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BreakfastBeerz t1_j9mpj3z wrote

One of the main responsibilities of being a father is to eat the heels of the bread. I didn't sign up for this job, but it is mine.

409

areyouseriousdotard t1_j9o0pz5 wrote

Heels are the best part.

45

insanok t1_j9o6jk9 wrote

The transition to being a father starts with enjoying bad (dad) jokes, progresses to enjoying the heels of bread, and results in blue jeans and fresh white new balances

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areyouseriousdotard t1_j9o9l9b wrote

My new balances are still black. Very close, tho.

3

insanok t1_j9o9orj wrote

Black NB are only for weddings.

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areyouseriousdotard t1_j9o9w6b wrote

Well, I'm wearing Saucony's right now. I'm a male nurse. I don't wear white shows because they show stains.

1

Origonn t1_j9nybg2 wrote

It ain't much, but it's honest work.

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dadof2as t1_j9oqhvd wrote

Grilled cheese cut into shapes....who gets the scraps, mmm, damn straight dad will take those!

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CosmicTurtle504 t1_j9oz6oe wrote

All the bits that arenā€™t dinosaur-shaped are straight dad fuel in this house.

5

EzMcSwez t1_j9o1ozx wrote

Then you go to grab the bread and find they've been pushing the heel down the side of the bag and you get to the end and have a double heel sandwich...

I'm passed out on the ground for all the work my jaw is doing.

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RaB1can t1_j9o378r wrote

You always push the heel down as it helps prevent mold, then you have a double heelix ending šŸ¤˜

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Didu93 t1_j9o4y9b wrote

Thats the best part of the bread. The fresher it is the better. My food fantasy is to eat all the bread crust and leave it like that. A bread freshly made from bakery that crunches and omg its so delicious

3

tezoatlipoca t1_j9mawa1 wrote

lol. My kids would have spotted this ruse a mile away. I only barely got away with shredded veggies in the spaghetti sauce.

The one exception would be for grilled cheese (with process cheese slices), cause no one turns down a grilled cheese sandwich. It could be process cheese grilled between two roofing shingles and they'd eat it.

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whiskeyjane45 t1_j9n75c6 wrote

I steam veggies, puree them, and put them in ice cube trays for the baby to eat.

When my first was a baby, I tried throwing in a couple of cubes into the tomato sauce. Carrots were the winner. Makes it a little sweeter, but absolutely not noticeable. Spinach and kale were good too, just looked like more basil and oregano than usual

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Yeangster t1_j9ngpk7 wrote

A traditional Ragu Bolognese has a good amount of blended carrot and celery

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Chickentoaster1 t1_j9nsr1c wrote

If you'd blend it down to purree the Italians would probably sentence you to pizza Hawaii

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MasterUnholyWar t1_j9p9hv0 wrote

Yeah, I was gonna say OP must have a doofus of a kid, because this shit never slipped by me - the average kid can spot the ends of the loaf from a mile away.

4

OMFGFlorida t1_j9o6vjd wrote

My kids don't like grilled cheese or quesadillas. Am sad.

3

ElectroFlannelGore t1_j9mhcje wrote

Heel inside grilled cheese gang rise up

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bob0979 t1_j9n2pno wrote

Why? I'm not accusing, I simply want your secrets.

10

McWhiffersonMcgee t1_j9mll9h wrote

Excuse me, it's called the BUTT of the bread, my kids will tell you, and one of them loves this part.

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incasesheisonheretoo t1_j9myj5o wrote

Theyā€™re called ā€œdadā€™s slicesā€ in my house. Somehow they mysteriously only get used on sandwiches that are made for me to eat.

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TheMrDrB t1_j9qx1rc wrote

It's because Mom always told us to leave the butt to keep the loaf freshener. She just didn't want the butt on her sandwich lol

1

follothru t1_j9n9w0w wrote

The first 2 and last 2 slices of bread become French toast or croutons. I can't have many carbs, I'm not wasting the experience on subpar pieces for my sandwich!

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SilverDart997 t1_j9p5oce wrote

Definitely a bread butt.

I never thought eating the bread butt was a chore, but I've always liked bread so maybe that plays into it lol

2

AtlasClone t1_j9mvpr5 wrote

I feel like a kid gotta be pretty damn stupid to fall for this.

