Yep, balance is key. Things usually arent as 0% or 100% as Reddit makes it seem. There's nuance to things.

If someone dies its traumatic, yes. but reminiscing with fam and friends about happy times can ease the pain and loneliness you feel after losing someone.

Still hurts, but you don't risk bottling everything up and reaching a point of despair.

Of course it varies from person to person how they handle trauma and the type of trauma inflicted varies, but there's always a way to ease the effects even if it doesn't seem like it in the heat of the moment.