Submitted by fhqwhgadsz t3_zqbh6q in Jokes

The woman asked the doctor about her baby.

Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl. They’re both fine. And, your brother named them for you.

Woman: No No No! Not my brother. He’s an idiot! What did he name the girl?

Doctor: Denise.

Woman: Ohh, that’s actually a nice name. What about the boy?

Doctor: Denephew.

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Yuuwaho t1_j0yhhws wrote

Hold on getting the copy paste ready

Mrs. Johnson was having her second set of twins: a boy and a girl.

Once again, she fell into a coma before delivery, so it fell to her younger brother to name the newborns. Traditionally, that job would fall to the eldest, but he had lost that privilege after naming her first set of twins Denise and Denephew. When she finally came to, she saw her brother standing by her bedside, holding her children.

"What did you name the boy?" she asked.

"Dixon."

Finally, she thought, a reasonable name for her son. "And what is the girl's name?"

"Dixoff."

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ThetaStoleUrTendies t1_j0zfwdj wrote

Lol let's keep this going and see how many times she can have twins during a coma

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FugaciousD t1_j0zuyrf wrote

Hold on getting the copy paste ready

Mrs. Johnson was having her third set of twins: a boy and a girl.

Once again, she fell into a coma before delivery, so it fell to her sister this time name the newborns. Traditionally, that job would fall to the eldest, and her middle brother had stepped up later, but both had lost that privilege. When she finally came to, she saw her sister standing by her bedside, holding her children.

"What did you name the girl?" she asked.

"Dixie."

Okay, the mom thought, we ARE in Alabama, and yes, it’s a little non-PC these days, but I guess that will work with Dixon, reasonable name for her. And what is the boy’s name?"

"Dixer."

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khobykhat t1_j10jm8h wrote

Hold on getting the copy paste ready

Mrs. Johnson was having her fourth set of twins: a boy and a girl.

Again, she fell into a coma before delivery, and it now fell to the younger sister to name the babies. Traditionally, that job would fall to the eldest, but two of her brothers and her oldest sister had already lost that privilege. When she finally came to, she saw her sister standing by her bedside, holding her children.

"What did you name the boy?" she asked.

"John”

Not quite what I expected to name my son, but it’s okay I guess. "And what is the girl's name?"

"John’t."

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hmsboomattack t1_j10ml97 wrote

What about the third set?

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khobykhat t1_j10mqq6 wrote

Well.. the one above mine would’ve been the third set

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hmsboomattack t1_j10napw wrote

But it says second so are they wrong or am i wrong?

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khobykhat t1_j10nidm wrote

The post itself is the first, the first comment in this thread is the second, the comment above mine is the third.

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Yuuwaho t1_j139tnc wrote

One of them should be Mason and Madaughter for when the dad actually gets to name the kids.

3

stayfast99 t1_j0xbhoj wrote

DOCTOR: Your sister decided to change her name, too.

WOMAN: Oh no! My sister is also an idiot. What did she change her name to?

DOCTOR: D'ante

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ItzakPearlJam t1_j0xdgx6 wrote

That lady's dumb; she's married to my uncle, who doesn't speak English, Tio.

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unopoularopinion t1_j12ds3q wrote

Maybe D'auntie? Your joke, just trying to improve the written delivery

0

Cpt_Copycat t1_j0y6c3u wrote

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption.

One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him "Juan."

Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.

Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

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SomeLightAssPlay t1_j0z3n53 wrote

imma be so annoying nitpicky here but i think Hamal works slightly better than Ahmal. If you pronounce Ahmal the american way it probably works but in arabic you really stress the H so it doesn’t sound at all like “‘em all”. Ha-mal / ‘em-all will rhyme nicely by Ah-mal and ‘em all won’t, the H is simply too powerful and pronounced

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wingedbuttcrack t1_j0zcojn wrote

Could work better if the kid goes to india and named Amal.

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SomeLightAssPlay t1_j117at5 wrote

the first time i heard this joke that was actually the exact name and situation

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Ewetootwo t1_j0z6mjw wrote

How to ruin a joke 😌

−8

bleep_bliop_bloop t1_j0zg7aw wrote

To be fair, I didn't get the joke till I read his comment specifically because of what he said. I was stressing the h in my head.

