A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after about 10 months

Submitted by fhqwhgadsz t3_zqbh6q in Jokes

The woman asked the doctor about her baby.

Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl. They’re both fine. And, your brother named them for you.

Woman: No No No! Not my brother. He’s an idiot! What did he name the girl?

Doctor: Denise.

Woman: Ohh, that’s actually a nice name. What about the boy?

Doctor: Denephew.

4,757

Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

potropanko t1_j0xavkr wrote

>‟My brother's an idiot”

I do not know exactly why but this part made me laugh

101

stayfast99 t1_j0xbhoj wrote

DOCTOR: Your sister decided to change her name, too.

WOMAN: Oh no! My sister is also an idiot. What did she change her name to?

DOCTOR: D'ante

472

Waitsfornoone t1_j0xk7lv wrote

Haven't seen a Key & Peele joke here in awhile.

24

Cpt_Copycat t1_j0y6c3u wrote

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption.

One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him "Juan."

Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.

Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

136

ConduckKing t1_j0y73j5 wrote

At least he didn't call them DaBaby

26

Yuuwaho t1_j0yhhws wrote

Hold on getting the copy paste ready

Mrs. Johnson was having her second set of twins: a boy and a girl.

Once again, she fell into a coma before delivery, so it fell to her younger brother to name the newborns. Traditionally, that job would fall to the eldest, but he had lost that privilege after naming her first set of twins Denise and Denephew. When she finally came to, she saw her brother standing by her bedside, holding her children.

"What did you name the boy?" she asked.

"Dixon."

Finally, she thought, a reasonable name for her son. "And what is the girl's name?"

"Dixoff."

1,030

Corrutped t1_j0yw374 wrote

What did the Mexican fireman name his two sons?

José and Hose B

3

SomeLightAssPlay t1_j0z3n53 wrote

Replying to Cpt_Copycat (#980,031)

imma be so annoying nitpicky here but i think Hamal works slightly better than Ahmal. If you pronounce Ahmal the american way it probably works but in arabic you really stress the H so it doesn’t sound at all like “‘em all”. Ha-mal / ‘em-all will rhyme nicely by Ah-mal and ‘em all won’t, the H is simply too powerful and pronounced

25

MisterB78 t1_j0z4stv wrote

This sub really is just a treadmill of the same tired jokes over and over again...

3

itsmeyourshoes t1_j0zcgvq wrote

Denise and Denephew proceed to study in the inner city, with Jayqualyn, Balake, Ay Ay Ron, and Timowthee.

24

Grizicus t1_j0zd31k wrote

Do you know where cousins come from? Ant holes.

52

Luked0g44O t1_j0zedlh wrote

It’s not defeat, it’s de hands!🤣

4

theblaggard t1_j0zmzat wrote

this joke is at least 25 years old, since I remember reading it in Jingo, the 21st Discworld book. Published in 1997.

^^GNU ^^STP

13

DAMMastr t1_j0zonwu wrote

Ah Number 33, a classic

7

Autisonm t1_j0zp5va wrote

This joke makes me wonder if it's even possible for a woman to get pregnant, fall into a coma, have the babies still grow, give birth, and then wake up from the coma.

1

ManyTraining6 t1_j0zrfa0 wrote

with this dad joking her brother might as well be the father too

1

FugaciousD t1_j0zuyrf wrote

Replying to ThetaStoleUrTendies (#983,128)

Hold on getting the copy paste ready

Mrs. Johnson was having her third set of twins: a boy and a girl.

Once again, she fell into a coma before delivery, so it fell to her sister this time name the newborns. Traditionally, that job would fall to the eldest, and her middle brother had stepped up later, but both had lost that privilege. When she finally came to, she saw her sister standing by her bedside, holding her children.

"What did you name the girl?" she asked.

"Dixie."

Okay, the mom thought, we ARE in Alabama, and yes, it’s a little non-PC these days, but I guess that will work with Dixon, reasonable name for her. And what is the boy’s name?"

"Dixer."

43

GateOfD t1_j0zvke4 wrote

if they were named after her, what was the woman's name?

0

berdandy t1_j1052x0 wrote

Ahh memories. My mom’s name is Denise. My uncle (her brother) really loved to introduce us to people as “This is my sister, Denise. And de nephew.”

2

STORMCADace t1_j107fc3 wrote

Replying to Autisonm (#983,874)

Yes it's entirely possible....there's been quite a few cases of this around the world....sadly (and disgustingly) it has often been women in PVS or MCS for many years having gotten mysteriously pregnant, sparking police investigations....

1

Pauldra1 t1_j10dnv1 wrote

😂😂😂😂😂

1

khobykhat t1_j10jm8h wrote

Replying to FugaciousD (#984,397)

Hold on getting the copy paste ready

Mrs. Johnson was having her fourth set of twins: a boy and a girl.

Again, she fell into a coma before delivery, and it now fell to the younger sister to name the babies. Traditionally, that job would fall to the eldest, but two of her brothers and her oldest sister had already lost that privilege. When she finally came to, she saw her sister standing by her bedside, holding her children.

"What did you name the boy?" she asked.

"John”

Not quite what I expected to name my son, but it’s okay I guess. "And what is the girl's name?"

"John’t."

38

ILuvPussyCatsAndTits t1_j10t2ny wrote

My grandfather used to tell a version of this joke over 30 years ago.

1

slgray16 t1_j114w27 wrote

The doctor already named them. Ma-leigh and Fe-ma-leigh

2