Polly wants a working girl

Submitted by CYOA_With_Hitler t3_10lnxwv in Jokes

So a woman walks into my church and she's like, 'Father, I got a problem. I got two parrots, but they're both female and all they know how to say is one thing.'

And I'm like, 'What do they say?'

And she gets all red in the face and she's like, 'They say "Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?"

I'm like, 'Oh, that's a real problem, that's not appropriate at all.'

So I think for a moment and I say, 'You know what? I got two parrots of my own, they're both male and they're very religious birds. We'll put them in the same cage, they'll teach your parrots to pray and read the Bible.'

And she's like, 'That's a great idea, thank you.'

So the next day she brings her parrots over to my house, and I show her my birds, Francis and Job, they're holding Rosary beads and praying. It's a beautiful sight. So she puts her parrots in the cage with mine, and we all wait for a miracle to happen.

And after a few minutes, both of her parrots go, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?'

And there's a moment of silence, and then one of my parrots, Francis, turns to the other and goes, 'Put the beads away, Job, our prayers have been answered!'

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Comments

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666pool t1_j5y2l9q wrote

Is the parrot’s name pronounced Job or job?

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No_Variety96 t1_j5y2rtb wrote

Job

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Vaanaram t1_j5z15cy wrote

I think its pronounced as Jobe.

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walflez9000 t1_j5zbl3d wrote

Yea, just like in Kobe

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Phobophilic t1_j5zh9zd wrote

So, this priest is a valley girl?

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Alone-Context-2259 t1_j5ygooi wrote

Job requests a beak job, Francis drops pantsis and says please insert these beads.

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zaltod t1_j5zudmw wrote

Alternate punchline

“We finally found a use for these beads”

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joeuser0123 t1_j5zzkyp wrote

I've heard this with a tagline where the priests parrots swear to imply they're no better than her birds: "Put the fucking beads away, Francis, our prayers have been answered!"

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punkfunkymonkey t1_j6039hq wrote

Sexually frustrated since her parrot was cramping her style by screaming 'someone's going to get it tonight...someone's going to get it tonight!' anytime she brought a man home so she went to the vet for advice.

"Your parrot is jealous" said the vet, " I'd suggest buying a second parrot so that your own parrots romantic needs are met. That should stop the outbursts!"

She left the vets and went directly to the pet store, explained the predicament and attempted to buy a second parrot.
"I'm sorry, we've only got a male parrot for sale I can get you a female one by next week!... too long to wait?... we'll lend you this female owl until the parrot arrives, hopefully that will keep your parrot distracted."

She took the owl home, sat it on the parrots perch, watched her parrot quietly stare at it and decided to go out on the town and hopefully bring back a man to a quiet house.

When she got back she quietly brought a man in, turned on the lights and was very happy that her parrot didn't scream out.

Until that is she kissed the man and all of a sudden the parrot screamed out "someone's going to get it tonight...someone's going to get it tonight!' at which the startled owl came to life flapped it's wings and screeched "t'whuu t'whuu'

The parrot stopped shouting, turned to the *owl and said "Not you, you big eyed ugly bitch!"

(Edit *doh)

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banjelina t1_j60s8o1 wrote

God I love parrot jokes. Thank you so much.

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sourkid25 t1_j61fya8 wrote

Polly wants your mommas sweet ass

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Hurtkopain t1_j60nbcb wrote

How r they gonna pay for the fun...bird seeds.

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the-boxxxx t1_j60gtjs wrote

Pretty sure this is a repost with the proper nouns changed…

https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/gqexpm/a_lady_approaches_a_priest_and_shyly_tells_him/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

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CYOA_With_Hitler OP t1_j60ihv5 wrote

This joke is from about 50+ years ago, there have been various iterations of it on reddit in the last 15 years, didn't say it was OC

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