Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

theKetoBear t1_j6xnruh wrote

I've learned the pain of a " what if " hurts and sticks with me way more than the embassment of my worst situation where I did bet on myself .

I've definitely had my fair share of disappointments when betting on myself but even the worst situatuions gave me something to grow from and share with others. Even Failure has value if you position yourself and the lessons you gathered from it correctly.

219

Vic_Hedges t1_j6xy8ym wrote

Because if I bet against myself, I kind of win either way.

6

[deleted] t1_j6xyqjy wrote

I just ran through a brick wall. Thanks OP.

13

mika--- t1_j6y2pxc wrote

because they will be worse that way

8

dino_giggles75 t1_j6y2sjx wrote

And if you've consistently let everyone else down? What then?

21

pakZ t1_j6y79ik wrote

20 years of sports betting taught me to never ever bet on your own team ✌️

31

j29o t1_j6y9pku wrote

Why would I bet on someone who has fear and anxiety?

10

Ericknator t1_j6yrt90 wrote

If anxiety didn't give me headaches I could actually do something.

10

lonelythrowaway463i9 t1_j6yvgdr wrote

Replying to theKetoBear (#1,704,853)

The pain of regret last far longer than the pain of failure. That's what I always try to tell myself when I play the what if game. Also, one thing that helped me was making my what ifs positive. Instead of "oh god what if i fail" i do "what if i nail it?" Change "what if this is the worst thing ever" to "what if it works out just fine?" What if goes both ways. If I'm going to play the what if game no matter what then I might as well play a more enjoyable version

74

bmruk92 t1_j6z0alu wrote

Awesome just the advice I needed. Throwing 100k on the bears to win this year’s Super Bowl.

1

AlwaysForgetsPazverd t1_j6z4m1b wrote

I'm having a panic attack and when i saw "fear and anxiety" i got excited that the rest of this would help. But it did not. not at all.

5

JMHSrowing t1_j6z62ax wrote

Because it becomes physically painful and mentally exhausting at a certain point, causing issues including things like chipping teeth.

And, because it also so often means little anyway.

The pain of “what if” is a hard one, but so is that of failure. The “what if” also doesn’t haunt me quite the same ways that all my failures do.

For people who don’t have like diagnosable anxiety I’m sure this quote is fine though

10

JMHSrowing t1_j6z6ye0 wrote

Replying to lonelythrowaway463i9 (#1,707,488)

I wish that that seemed true. I’ll forget a lot of ‘what if’s before I forget the pain and embarrassment from some failures. They haunt for years.

And the whole thinking about best/worst case never really seems to help me much either. Like the reasonable worst case scenario always seems so much worse than the reasonable best case. It seems quite infeasible to completely make several friendships or one’s reputation, but it’s easy to obliterate it all at once. Sure rock climbing might be fun in the moment and conquering one’s fear validating, but you could almost just as easily cripple yourself for life.

Life and the world is always stacked so much against anyone, so seeing that to me isn’t a fun thing

9

Draken09 t1_j6zbzal wrote

I intentionally consider the "realistic" worst case scenario. By arguing "very unlikely" to the worst thoughts, I can instead plan around more plausible bad outcomes. This let's me feel more prepared and in control of the situation.

4

Atsubro t1_j6zfy88 wrote

That's powerful af holy shit

1

subaqueousReach t1_j6zgi10 wrote

Because the anxiety is regularly and consistently telling me its not a safe bet

7

LuneBlu t1_j6zjpcq wrote

Because it feels safer?

1

En-TitY_ t1_j6zl3wz wrote

Usually, a lot of these are complete shit, but this one speaks to me. Hmmm ...

2

Yarddogkodabear t1_j6zm4a8 wrote

This logic was short listed for reasons to start my art career

1

YamComfortable8500 t1_j6zqn4z wrote

I always criticized people who trivialized any mental condition, and today, I'm living what I never imagined. it's crippling to feel out of your own life, the only tip I can suggest is that we should hold up that lucid moment that appears for a few moments, and try to make it last as long as possible! it's not a bet, it's a loan that we do to ourselves hoping that one day we can pay.

1

Imn0tg0d t1_j6zxugq wrote

Because I'm stuck on the floor of my kitchen curled up in a ball. I picked that spot because the air feels different. If I move from that spot I will cry.

Anyone who says you can overpower or logic with an anxiety attack has never gone through a bad one.

17

mostlygray t1_j702qu2 wrote

Replying to lonelythrowaway463i9 (#1,707,488)

I prefer to not ever "What if..." things. Sure, I'll consider possibilities. I'll hedge. I'll make sure that I'm prepared for contingencies.

When it comes to the action though? I prefer screaming "I regret everything!!!" and go for it.

