Sounds like you need to get out of there, fomenting disillusionment is not healthy. I wouldn't necessarily be comfortable signing a year long lease as a newbie that doesn't seem to have much support, but only so much you can do when some distance is that important to your mental health. I wouldn't worry too much about failing, it has happened to the best of us multiple times. Do be sure to budget visiting your mum often (I often had two months of groceries forced on me upon return and it was a net positive lol), but I doubt she would want you shackled and unable to grow as into your own person as a result of her decline. You literally can't be there all the time, and you are in the prime of your life mam. Your mom would want you to cut loose and keep moving forward as often as keeps you happy. No offense but screw what anyone else says.