Submitted by KarmicComic12334 t3_10byb1i in Jokes
I didn't get it, i was raised catholic. Our god tastes like cardboard and we still eat him.
Comments
Fryphax t1_j4f9r6v wrote
Bravo.
Bartnellie t1_j4fvxkr wrote
These PRETZELS are making ME thirsty
sevakmaheshr t1_j4d844j wrote
i don't get this: "god tastes like cardboard" !!??
JohnLef t1_j4da4am wrote
"Body of Christ", tasteless wafer.
[deleted] t1_j4dadyq wrote
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Mister_Man t1_j4eefyb wrote
If we don't sin, then Jesus died for nothing!
JohnLef t1_j4e38oe wrote
Praise sin, we have that thanks to God.
milkriver70 t1_j4dawir wrote
Now that's funny!
milkriver70 t1_j4danpw wrote
During a catholic mass, there is a ritual where all attendees take a sip of wine and eat a small, tasteless wafer, the wine is symbolic of the blood of Christ and the wafer is his flesh. The wafer is kinda cardboardy. Nothing weird here lol
TommyBoy825 t1_j4dvqom wrote
The wine and wafer are not symbols. They are the blood and body of Christ. It is the miracle of transubstantiation.
GrizzlyHerder t1_j4e5028 wrote
a close relative of cannibalism ????
milkriver70 t1_j4hhuvc wrote
Nonsense.
Yuukiko_ t1_j4dv4s9 wrote
soooo ritual cannibalism?
milkriver70 t1_j4dvxbe wrote
Well, no. Nobody's actually eating anyone. It's just a tiny little cracker.
foxtrotgd t1_j4emavi wrote
Pussy's y'all too scared to actually eat Jesus, lmao.
DieFlavourMouse t1_j4esvmq wrote
It'd be a bit gamey after this much time.
HarEmiya t1_j4f6hco wrote
By Catholic doctrine, it is not symbolism. The Eucharist offering literally becomes his body and blood through Transubstantiation.
So yes, cannibalism in their eyes.
milkriver70 t1_j4hg7v1 wrote
By catholic doctrine? Well, by my doctrine, it's utter bollocks. You're saying that wafers magically turn into holy human meat once eaten. Yeah, nah.
HarEmiya t1_j4hr8zp wrote
Sorry not just doctrine, it is catholic dogma. Established as doctrine by the Fourth Council of the Lateran in 1215, and in 1551 the Council of Trent declared it dogma. It is essential to the faith, but you don't have to be a catholic.
milkriver70 t1_j4i5tc5 wrote
I'm not sure why you're telling me any of this? I'm not in the slightest bit interested.
HarEmiya t1_j4k1amo wrote
I'm just explaining that, to catholics, yes it is cannibalism.
4dwarf t1_j4f6yg4 wrote
Tom Lehrer's Vatican Rag for you.
milkriver70 t1_j4hh1ju wrote
That was awesome :) cheers. I love Tom Lehrer too.
SpareMind t1_j4ufb9g wrote
I thought cannibalism is banned??
[deleted] t1_j4davpt wrote
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foxtrotgd t1_j4emd9t wrote
Jesus Christ: nails the competition!!
harabanaz t1_j4e0muz wrote
My body is a temple. I put sacred things in it.
GuairdeanBeatha t1_j4epc7v wrote
“Jesus is made out of crackers?” - South Park (I can’t remember which character)
Bartnellie t1_j4fw46s wrote
‘I can’t whistle if I eat crackers’ Butters
Shot-Spray5935 t1_j4dqkaj wrote
What's worse our God's blood tastes like rancid wine.
naraic- t1_j4g2svm wrote
Depends on the church.
I became a wine lover based on mass wine served at mass in school.
mammamia42069 t1_j4dyr5t wrote
Hindus dont worship cows as a god though whereas in transubstantiation we are to believe that wine and cardboard is literally jesus
withoutaaim t1_j4fipok wrote
That nailed it
Superjak45 t1_j4g0658 wrote
Holy cow.
[deleted] t1_j4f7j9n wrote
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Fryphax t1_j4f9t41 wrote
I think 'Our savior tastes like cardboard' would be better
Abides1948 t1_j4gsp8k wrote
Just because it tastes like cardboard doesnt make it any less cannibalism
SoupeGoate22 t1_j4guvdc wrote
Aren't you supposed to eat bread and wine? What sorta stale crap you been getting?
Disastrous_Call1705 t1_j4hcjml wrote
How was she with pork?
SuitableLow4128 t1_j4hkar7 wrote
It's grape juice not wine anymore.
KarmicComic12334 OP t1_j4hq1eq wrote
No it is wine. It may be new wine or watered wine but separating the alcohol from the grape squeezings is heresy to the catholics.
EnvironmentalDeal256 t1_j4eebe1 wrote
These pretzels are makin me thirsty.