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raised_by_groening t1_iud8c78 wrote

Reply to comment by DuskyDay in [image] Stop Negotiating with toxic people by tobycastle

Oh I truly disagree with this. And I think this is quite the opposite of the evolutionary advantage of forgiveness.

You see when you have a negative thought about yourself or others, it is actually a burden. A person overwhelmed is full of negative thoughts that they can not handle, and can not deal with. So they lash out, in their community or inward (depression).

Anyway.

You see, when you identify someone as toxic, just a little bit you actually identify yourself as being toxic. Here is how I know. The process of identification takes the same neurons you are using to read this sentence, and when you identify someone as toxic, that label in of itself as a memory, you hold and retain that memory. If you are not your memories, uhh I don't know who you are.

Anyway, if you want to purge yourself of all toxicity, you forgive all people and yourself of all negative behaviors or things that have hurt you in the past.

If you do not do this, you are literally slowly, building up negative memories one by one, slowly over time. Until you get overwhelmed or 'lose your cool'.

Evolutionarily forgiveness gives a person the ability to accept people where they are, not take offense of minor inconveniences, and gives them the opportunity to be good. Which makes the community better for the self and others.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk,

Sincerely ,

Homer Simpson

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[deleted] t1_iudgwju wrote

[deleted]

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raised_by_groening t1_iudiyu7 wrote

I appreciate what you are trying to articulate, but umm. I beg your pardon, did you address any of my factual arguments?

Maybe there is a miscommunication going on.

What is the precise definition of an individual with a cluster b personality disorder? Why are they acting like that? Did they have childhood trauma? If they are overwhelmed how do we prevent them from being overwhelmed and how do we help them to be virtuous people in society?

I literally studied existential philosophy and I literally hold myself accountable for all things, things I have done and things I have not done. So I don't think it applies to me, but maybe you are talking about a hypothetical person in society?

How does this relate to your database of memories? And your identity as a person?

Also this seems to be contradictory. You say there are people out there somewhere acting this way:

>“it’s not me, it’s YOU, YOU refuse to let go of the past”. But In every instance, they refuse to be held accountable.

But people that hold others accountable without forgiving them, seem to be doing exactly this on the small scale. They aren't saying this explicitly but you are literally thinking it and it manifests in those that are overwhelmed.

​

Thanks for coming to my ted talk

Sincerely

~Homer Simpson

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[deleted] t1_iudskbb wrote

[deleted]

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raised_by_groening t1_iuduccs wrote

My friend I am so sorry for whatever you are going through. You are going through a lot and need a lot of emotional support to keep going.

I am hoping nothing but the best for you, I take you at your word and I hope you can have harmony within your family in the future.

Please take care of yourself

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DuskyDay t1_iuexw58 wrote

Sorry, identifying something as X doesn't make you little X. This just isn't true as a matter of logic.

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raised_by_groening t1_iuezfd0 wrote

Oh, you are one that studies logic! Me too!! Which study of logic do you subscribe? Do you have a favorite professor of logic?

Oh and I absolutely disagree with your statement. My argument is an incredibly small claim.

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