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lemoinem t1_j0z1tg4 wrote

I had a version with triplets. The middle one was called Theodore

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potropanko t1_j0xavkr wrote

>‟My brother's an idiot”

I do not know exactly why but this part made me laugh

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2x4x92 t1_j0y6bvl wrote

It's not funny if your brother's actually an idiot... Oh wait. Yes it is.

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Tidesticky t1_j0yja3x wrote

Never go full idiot

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sane-writing t1_j0ylctl wrote

Wasn't the quote to never go full retard?

After a quick research: Yep, that's the one I thought of

And because somebody will probably ask: The movie is Tropic Thunder.

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Grizicus t1_j0zd31k wrote

Do you know where cousins come from? Ant holes.

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Luked0g44O t1_j0zmlrf wrote

Are the ant hole’s spouses Aardvarks, more commonly known as anteaters?

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Eguana84 t1_j0zukzt wrote

Ant hole eaters if they know what’s good for them

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ConduckKing t1_j0y73j5 wrote

At least he didn't call them DaBaby

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Waitsfornoone t1_j0xk7lv wrote

Haven't seen a Key & Peele joke here in awhile.

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ThaneOfCawdorrr t1_j0y4f75 wrote

You done messed up, A-aron!

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sinr_88 t1_j0yikhd wrote

You want to go to war Bahlaki

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itsmeyourshoes t1_j0zcgvq wrote

Denise and Denephew proceed to study in the inner city, with Jayqualyn, Balake, Ay Ay Ron, and Timowthee.

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theblaggard t1_j0zmzat wrote

this joke is at least 25 years old, since I remember reading it in Jingo, the 21st Discworld book. Published in 1997.

^^GNU ^^STP

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DAMMastr t1_j0zonwu wrote

Ah Number 33, a classic

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Luked0g44O t1_j0zedlh wrote

It’s not defeat, it’s de hands!🤣

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Corrutped t1_j0yw374 wrote

What did the Mexican fireman name his two sons?

José and Hose B

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MisterB78 t1_j0z4stv wrote

This sub really is just a treadmill of the same tired jokes over and over again...

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jeg-groans t1_j0z6nhd wrote

Hey now, it’s Christmas. We should all be Denise to each other!

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Luked0g44O t1_j0zm751 wrote

I think, in some of the British-speaking countries, they actually spell it, Denice, you know, like defense vs. defence?

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morgan423 t1_j0zm8gr wrote

Welcome to r/jokes. We hope you enjoy your visit.

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berdandy t1_j1052x0 wrote

Ahh memories. My mom’s name is Denise. My uncle (her brother) really loved to introduce us to people as “This is my sister, Denise. And de nephew.”

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slgray16 t1_j114w27 wrote

The doctor already named them. Ma-leigh and Fe-ma-leigh

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Autisonm t1_j0zp5va wrote

This joke makes me wonder if it's even possible for a woman to get pregnant, fall into a coma, have the babies still grow, give birth, and then wake up from the coma.

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STORMCADace t1_j107fc3 wrote

Yes it's entirely possible....there's been quite a few cases of this around the world....sadly (and disgustingly) it has often been women in PVS or MCS for many years having gotten mysteriously pregnant, sparking police investigations....

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Autisonm t1_j12arp3 wrote

Damn that's crazy and fucked up. Going into a coma without kids then waking up with one.

What's PVS and MCS?

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ManyTraining6 t1_j0zrfa0 wrote

with this dad joking her brother might as well be the father too

1

Environmental-Win836 t1_j0zsuwd wrote

Are you required to name the child immediately after birth?

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Caos1980 t1_j1ce9s9 wrote

I guess you usually have 30 days to do it… varies on State/Country…

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Pauldra1 t1_j10dnv1 wrote

😂😂😂😂😂

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ILuvPussyCatsAndTits t1_j10t2ny wrote

My grandfather used to tell a version of this joke over 30 years ago.

1

GateOfD t1_j0zvke4 wrote

if they were named after her, what was the woman's name?

0

adriennelisa t1_j0zzsqp wrote

The brother named them for her, not after her. Big difference.

3