iceynyo t1_iuhujc2 wrote
Reply to comment by oldbastardbob in Someone still remembers you as an asshole for something you probably don't even remember doing. by lucius789
The problem is when people hang on to bad memories... Nothing wrong with reminiscing about the positive stuff. Also nothing wrong with remembering the bad stuff as a lesson, as long as it's not making you sad all the time.
VigorousFroth t1_iuhweef wrote
Yep, balance is key. Things usually arent as 0% or 100% as Reddit makes it seem. There's nuance to things.
If someone dies its traumatic, yes. but reminiscing with fam and friends about happy times can ease the pain and loneliness you feel after losing someone.
Still hurts, but you don't risk bottling everything up and reaching a point of despair.
Of course it varies from person to person how they handle trauma and the type of trauma inflicted varies, but there's always a way to ease the effects even if it doesn't seem like it in the heat of the moment.
Skydude252 t1_iuhx27l wrote
Reminiscing about positive stuff can be bad too, past a point. It can be nice to briefly connect with good things that happen, smile remembering them and such. If you become stuck in the past, though, it can keep you from improving your current life. It’s the kind of thing that keeps people stuck in a mindset of a high school athlete when that was the highlight of their life.
iceynyo t1_iuhz0ng wrote
Yeah that's true... that's basically turning a good memory from the past into a negative emotion in the present.
But yeah anything that keeps you living in the past for any reason would be bad. Unless you've invented time travel I guess.
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