Submitted by fhqwhgadsz t3_zqbh6q in Jokes
The woman asked the doctor about her baby.
Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl. They’re both fine. And, your brother named them for you.
Woman: No No No! Not my brother. He’s an idiot! What did he name the girl?
Doctor: Denise.
Woman: Ohh, that’s actually a nice name. What about the boy?
Doctor: Denephew.
Pussydaughter
Heh. Penisson
Your name tho what
Pussywillow and Richard
Lol let's keep this going and see how many times she can have twins during a coma
Hold on getting the copy paste ready
Mrs. Johnson was having her third set of twins: a boy and a girl.
Once again, she fell into a coma before delivery, so it fell to her sister this time name the newborns. Traditionally, that job would fall to the eldest, and her middle brother had stepped up later, but both had lost that privilege. When she finally came to, she saw her sister standing by her bedside, holding her children.
"What did you name the girl?" she asked.
"Dixie."
Okay, the mom thought, we ARE in Alabama, and yes, it’s a little non-PC these days, but I guess that will work with Dixon, reasonable name for her. And what is the boy’s name?"
"Dixer."
Hold on getting the copy paste ready
Mrs. Johnson was having her fourth set of twins: a boy and a girl.
Again, she fell into a coma before delivery, and it now fell to the younger sister to name the babies. Traditionally, that job would fall to the eldest, but two of her brothers and her oldest sister had already lost that privilege. When she finally came to, she saw her sister standing by her bedside, holding her children.
"What did you name the boy?" she asked.
"John”
Not quite what I expected to name my son, but it’s okay I guess. "And what is the girl's name?"
"John’t."
What about the third set?
Well.. the one above mine would’ve been the third set
But it says second so are they wrong or am i wrong?
Hang on I’m blind they got it wrong
The post itself is the first, the first comment in this thread is the second, the comment above mine is the third.
One of them should be Mason and Madaughter for when the dad actually gets to name the kids.
Yeah, got it wrong, I fixed it.
You mean third?
And we’ve jumped the shark
Made me 🤭
DOCTOR: Your sister decided to change her name, too.
WOMAN: Oh no! My sister is also an idiot. What did she change her name to?
DOCTOR: D'ante
Although her chilli is really good now.
D'ante's inferno
That lady's dumb; she's married to my uncle, who doesn't speak English, Tio.
Funny coincidence: an aunt is called "Tante" in german
Same in French
Maybe D'auntie? Your joke, just trying to improve the written delivery
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption.
One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him "Juan."
Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.
Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
imma be so annoying nitpicky here but i think Hamal works slightly better than Ahmal. If you pronounce Ahmal the american way it probably works but in arabic you really stress the H so it doesn’t sound at all like “‘em all”. Ha-mal / ‘em-all will rhyme nicely by Ah-mal and ‘em all won’t, the H is simply too powerful and pronounced
Could work better if the kid goes to india and named Amal.
the first time i heard this joke that was actually the exact name and situation
"ack-mal" vs. "a-MAL"
How to ruin a joke 😌
To be fair, I didn't get the joke till I read his comment specifically because of what he said. I was stressing the h in my head.
I had a version with triplets. The middle one was called Theodore
>‟My brother's an idiot”
I do not know exactly why but this part made me laugh
It's not funny if your brother's actually an idiot... Oh wait. Yes it is.
Never go full idiot
Wasn't the quote to never go full retard?
After a quick research: Yep, that's the one I thought of
And because somebody will probably ask: The movie is Tropic Thunder.
Have another Booty Sweat on me
This made me think of that question: what if iron man was remade with a black actor as the lead, who would play him… duh obviously RDJr
Asked and answered
NOW you tell me.
Youre not alone. I laughed out loud when I read it
I'm alone laughing at myself for not getting it
Wait. I'm the brother!
My brother is also an idiot
Hey, wait.. I’m going to tell mom!
Do you know where cousins come from? Ant holes.
Are the ant hole’s spouses Aardvarks, more commonly known as anteaters?
Ant hole eaters if they know what’s good for them
At least he didn't call them DaBaby
Haven't seen a Key & Peele joke here in awhile.
You done messed up, A-aron!
You want to go to war Bahlaki
This is my favourite line from the skit XD
I think mine is "You better get your ass down to Principal O-Shag-Hennessy"
“Insubordinate, and churlish.”
Just Aaron on the side of caution?
Churlish.
Denise and Denephew proceed to study in the inner city, with Jayqualyn, Balake, Ay Ay Ron, and Timowthee.
I can never not read Denise as De-Nice lmao
They ain't playin
this joke is at least 25 years old, since I remember reading it in Jingo, the 21st Discworld book. Published in 1997.
^^GNU ^^STP
Hah! Classic :D
Dafuck!
Dafoe, DeNiro.
Ah Number 33, a classic
It’s not defeat, it’s de hands!🤣
What did the Mexican fireman name his two sons?
José and Hose B
This sub really is just a treadmill of the same tired jokes over and over again...
Hey now, it’s Christmas. We should all be Denise to each other!
Merry chrysler
I think, in some of the British-speaking countries, they actually spell it, Denice, you know, like defense vs. defence?
*muhahahhharrr* 42! *har har har*
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Yup. When I saw this I said please God not this tired joke again…
Ahh memories. My mom’s name is Denise. My uncle (her brother) really loved to introduce us to people as “This is my sister, Denise. And de nephew.”
The doctor already named them. Ma-leigh and Fe-ma-leigh
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This joke makes me wonder if it's even possible for a woman to get pregnant, fall into a coma, have the babies still grow, give birth, and then wake up from the coma.
Yes it's entirely possible....there's been quite a few cases of this around the world....sadly (and disgustingly) it has often been women in PVS or MCS for many years having gotten mysteriously pregnant, sparking police investigations....
Damn that's crazy and fucked up. Going into a coma without kids then waking up with one.
What's PVS and MCS?
Sorry....Persistent Vegatative State. Minimally Concious State....
Oh, thanks
with this dad joking her brother might as well be the father too
Are you required to name the child immediately after birth?
I guess you usually have 30 days to do it… varies on State/Country…
I don't get it.
The niece and the nephew
Ah... ^^
😂😂😂😂😂
My grandfather used to tell a version of this joke over 30 years ago.
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Oldie, but goodie!
if they were named after her, what was the woman's name?
The brother named them for her, not after her. Big difference.
Yuuwaho t1_j0yhhws wrote
Hold on getting the copy paste ready
Mrs. Johnson was having her second set of twins: a boy and a girl.
Once again, she fell into a coma before delivery, so it fell to her younger brother to name the newborns. Traditionally, that job would fall to the eldest, but he had lost that privilege after naming her first set of twins Denise and Denephew. When she finally came to, she saw her brother standing by her bedside, holding her children.
"What did you name the boy?" she asked.
"Dixon."
Finally, she thought, a reasonable name for her son. "And what is the girl's name?"
"Dixoff."