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Orcs. A belligerent race predominantly carnivore whose most infamous activity is raiding human settlements for the food stores when winter or drought strikes. They were strong, few humans could battle them head on. But they had to be careful with the looting, too much and a powerful party would be called to eliminate them.

Angorod was the third son of the chieftain, growing up he was fed with human supplies. The soup was much better than a simple roasted deer leg, the cheese melted in his mouth, and the wine brought a pleasant fuzz over his body. He was taken by the ambition to craft more of these delicious treats, and perhaps create new recipes.

Once it was time for his Trailcrush, a journey to prove he was an adult, he was resolute in his goal to become the first refined chef in his tribe. Angorod had learned a few human words, and hoped it would help convey his desire. Armed with a pack, clothing for every terrain, and his trusty machete, he set off down the ravine.

It failed. Every adventurer band he met was hostile, despite him putting away his blade and trying to reason with them. He was currently running from a squad intent on skinning him, apparently his tattooed skin and red tusks were very coveted. His mad dash had him trip into a faceplant in a clearing, and looking back revealed that the humans were held back by some invisible barrier.

A woman was reading a book by a chalet when she spotted the poor bastard. A few waves had the orc strung up in the air defenseless. "What do you want?" Margot had a fireball ready to roast his family jewels. "Teach! I want learn!" The spell was snuffed and the woman had an appraising look.

"What is your goal? Your mana is too weak for casting, your only saving grace is muscles." Her eyes were like a Carmine Rattlesnake, which had him trembling in his sandals. "Food. Cook. Please." She giggled at his sad look, it was the first time she saw something so cute in months. "Now I understand why he adopted that kid."

===

Angorod began learning under the witch, both cuisine and language. "Depending on your performance, I might teach more." She taught him how to test plants and mushrooms for bad reactions, which proved vital when a dab of macerated mint made his hand swell double its size. "So even orcs have allergies. Be careful, anaphylaxis can lead to a fast death."

The woman was stricter than his pops when it came to learning. She had him pick up herbs all day long, from steep cliffs and deep in dangerous beast nests. Then he would spend his nights identifying his haul. Then he was kicked into a mine to dig minerals, then identify his load. Rinse and repeat.

While the witch did teach him the basics of cuisine, she was also drilling him about the ingredients he could find in the future. "I have no interest in experimenting with food. But it would be a damn shame if you died to a destroying angel." Well, he supposed that potioncraft was close enough to cooking to start his knowledge pool.

"Drink this." Margot offered a bottle with swirling multicolor sparkles. "Drink...?" Angorod was suspicious, it resembled the potions she forbid him from touching. "Brat, if I wanted to kill you, you would be bones by now." She snapped her fingers, dropping the liquid straight in his stomach.

He collapsed in a fetal posture, his blood felt like it was boiling. "Rejoice~ You're my first official apprentice!" The potion was supposed to strengthen his core, enabling him to access alchemy and healing spells.

===

Training with Margot was difficult and torturous. The time taken perhaps had convinced his tribe he died during the journey. But no, he was treading a different path from his brothers. He wasn't a berserker or a walking bastion. No, he wasn't a combatant at all, but that was fine.

He was in the first stage to become a true chef, and there was much to learn about culinary and the wealth of ingredients in this world. Angorod had a new goal, to write a recipe book about everything he hunted, from every continent he'd explore, like the sea serpent he was facing right now.

The Skyrim Gourmet's origin story

Please, my dear writer, may we have some more?

You know the drill, prompt for stories.

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I started experimenting in my cave, mixing different ingredients together to create something new. At first, I was just throwing ingredients together, but soon I was able to create dishes that tasted almost as good as the humans. I was even able to teach some of the other orcs how to cook.

However, my success came with a price. The other orcs started to resent me, wishing that I would go back to raiding, or even worse, that I would leave the group altogether. One night, as I was cooking, I heard a ruckus outside my cave. A group of orcs had come to kill me for my betrayal.

I quickly grabbed my knife and hid, scared for my life. I heard them searching for me, but I was able to remain hidden until they eventually gave up and went away. When I finally emerged from my hiding spot, I was horrified to discover that they had stolen all of my ingredients and left me with nothing.

The other orcs had taken away my only hope of creating delicious food. I was left with nothing but a bitter taste in my mouth. I was no longer an orc chef, only an orc who had failed.

Me Ugg, two g's. No forget. You tired of going after them hoommies and being stabbed at just for a bit of a snack? Well, what if Ugg tell yous there's better ways?