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Insocyad t1_j9p7iy4 wrote

People just have no confidence in their offspring anymore...

5

ncopland t1_j9mggma wrote

Train them that it's the lucky person that gets the heal. They're extra good!

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Beazore t1_j9ql1m0 wrote

My dad always told me that the crust is the most nutritious part, so I had to eat it. Somehow I did not realise I had been duped until I started watching the Great British Baking Show as an adult. I was just walking around in my adult (childless) life thinking that crust is more nutritious than the rest of the bread.

3

CheckOutUserNamesLad t1_j9mwf12 wrote

LPT: Be honest with your kids and teach them responsibility. Even if they don't like the end piece as much, they should learn that it's right to eat it anyway.

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DirtyPrancing65 t1_j9tqeeh wrote

It is important to choose your battles but this is also important too. Can't let them think they're always getting their way or they'll expect that, even as they get smarter

2

Yeangster t1_j9nh4vu wrote

Why? We live in a world of material abundance where the bigger problem is eating too much food rather than not enough. Why force them to eat food that both unappetizing and not particularly nutritious?

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CheckOutUserNamesLad t1_j9njiu6 wrote

Not everyone has access to the abundance you're talking about, and that abundance isn't guaranteed to last forever. Food waste contributes to the overall demand for agriculture and its side effects, including carbon emissions, water usage, and destruction of natural habitats. I'm not going to pretend that the ends of the bread make that much of a difference, but an attitude of using what you need and not wasting things unnecessarily has many benefits.

Eating the end piece doesn't mean you have to overeat, just that you don't need as many loaves. The end pieces having a higher fiber content may even keep you full longer, leading to eating less through the rest of the day, helping you with your goal of consuming less total calories.

I don't suggest forcing kids to eat anything in particular, as long as the overall food picture is healthy. And if the kid wants to eat bread, they should have to eat the crust, including the occasional end piece.

Not all bread is created equal. Some breads are quite nutritious, and the crust tends to have more nutritional value than the rest of the bread.

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Yeangster t1_j9o4zgt wrote

It literally everyone, but in America, close enough that no one has to eat the ass of a wonderbread loaf. Cultural attitudes teaching children to always finish whatā€™s on their plates is an artifact and causing more problems than itā€™s helping.

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CheckOutUserNamesLad t1_j9ohk2s wrote

You seem to think that "using all of the loaf" means "forcing larger portions onto children."

But the sandwich is the same size whether I make it with end pieces or not.

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pandorascannabox t1_j9ms9ka wrote

Excuse me, but thats the hot dog bun bonus bread only 2 come in each loaf why would you waste it on sandwiches??!!

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LopsidedAd1780 t1_j9nk3ie wrote

But wait there's more!! 2 Bonus Bread!! Just pay for shipping and handling!!

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Grievingmoss t1_j9o3kjw wrote

In all my life Iā€™ve never heard it called the ā€œheelā€ of the bread. In Australia (at least in FNQ) we always called that the ā€œcrustā€. Whilst my partner hates it, the crust was the most coveted piece growing up because it never really counted as a ā€œsliceā€

ā€œWho ate all the bread!ā€ ā€œNah I only had 1 piece and the crustsā€ ā€œThatā€™s okay, which Motherfucker ate the bread then!ā€

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Pholderz t1_j9mb831 wrote

This also works with French Toast. Just serve it on the plate with the heel side down.

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Mindestiny t1_j9mpobx wrote

How is "tell your kids petty lies" an LPT? Like they're not going to go to eat it and realize they got the shitty slice of bread and then they won't know who made the sandwich?

Just give them the fucking piece of bread and say if they don't like it they can make their own sandwich.

4

Madusa0048 t1_j9nqkkq wrote

As someone who's parents did this, your kid will notice

4

chipsnqueso420 t1_j9nwg8a wrote

Or just teach your kids to not be little bitches and just eat the heel. It literally tastes the same as the rest of the bread. However if you've tried this and the kids are resisting this is a great way to trick them

4

noivad t1_j9sqzij wrote

This is what I was thinking. Teach them they canā€™t have it their way, & theyā€™ll get through life better for it.

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DryEyes4096 t1_j9oahih wrote

Is this a troll? One of my first memories about bread as a kid was how much the heel sucked. I eat them now, but any kid would notice they're eating a heel.

