Hey Bay!

Oh wow, and you're back with another spooky tale. And one with a bittersweet ending too! I loved so many lines in this, the descriptions are definitely where it shines, I think.

> Their glare pierces through the layers of fabric, disapproval chilling me to the bone.

Like this for instance. Really sets up the ending twist and what you have coming.

> My insides shrivel up like dead worms on the sidewalk,

And I've mentioned this one before, but this one stood out the most to me. Really wonderful job there.

As for the ending, I have to say I quite liked the way you took it. The monster definitely felt a bit abrupt, unexplained. And I imagine that was intentional as well as because of wordcount. So this twist, making the story about this character and Jack was a great way of resolving the piece.

Very very well done!

I do just have a few bits and bobs for you,

Just noticing these now. It's not much, minor edits really.

> “It’s not safe, he’ll make…pay.”

I think you could do away with "pay" here. I know you have the theme of a 'price' for being able to talk to the dead. But with this, it makes me wonder how Jack knows about it. Makes sense that he'd know about the monster, but would he know specifics? Just a thought though.

> “Who? What about the others who came—”

Not a critique, just a question. Who is she talking about here? Previous investigators?

> Flames ignite from its hands.

Something like "Flames dance in his hands." may be better here. But that's also a commonly used personification. So go with either.

I hope this helps.

Good Words!