Me intru..untro... Me shows yous how you toos can be hecking good at this food thing!

Me was once like yous, getting hungry, not had good meal in ages. But after me stops raidin' hoomies and watchin' 'em instead, me learn dem secrets!

Dat's right boys! You could be havin' yous own yums, and no more losing yer best limbs! Me teach how to burn your steak just right, and hows to turn that moss between your toes into tasty stew!

All for da low price of 29 gold and 99 silver a moon. Wow! Me can't believe you be learning to eat good at such affordable price!

Late night orc infomercials!

More parts please! Great read so far

The adventurer guild was going through a conundrum. Some of the more generous donations followed subjugation of dangerous creatures, the remodel of the main headquarters was funded by a wyvern swarm last month. But now, the high-profile targets were vanishing at an unprecedented rate!

Sure, sometimes a dragon in the area would get there before them, but they usually got the carcass to fake the achievement. "Sand Dragons are a pest..." Atticus was determined to discover who was getting on their way, the guild had a reputation to uphold and donations to earn.

"Hmm, I will issue an alert, we have to investigate this sabotage."

===

Angorod grinned while petting his rooster mount, today they would feast on Basilisk! The snake body flicked a tongue and the bird tail got antsy for the hunt. He drank a potion and tied a blindfold. "Let's go, Tweety!" He drew his spear and spurred his ride. -Ba-cawk!-

He trusted Tweety with his life, counting the seconds until the rooster reaches the basilisk. His grip on the the staff was adjusted, the monster had powerful scales, so he had to aim for the gap, and the closest one was the eyes. "I'll have to miss out on one eyeball..."

Skewered balls were delicious with pink salt, so he would savor the remaining eye. A tap on the shoulder was the signal, he got ready to impale his prey. When Tweety crowed, Angorod jumped off and aimed his weapon.

He left the poison sacs and the riskier organs for his ride while dismantling the carcass to put away in his storage. Yum, offal with spice, roast tail with sauce, fillet with wine, what should he whip up today? "Meat~ Roast it, grill it, put in a stew~"

He could make soup with the bones and barter for ingredients with the hide. The dwarves promised good pay and some recipes if he managed to bring an intact crown comb. He saw Tweety's hungry look and quickly carved out the part. How dangerous.

===

Guierre led his team into the basilisk territory, wary of ambushes. It was an important source of alchemical components, and too expensive to buy from breeders. "Strange, we set up fireworks and left bait, but it isn't reacting..." Had it already migrated?

The adventurer party found an orc and a cockatrice feeding on the dead basilisk. The warrior got furious and dashed at the culprit, sword on hand ready to fight. He got parried with a bone staff. "Easy there, I'm not an enemy." The orc knew their language?

Angorod pulled out a medallion from his satchel, making the leader almost faint at its meaning. "She told me it would keep me safe..." He was a treasured associate of Margot, and the item would alert the witch if the orc died.

Between an angry guild master and a furious sorceress, Guierre would take his chances with the human. "The Apocalypse Hag... How did they meet?" He sighed, no use in chasing after hypotheticals. "Retreat, it's too risky to fight him."

Oh please do more. This is exceptional

Orcs were known for banding together with dangerous creatures like wolf packs. Angorod envied his brother Skagra, his giant bear went well with the berserker, both could wipe a human army by themselves. The second brother, Thresher, had raised a baby mammoth to serve as a moving fortress for the vulnerable tribespeople.

"I want a pet too." And that's how he got Tweety.

How does one tame a cockatrice, you ask? Angorod was lucky that Margot taught him familiar binding, and that Tweety was a newborn when he did so. These ferocious creatures were the bane of many rookies, with a chicken head on front and a snake head behind, they had no blindside.

The snake had potent venom and could apply temporary paralysis with its magic eyes, buffed by the poisoned spurs of the chicken that lengthened the numbness and had hemolytic agents. Plus, inexperienced hunters aimed at the bird, but the snake tail was the true body.

Angorod had used arrows to kill a lone hen and gathered the eggs for later. Tweety had just pipped his egg and evaded becoming omelette. The fluffy chick and teeny snake endeared the orc, despite freezing his body out of instinct for several minutes.

The rooster grew quickly and turned into a fast ride for the orc. Although the gluttonous little shit had gobbled some of his ingredients. Hmm, should he look into taming a water creature, or a true flying beast? Time to plan his next hunts to try and find a baby monster to tame...