Submitted by c0dyw0dy27 t3_10kbzh6 in Jokes
So unfortunately I stopped seeing her for a while.
Submitted by c0dyw0dy27 t3_10kbzh6 in Jokes
So unfortunately I stopped seeing her for a while.
[removed]
I've heard cornea jokes...
vitreous humor
Or aqueous humor?
acquiesced
You're laughing at someone for being visually impaired? You really think that's okay?
Well, it’s not like they’ll see it🤨
As he laughs and laughs…silently…and to himself.
I'm laughing at someone getting poked in the eye, where the hell did you get visual impairment from 🤦♂️
From the person laughing at the person who said they are blind.
Doesn't make sense haha
I would rather people laugh at me than not. At least then I know I’m normal. Don’t treat me any differently just because I can’t see it.
How'd you get here, Stevie?
My husband and I are also blind. I have prosthetic eyes, but he has real ones. One day we were really getting into sex, and things were heating up until I stuck my finger directly into the back of his eyesocket. And it was not long after we’d had the worst fight we have ever had. So it was really awkward and I spent an hour trying to reassure him that I really wasn’t actually trying to kill him. He was not happy.
Wait, what?
Ummmmm….
Just trying to help… you spelled bitch wrong in your profile name. Just looking out for you
You are very weird, but OK.
You finger eye sockets… let’s not be so quick to call others weird. Like why so deep? Are you jealous of his real eyes? I’m sorry if this is all %100 true and I’m being insensitive but like I’m pretty desensitized by the internet by now, and if it is true, apparently so are you😂
I didn't see that coming
I looked it up and I saw what you did there
[removed]
I once had a girlfriend who borrowed $100 from me. When we broke up 2 years later, she gave me the $100 back.
I lost interest in that relationship.
You did indeed haha
LOL!!! Good one!!
[removed]
Girlfriend asked me sensually "make me scream while using two fingers..." So i poked her in the eyes
She doesn't watch the Stooges? There's a block for that.
Nuck nuck nuck
Ah well she should watch out next time haha
And put her hand karate chop style in front of her nose?
Girlfriend asked me to "give her 6 inches and make it hurt.." so I fucked her twice and punched her in the head.
My girlfriend asked me to give her 12 inches and make her bleed. So I f@*ked her twice and punched her in the nose!
Haha this is ruthless. Was it like a hook, haymaker, or a straight jab?
Quick straight jab. I didn’t want to be an arsehole and knock her out
But knock her up you did, didn't ya? 😀
Bet you didn't see it coming
He didn’t see her cumming either.
No need to make it dirty now is there 🤣
No need to be a prude. Sex isn’t dirty.
Then you must not be doing it right.
I bathe beforehand.
Yeah we all had baths when we were kids. Show off.
😂😂 well this joke isn't even on the topic of sex or anything like that so the comment was highly unnecessary bud
It was pretty necessary actually
Ok then bud
?
Everyone on Reddit is horny and all they think about is sex
Not everyone
Enough people, then. Redditors are, as a rule, horny.
Not just redditors, reckon more on OnlyFans 😂😂
So, violence is O.K., but something normal is off the table? Your priorities are messed up, bud.
Well I'm just thinking if younger people on here
Reddits minimum age is 13, pretty sure 13 yr olds know about sex
Cone on bud, people lie about age it's quite easy
Well it clearly states that they should be 13+ to join reddit, if they dont follow that rule its on them if they hear about sex (which is pretty mild for reddit)
Ok
You also need to be at least 18 to visit pr0n sites. How many kids were going to them in high school before they were legal age
Yes and would you get annoyed if you saw something mentioning sex on pornhub?
Seeing sex mentioned on a reddit, no. There are plenty of subs that contain that material. Seeing sex mentioned on a joke that has nothing sexual about it? Yes.
>saw something mentioning sex on pornhub?
This is the intended audience, so it's fine. A comparison for this scenario would be you went to the grocery store to buy bread but someone was there trying to sell you sex toys. Time and place
But Wal-Mart does that anyways. They sell lube and sex toys.
So, teach them that physically harming someone is better than healthy sexuality is preferable.
Well they're going to learn about violence before learning about that
Only if one is given preeminence over the other. Mass shootings are normalized, but sex is “dirty”? What a a messed up society.
I have to agree there first but I'd rather teach my child about violence as that's more major. It's all dirty but bottom line is this joke has nothing to do with sex so let's not go down that route yeah
Never wrestle with a pig. You get disgusting, and the pig likes it.
Similar advice applies to this whole long thread.
Violence and sex are ok, as long as nobody says any naughty words.
We’ll, that’s entirely subjective. Parents who let their kids on REDDIT in the first place have already failed.
True, but I was also sorta quote Sheila from the South Park movie.
Has he ever?
There's a new air freshener which works with mind control...
...it makes scents when you think about it.
Indeed yeah
That was a mistake. So, why don’t you just turn a blind eye to her?
because then you’d be saying the word eye twice in the same sentence and it just doesn’t flow as well
I hope you looked both ways before telling this story.
It was supposed to be a blind date you idiot!
You should poke her face, pa poke her face!
You can't read it after that haha
Tell her to keep her bra on.
So i never let her wear that toy again.
Pink Eye :(
I don't get it mate haha sorry I'm so slow
I think it’s a pegging joke maybe.
Ah I get it now haha
poked him in the eye with the toy (strap-on)
It's 430 am I can't sleep I had my k9 pulled yesterday and needed this lauf.
Hope it made you feel slightly better. I wish you a very speedy recovery :)
It did
Well I'm glad, it's nice that people actually benefit from this Haha
My boyfriend poked me in the eyes, now I'm cock eyed.
😂😂😂😂
So now i don't see the future of our relationship 😅
[removed]
You might want to re-think only "for a while."
I would never see her again
Say it like Jimmy Carr
My girlfriend poked me in the eye
[pause] Last time I give her head (sour tone)
[pause] She’s getting snipped this weekend (upbeat)
I did Nazi that coming.
Hmmm very clever indeed haha
[removed]
I told you not to go down on her. I knew she had a dick
With her dick
Go n visit a doctor
He won't be able to see where he's going though :/
And I poked her in the ass. We are a cute couple of poker players.
The real joke here is saying they have a girlfriend
oh no unfortunately he stopped her i feel bad for him he must of liked it
Me after buying a walking stick: Look what you made me do
😂😂
You need to keep an eye out for this kind of thing…
You do indeed
But I eventually got over it and we're back on good terms... or should I say eye terms
Ayyyy nice addition :)
Love is blind ❤️
Beauty is in the eye socket of the beholder
And now for unknown reasons, definitely not related to me, people aren't able to find her body, I mean her.
[removed]
Third Eye Blind?
Sorry I don't get it
They are a musical group.
Ahhh I've never heard of them before now
You folks are twisted. I bet you remember the dead baby jokes
No idea what you're on about
But I overcame it finally, and now we're on good terms again—or should I say eye terms?
CHARLIE-MF-BROWN t1_j5pq0tz wrote
I'm blind so in my situation I just can't see this happening.