It's never failed me. If you think it's time to go to an job interview with nothing but your pants on your head and a smile, go nuts. Maybe it'll work? The fact is, I've pre-regretted my actions so I don't have to worry about.

5

resfan t1_j705ukp wrote

If only that's how it worked.

1

siler7 t1_j706w4k wrote

Context? We don't need no stinking context.

1

p__yos t1_j70a0aw wrote

I've experienced the sting of regret from "what ifs" more intensely than the embarrassment of my worst self-betting scenarios. Despite these setbacks, I've grown and gained valuable lessons that I can now share with others. Failure can be a valuable teacher if approached with the right perspective.

1

moon-ho t1_j70cq5h wrote

I love motivations, encouraging people to push their boundaries and etc but this man is lying!

It's so much easier and less stressful to let someone else make the big decisions and suffer the consequences.

2

Wild-Course-8469 t1_j70cqco wrote

Just got into my dream school but when I first started the process I wanted to back out immediately because I didn’t want to have to tell people I didn’t get in. But my new years resolution’s last year was to do things that scared me and I did and I succeeded. Looking at it now even if I had not got in I would have gotten farther than I thought I would have. So as hard and unhelpful as it sounds really don’t let yourself stop you from getting the things you want!

1

JDBCool t1_j70czrt wrote

Replying to JMHSrowing (#1,708,111)

How I deal with "decremential life choices" is.

What is this pain in the grand scheme of the some 32k-ish days I'm on this rock? (Spite)

1 day of "hard failure" + a couple hundred days of regret and longer vs 1 day of "neutral feeling" + forgetting it happened.

I still look back at the day I cheated on an assignment in middle school and had it stuck on my transcript. Somewhat haunts me in an annoying sense, but I'll constantly tell myself that every mistake I've done is what makes me "me".

Regret is "me", every mistake defines "me", how I dealt with it shaped "me". The you standing here today is the result of "all my past regrets and mistakes" to stop repeating them.

Yes, some people still can't get over pain (Like myself and my POS dad, ain't gonna forgive him for what he did). But I'll tell myself every day that "I don't want to be like that useless POS". From being broken, everyone has a choice to stay broken, or piece themselves in spite towards something.

Spite the event and "prove" that it was nothing but a few minutes.

4

Anxious-Seaweed t1_j70iapg wrote

A quote similar to this has actually helped me through so much of my anxiety. I forgot who said it some stage performer or a musician but someone asked them how they didn't get scared or nervous before a big performance and they said something along the lines of "I am anxious before every performance but it's not about not feeling anxiety, it's about being anxious and having the courage to do it anyways".

1

the_other_irrevenant t1_j70pv7m wrote

Replying to JMHSrowing (#1,708,111)

What is unfair is that you regret it because you have the wisdom you gained from passing through it.

You're smart enough not to make those mistakes, but past you didn't have your experience.

And you have your experience because past you did the best they could without having that experience to guide them.

2

Spartan8907 t1_j70q385 wrote

Because I know me better than anyone else?

1

[deleted] t1_j710cqn wrote

That's what I ask myself everyday. And I feel just so much confident.

1

SagariKatu t1_j71r85z wrote

I once read an interview with a pshychologist. He said that "anxiety is the logical part of the brain shutting down. You can't overcome that through logic".

For some reason, thinking of that makes it easier on myself. I still haven't found a way to battle anxiety itself. But I don't feel as bad with myself for having it. Baby steps, I guess.

2

Newheather1 t1_j71xuzz wrote

Replying to PlayHumankind (#1,709,455)

Look up Dr Nirala Jacobi Bi Phasic Low Histamine Diet. Look up Mast Cell Activation Syndrome. Turns out, at the cellular level, we show ourselves ways to repair. Starts with nourishment that heals. Not listening to ads or eating Other "Natural Flavors" WTF

3

StayBraveBeHeroic t1_j72n3ct wrote

Replying to JDBCool (#1,710,255)

The key there is that you said, "How I dealt with it." A lot of people can't even do that. They are paralyzed by it. You have great outlook in that you keep moving forward. That's amazing.

Your dad, that's big one to carry. I don't have that exact pain but a different kind of heavy Gorilla I carry around~(and I subscribe to the idea or preach, "I only have space for the good in my life at this time.")

But this helped me the other day,

Forgive yourself for having that dad, it's not your shame/anger? to carry around. Shame on him.

Find a picture of the little you and put it on your phone or near your computer. Remember him/her and give the love and self care talk that that kid deserved, instead of the memories that might pop up. Change how you spend that energy of hating your dad to healing that innocent kid. Re write the script for healing yourself.

"Give up hope for a better past"

You have now.

You deserve LOVE.

1