I absolutely agree that degrees can fuck you up mentally, and even physically. I’m a chemist. I’m also 3 years into an ulcerative colitis flareup that started because of the (di)stress from organic chem class back in sophomore year. The senior classes made things far worse. I was constantly swimming in homework, trying to meet deadlines, and giving up sleep and any semblance of a social life. I had a near-perfect GPA, and I was downright miserable. Luckily my first job out of college has been extremely low-stress, and it’s magnitudes easier than college.

Hang in there, chief, I know it’s not easy. Please, for the sake of your own well-being, make time to hang out with friends and/or family, even if you have to let your grades slip a little. Perfect grades aren’t worth it. Whatever field you’re shooting for, it’ll get you much farther to know someone on the inside who can recommend you to the boss. Good luck with your degree!

2

KTFCommander t1_itu77ue wrote

That goes for toxic family and friends as well

1

sylsau t1_itynwny wrote

Essential reminder.

1