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jessiyjazzy123 t1_j9myphx wrote

My kid would, and absolutely has, called me out on this.

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aldhibain t1_j9ngsn3 wrote

Where I am they slice the heel much thinner than the rest of the slices because it's widely-accepted that the heel is generally not wanted.

3

bendar1347 t1_j9q0a5a wrote

This is most commercially produced sliced bread where I live too. Its cut so thin its worthless for anything but bread crumbs imo. But seriously, just dry/toast it and throw it in the food processor. EZPZ bread crumbs. Waste is a thief

1

Storyteller678 t1_j9nhks1 wrote

That was always my favorite part of bread. I like the end cuts from meatloaf too.

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yogibear99 t1_j9o5yp2 wrote

TIL itā€™s called a heel

3

Several-Cake1954 t1_j9mwtyc wrote

I think it would be pretty noticeable. The sandwich would have a different bread/contents ratio, or taste more ā€œbreadyā€. I probably would have noticed.

Did you know this from experience?

2

keepthetips t1_j9madv7 wrote

Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips!

Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment.

If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.

1

Bierbart12 t1_j9mhskj wrote

Those were always my favourite part of the bread and I often refused to eat any other part

Such crispyness

1

StarGazinWade t1_j9n1k0d wrote

Shit, I do this to trick myself into eating a sammich with the heel šŸ¤·ā€ā™‚ļø

1

Sweaty_Assignment_90 t1_j9n8iei wrote

I try that, but usually take a bread knife and cut the heel face off and place that on the inside.

1

fellofftheslide t1_j9n9w3g wrote

Especially good tip if you are making grilled cheese.

1

TourmalineTart t1_j9nnouc wrote

Hey, mom, is that you??

We noticed every time you did this!

1

Emotional-Ebb8321 t1_j9np69f wrote

Better lpt make a big deal about that being the best bit and rush to eat it first. They'll be fighting you for it before you know what happened

1

GalenaGalena t1_j9nt9jm wrote

The heel is supposed to be toasted because it curls slightly and holds more melty PB&J. šŸ˜‹

1

FalloutNano t1_j9nuy6g wrote

Or, just tell them to eat it anyway.

1

MembershipFederal789 t1_j9o1iph wrote

You monster! How come I haven't thought of this! Time to try it on my gf! Lmao

1

nuxeretes t1_j9o45nl wrote

What about showing them that the heels are the best part?

1

StringsOfDelusion t1_j9o4tap wrote

This is some absolute bullsiht. My kid would never eat a sandwich like that. Doesnā€™t matter though because I horde the heels of bread for myself.

1

10_Virtues t1_j9o7cgu wrote

This is how you end up with adult children that never call or visit.

1

noivad t1_j9sr5we wrote

They wonā€™t have to because theyā€™re still living at home.

0

Organic_Pangolin_691 t1_j9o7epf wrote

Yes they will because kids are not blind. Also the texture is literally different. They will notice.

1

Tag_Ping_Pong t1_j9o94b8 wrote

Yup, I do that too myself to appease my inner kid. Bonus if it's a toasted sandwich, because then it gets lightly squished and there's no way to notice it's a crust!

1

Minionherder t1_j9ogtg2 wrote

What the everliving turnip is a Heel, do you mean the crust?

1

Punbungler t1_j9p19ip wrote

Haha kids.

I bought the wrong pepperoni and the boy wouldn't eat it because he "doesn't like honey garlic".

I put them in the fridge and grabbed them back out and gave him one. Delicious....

Like fuck man. I know what you like, you don't. Leave my spicy pepperoni alone you cried last time.

1

needmorehardware t1_j9p2gv5 wrote

Are your children morons? It's like when my Mum tried to sneak Swede into the mashed potatoes - it was literally bright yellow/orange

1

Hexhand t1_j9p4key wrote

I'd know. And I'd put that parent into a shite retirement home. lol

1

qnachowoman t1_j9p4po2 wrote

What kind of monster flips the bread around and acts like itā€™s not the ends?

1

saline235 t1_j9p731e wrote

Look at Mr. Moneybags here making sandwiches with multiple layers.

1

jayhawk8 t1_j9p7fof wrote

You just blew my mind

1

Empire2k5 t1_j9pgedj wrote

Why does your bread have heels? Think that's a more important question.

