punkfunkymonkey

punkfunkymonkey t1_j6039hq wrote

Sexually frustrated since her parrot was cramping her style by screaming 'someone's going to get it tonight...someone's going to get it tonight!' anytime she brought a man home so she went to the vet for advice.

"Your parrot is jealous" said the vet, " I'd suggest buying a second parrot so that your own parrots romantic needs are met. That should stop the outbursts!"

She left the vets and went directly to the pet store, explained the predicament and attempted to buy a second parrot.
"I'm sorry, we've only got a male parrot for sale I can get you a female one by next week!... too long to wait?... we'll lend you this female owl until the parrot arrives, hopefully that will keep your parrot distracted."

She took the owl home, sat it on the parrots perch, watched her parrot quietly stare at it and decided to go out on the town and hopefully bring back a man to a quiet house.

When she got back she quietly brought a man in, turned on the lights and was very happy that her parrot didn't scream out.

Until that is she kissed the man and all of a sudden the parrot screamed out "someone's going to get it tonight...someone's going to get it tonight!' at which the startled owl came to life flapped it's wings and screeched "t'whuu t'whuu'

The parrot stopped shouting, turned to the *owl and said "Not you, you big eyed ugly bitch!"

(Edit *doh)

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