newmama1991 OP t1_jbounkg wrote on March 10, 2023 at 4:19 PM

I recently was diagnosed with a medical condition and was subject of a lot of judgement. Being on the receiving end made me realise how horrible it feels. I really want to change my own behaviour and am wondering how.

I noticed that I myself am Quick to jump to judgment, even if I don't share it out loud. So how to I change my line of thought?

420Deez t1_jbowjan wrote on March 10, 2023 at 4:31 PM

judgment is normal. it can be advantageous, knowing how to read dangerous people before things happen. if you were oblivious to everyone, you wouldnt stay safe. if youre not acting on your judgment i dont see the problem. im always roasting people in my head “WHAT ARE THOSEEEE” but i dont say anything, i just go on about my day.

Jaded-Moose983 t1_jbp2eer wrote on March 10, 2023 at 5:09 PM

I agree with the comment that judging is normal. Every creature makes judgements about every situation it's in. Trying to completely turn that off might make a person more susceptible to risks.

I think it's more important to learn not to act on every little judgement that comes to mind.

newmama1991 OP t1_jbpbghm wrote on March 10, 2023 at 6:07 PM

Perhaps that's the nuance that I mean then 🤔 I feel like I judge negatively to quickly, without knowing the story or facts, for example. I'd like to keep a more open mind.

Jaded-Moose983 t1_jbqxqv4 wrote on March 11, 2023 at 12:45 AM

What I try to do is to find something to compliment. "What a beautiful blouse." "That tattoo is great, where'd you get it?" "What an awesome car!" That type of thing. It helps keep me thinking positively about people and I'd like for people to feel good about themselves if they interact with me.

BTW, your ability to express yourself is fantastic. I wonder if you are a writer.

newmama1991 OP t1_jbrm025 wrote on March 11, 2023 at 4:08 AM

Thanks so much! I am not a writer but my husband has complimented me on it before. I'm not sure why, haha. English is not my first language.

Your tip is wonderful and a great exercise to try. In combination with not responding on your first thought. I have ADHD so it can be difficult sometimes.

newmama1991 OP t1_jbpbv93 wrote on March 10, 2023 at 6:09 PM

Your response made me realise I mean I don't want to jump to negative conclusions to quickly, perhaps. I stead of just judging.