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ValyrianJedi t1_ius72xr wrote

If my thoughts all became words I'd be fired and divorced tomorrow

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Gainsborough-Smythe OP t1_ius88dy wrote

That's why they need watching... :)

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[deleted] t1_iustzjl wrote

and destiny becomes fate

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FrostyTheSasquatch t1_iutyo2o wrote

Destiny IS fate, isn’t it?

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[deleted] t1_iuu4c8k wrote

destiny is what you should be if you do the right stuff

fate is where your destiny takes you, final destination. Tombstone text.

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nature_remains t1_iut31kh wrote

I'm not, like, a massive fan of The Secret or the alleged 'magical powers' of what is termed the law of attraction (for the same reasons that I think any belief system can be harmful when you take it too far and shut out necessary parts of reality). However, I think that there is a lot of practical wisdom behind the principle of taking control of your thoughts - which is what I believe this quote is getting at (regardless of who said it). Although bad experiences are inevitable and negative thoughts can be both useful and necessary, I think that there is a tremendous value in training our brains to focus on the outcomes and ideas that we want more of in our lives. Unfortunately, there are quite a few folks who thoughtlessly peddle various brands of bullshit toxic positivity that bastardize this term. They tend to preach that positive thinking (positive honking if you are my phone's autocorrect) as though it is a type of supernatural force that is 100% effective at bringing about the seemingly impossible (and if you don't achieve success it is because you failed in your methodology - convenient) or alternately, it is used as a type of hollow mantra that will eventually be believed if you just say it long enough or see it frequently enough without doing the work - conveniently a great way to sell merch also.

Instead I think the value lies in harnessing the brain's tremendous power as a muscle by strengthening your resolve to achieve xyz by specifically targeting targeting neural pathways that take you there. It's a fucking hike at first and can feel pretty unnatural and like a pointlessly difficult exercise in futility where you are trying to trick yourself (it did for me anyway as I am naturally cynical and my internal monologue trends toward being an unfairly negative self-critic of the highest order). So I was fucking stunned stupid by the impact this [initially] labored shift in thinking had on my life -- in achieving my own goals and in my attitude towards life. It unexpectedly had this incredibly transformative effect on my relationships as well. The quality of my interactions with others heightened and I found myself learning and valuing people I had long ago written off as incapable of providing me with anything. Anyway, I chose to vomit this insight out because it was just so much more worthwhile than I expected and I needed to write it down as a reminder to myself that it is worth the effort (I have let it wane as of late). Perhaps it will be useful to you in your own life. If not, I hear they're doing awesome shit with crystal balls these days.

Good luck to you! (I know you are half joking but I recommend starting by doing all you can to focus on things you genuinely value in your partner and job and go from there. If nothing else, it'll be helpful in the upcoming divorce and termination proceedings lest you inadvertently allow all the bad to spill out :)

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Greenbeano_o t1_iuuuhtf wrote

Awesome stuff. Any particular books that have helped you the most in taking control of your thoughts in a beneficial way?

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faahqueimmanutjawb t1_iuv30bb wrote

Thanks for the comment.

I had read a comment on another forum where the commenter talked about how your subconscious is helping you navigate life; and that the positive thoughts, affirmations, prayers etc are just you telling your subconscious what you seek. The subconscious then filters your experiences or it highlights what you seek when you come across it instead of drowning it out in the noise of experience.

Also related: my uncle who's fairly religious and I (quite agnostic) have discussions regarding spirituality. He's told me several times that it boils down to reaffirming your belief in your own capabilities and strength. The more you believe that you are strong and capable, the more you will be seeking to do and achieve - and the more successful outcomes you will likely have.

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Cognitive_Spoon t1_iutc9kk wrote

Yeah, this is extra shit advice if you have OCD intrusive thoughts

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v74u t1_iuwd0rn wrote

As someone with OCD anytime I hear advice about behavior or thoughts I immediately think of how that advice would apply to OCD lol. I think it’s almost like a part of OCD. Realistically it is probably just talking about the conscious thoughts you intend to have and not the unconscious thoughts you randomly have. I have noticed a correlation though that advice that would negatively affect someone with OCD is normally just bad advice because everyone has unwanted thoughts and feeling.

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