[image]Do your bestSubmitted by thirtyVerb t3_z7kjsz in GetMotivated
hungrydruid t1_iy7jfsb wrote
As a recovering perfectionist, I hate this quote. My brain assumes that if one time I did 100% perfect worthy work, that well 'that is my best' and so literally any effort that's not 100% is bullshit worthless.
It's been really hard to retrain my brain and my thought patterns that it's okay to not get 100% on things and that there are other factors that affect my life... stress, sleep, family and friends, etc. that mean that my best will vary from day to day. And that's it's also okay to reserve my effort and my energy for the things that really matter, and that it's also okay to not give my best for those things that don't. Done is better than perfect.
(excuse the rant it's 4:30am yay Dragonflight)
sparklesandflies t1_iy7qubg wrote
Panel 2 “Everybody’s best is different” also applies to that fact that some days, your best is different. If on Tuesday, all you can muster is 60% of what you gave on Monday, that was Tuesday’s best. And that’s just fine! Like you said, done is better than perfect.
hooplah t1_iy81bq8 wrote
i also am a perfectionist in recovery and i think the phrase “do your best” means you can decide what is best for you at a bird’s eye view. part of doing your best is protecting yourself, prioritizing, and making room for some level of “failure” into your life in a healthy way. overextending yourself to give your unattainable “best” at every effort is not good for you.
odigon t1_iybkkf4 wrote
I believe I have also seen somebody make the point that if you are always doing your best, then it becomes your norm, not your best. Your 'best' will always be rare occasions to be remembered and celebrated, where you have achieved some personal pinnacle of achievement, rarely repeated. I dont know if that makes things any better, but maybe it tempers expectations a little?
Uruz2012gotdeleted t1_iy9aawc wrote
Then it's completely either meaningless or an excuse to just do whatever with no regard to efficiency or quality. There's no way to slice this that it doesn't come out sounding trite.
sparklesandflies t1_iy9j2ei wrote
I mean…point me to a motivational phrase that isn’t a little trite. If a sappy message help you to let go of the anxiety and exhaustion of always trying to deliver 100% perfection in all aspects of your life every day, then this post is for you. If it makes you roll your eyes because you already feel like you are balancing your work, social, household, etc., expectations on your own, then roll your eyes and move on.
ksknksk t1_iy9jbhz wrote
You shouldn’t have to lie to yourself in order to motivate
PM_UR_PLATONIC_SOLID t1_iy81hl7 wrote
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ValyrianJedi t1_iy8ndk7 wrote
Eh, there are definitely scenarios where the results matter, and doing a poor job is no better than just not doing it.
sparklesandflies t1_iy9i7sn wrote
In some very specific scenarios, yes. There is no one blanket statement to cover all possible situations. So if you are trying to design a system to prevent nuclear meltdown, sure. Do it perfectly or have someone else do it perfectly. But for the vast majority of life events? Done is better than perfect. Too tired after work to cook a balanced, healthy, delicious meal? Eat something rather than go without. Didn’t make it out for a 40-minute run? Walk for 15 instead of laying on the couch. A client wants a mock-up of a deliverable but your deadline is too short? Show them why you have and describe the rest. That might not work every time, but it’s better than delivering nothing because it wasn’t 100%.
PM_UR_PLATONIC_SOLID t1_iyakssm wrote
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mayflowers5 t1_iy8b2gr wrote
I totally get this, but what really hit me and helped me get over this was college. A zero on a test I hadn’t studied for and decided to just skip cause I was embarrassed was much worse for my overall grade than a 50% or whatever it was. It also pushed me to do better on the next one. My first year of college netted me like a 2.0 GPA and when I finally went back a few years later this strategy led to my 3.9 GPA. I wasn’t smarter or anything, but I changed my mindset.
MapleMapleHockeyStk t1_iy7nlc3 wrote
WoW reference?! How is the new expansion?
hungrydruid t1_iy8uc9u wrote
I'm really enjoying it! Already better than Dragonflight lol. I'm taking it slow and just having fun bc I have my last term of school finishing up rn too. Love me some dragons, this is my dream expansion lol.
badmentalhealthlol28 t1_iy8a4qx wrote
Been suffering from perfectionism, I start to hate myself if its not the best and then the things only get worser and take a tremendous amount of time to fix my mental health again
waterwings91 t1_iy8d8u2 wrote
This quote is more about effort over outcome. Every situation is different, and every person is different. If you gave it 100% effort, that's what matters. You might not get the 100% outcome that you wanted, but you did your best and you'll do a lot better than if you gave 50% effort.
Burden15 t1_iy8r3lq wrote
By definition tho, I think if you’re giving 100% effort all the time you’re going to be incredibly stressed and burnt out. Even applying that thinking to 100% effort at relaxing, when you need to relax, is gonna be counterproductive. As a habitual optimizer and tryhard, I understand why people here advocate that, sometimes, you just need to take er easy.
waterwings91 t1_iy8sp60 wrote
There will be times when giving 100% is going to be stressful, you might burnout a bit, but if it's a consistent problem then you're giving over 100%. There are a lot of factors, as I said every situation is different and you want to do your best in that situation.
Let's take a runner for example. In two different races, they'll have two different approaches. In a sprint, it's all out for 10s and they are gassed at the end. If they were to run a marathon at that pace they'd never make it. They'd be too stressed and they'd burnout. Now, running a marathon in 4 hours is a good time, but definitely slower than a sprint. That doesn't mean that the runner didn't give it 100% though, they just changed their effort to meet their goal.
hungrydruid t1_iy8uhw8 wrote
But this is kind of my point, I cannot give 100% in different forms in all things. It's just way too much expectations and work, and my brain doesn't differentiate different forms very well anyway. It's been a learning process to reframe my thinking as such.
Uruz2012gotdeleted t1_iy9al9n wrote
If you're holding back effort then, by definition, you aren't giving 100%. That or you're just saying in hindsight, "I gave 100%." regardless which is definitely a tautology.
waterwings91 t1_iy9nak6 wrote
The original quote was always do you best, so maybe I was wrong to say 100% effort when I meant do you best. At this point we're arguing semantics. Do your best, your best will look different depending on your goals.
Burden15 t1_iy8ui20 wrote
Yea, I understand what you’re saying. What I’m saying is that it isn’t necessarily healthy to always be in a race mindset, optimizing for whatever is your peak sustainable productivity theoretically is. Sometimes a person just needs to chill
ksknksk t1_iy9j7wa wrote
Yes exactly!! You can always try to do your best, but NOBODY can always do their best.
hungrydruid t1_iy9jpx7 wrote
Yeah, my parents used to say this when I was younger (while also teasing me if I got less than 100%) and it just really messed me up for a long time. Therapy's helped a lot but it's still something I struggle with.
ksknksk t1_iyao5f3 wrote
Glad you’ve found a way to move forward!
tyco_brahe t1_iy8tfte wrote
This is how I feel too. I don't need to do my best when pouring my cereal in the morning. I do need to do my best when presenting to the board.
StaryNayt t1_iyaer2p wrote
How do I unlearn being a perfectionist? I screw up a lot because of obsessing on mundane details.
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