1

GurnoorDa1 t1_j9pj8jp wrote

Or just... give the heels and treat it like normal...?

1

MyNameisRawb t1_j9pks5z wrote

Use the heels as thin hot dog rolls. It'll give those hot dogs a higher wall than regular buns, allowing for more toppings, like onions, relish, chili, of cheese.

1

MayngohKeywix t1_j9pljd1 wrote

Welcome to DadProTips. We've covered bread heels and dad wear, next week we'll approach tool storage and what to do when the kids use your screwdriver.

1

noivad t1_j9srhfw wrote

Well, when they use your tools & fail to out them back, you banish them to bread end purgatory until either they put them back or they move out ā€¦

1

dramignophyte t1_j9pod9t wrote

You uh may wanna get your kids checked. Maybe they need glasses? Or some directed supervised learning? Not to be mean, but I'll be mean: any kid not noticing that is slow or blind.

MOST children will notice if they have a sliver of crust left after you cut the crust off. Or I've had tons of kids refuse to eat an ice cream they bought because the eyes were wonky.

1

ffenix1 t1_j9pqhp7 wrote

Whqt type of ignorant blind kids are you 'breeading'?

1

TrinityJeevas t1_j9q7120 wrote

My mom would call them the lucky crusts and I fell for it. They are only lucky if they are eaten last, so I had many end of the loaf sandwiches growing up. I don't think it made me more lucky though

1

mrmrmrj t1_j9qcvu3 wrote

This is how my wife got me to eat heels...

1

Shizeman t1_j9qex57 wrote

I learned this from a co-worker back before I had kids. The secret here is you tell the kids from a young age that the ends of the loaf of bread are lucky. They will be fighting for them. My son gets mad if he doesn't get the lucky piece. This will buy you time before you need to use the OP tip

1

Peakswashere t1_j9qo78a wrote

I just ate the heels when I was a kid and it wasnā€™t a big deal.

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chickashady t1_j9qyqbi wrote

You are Satan, my mom did this and I noticed every time

1

Marine__0311 t1_j9qzr2e wrote

LOL, when my boys were little, I told them they couldn't have the heel, it was for grown ups only. That made them want it even more. I would finally relent, and let them have one, but only if they were good.

They would actually argue over who deserved the heel. I had to alternate who got it, and I always kept the first one for myself. I can't believe it worked as well as it did.

1

LunaAndromeda t1_j9r4kx7 wrote

I was the weird kid who loved the crusts and heels best. Chewy and more flavorful! But back on topic, kids do know the difference once they chomp down because it doesn't just turn to mush, and you have to chew it a bit more. And that's fine by me! Gimme them heels!

1

amnotreallyjb t1_j9rhpt0 wrote

The crust is the best part of bread, heel has the highest amount of crust ratio. Teach them to enjoy good bread.

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westberry82 t1_j9mar6y wrote

Yeah. Kids are pretty dumb.

0

Grand_Armadillo t1_j9mawah wrote

Huh. My kids like the ā€œheelsā€!

0

danpluso t1_j9niwct wrote

LPT: Buy enough bread so you don't have to use shitty heels in your sandwhich.

0

NewResponsibility163 t1_j9ph5vt wrote

The heel of the bread, otherwise known as the yuck. Is the period at the end of the scentence, it is a dead-end, its a disconnect tone when someone hangs up. It's the flat line of food.

And a horrible, horrible lie.

And maybe just tell them Santa isn't real as soon as they learn to talk. That's disappointing, too.

Tell them they're adopted even if they're not, another suitable lie.

A peanut butter sandwich can gain you a lifetime of trust. But the heel of the bread might loose it forever.

Don't risk it.

0

[deleted] t1_j9mbwn4 wrote

[deleted]

−7

motoperpetuoso OP t1_j9mcprx wrote

Don't tell me how to raise my kids! I'm going to raise them through lies and deceit to ensure that they become honest, productive members of society

8

dielectricjuice t1_j9mc5yj wrote

If only children worked that way

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fiddlenutz t1_j9mdyaa wrote

Spoiled children donā€™t work that way. Stop treating kids like they are little Princes and Princesses. My kids arenā€™t perfect, but theyā€™ll eat a bread heel if they are hungry. Brussels Sprouts are an entirely different thingā€¦.

−3