Submitted by Informal_Ad_6157 t3_z76hqs in WritingPrompts
Houki01 t1_iy5ybtr wrote
That's it. That is, finally, it, I decided, as I stomped my way out of the hospital. Felicity was going to be in traction for six weeks. David's gunshot wound would heal cleanly but ICU trauma was a thing. And Ricky, dammit, what they'd done to Ricky was downright criminal.
It's all right to play with me, but when you get civilians involved, that's it. Time to take the gloves off. You wanna play, kids? Then let's play.
It took a week to set up. But justice isn't fast.
Sabotaging Silver Saint's Tesla was child's play. Finding a way to program in a route that wouldn't take out innocent bystanders took a couple of hours, but she was done and dusted in less than a morning. It was remarkably easy to look at the bill for Alana's new artificial leg (the insurance company insisted on sending me the itemised bill for all their procedures. Shut up and take the goddamn premiums, you soulless vultures) and any guilt just went away.
They sentenced my people to a lifetime of scars and suffering for answering a help wanted ad. They would get all the mercy from me that they deserved.
Such a shame about Fireball's cute little suburban bungalow. It's kind of scary how easy it is to sabotage a gas heating system. This is why you always hire a reputable technician to service your boiler, kids!
Blue Tornado was a tad trickier. I wanted it to be in his civilian identity, because he'd gone after my civilian identity, but I wanted it to relate to his powers. Finally, I settled on an air pressure hose breaking just as he was using it on his car, blowing up in his face and causing concussive damage. No civilians involved.
It all went off without a hitch. Boom, boom, boom.
########
The High Circle of Superheroes looked at the evidence. A crashed car, a burned house and a exploded tyre inflation station, all three putting one person in hospital, and no-one else. One person. A superhero. And to each, a bouquet had been sent, consisting of geraniums, foxglove, yellow carnations and orange lilies. The card had included a photo of an injured person, and the words "Galatians 6:7".
"Okay, we need to revise Boobytrap's threat level." Superior, the leader of the group, said.
#######
Geraniums mean "stupidity", foxglove means "insincerity", yellow carnations mean "you have disappointed me" and orange lilies mean "hatred"; this particular arrangement is colloquially known among florists as "the fuck you bouquet".
Galatians 6:7 : "Do not be decieved; God is not mocked, for what a man sows, that he shall reap."
WideConsequence2144 t1_iy66qhb wrote
Thank you for putting the explanation at the bottom. I was going to Google it after I finished reading and you save me the time
Taolan13 t1_iy6jp35 wrote
That "fuck you bouquet" probably wouldnt exist without social media.
I mean. It would, but that moniker? Its reputation?
I was there on the day that tumblr thread went wild. So many other wonderful bouquets with very special meanings if you can find the original thread, I have long since lost that bookmark.
I applaud your use of it, my dude.
Jialunes t1_iy7rc0d wrote
Thubanshee t1_iy7yeqy wrote
Thank you!!!
5-dig-dick t1_iy80li9 wrote
Vibin
Dominika_4PL t1_iy8ly50 wrote
I started reading the comments and then saw 'Septiplier' and almost choked on my apple
That was... Unexpected
Strixursus t1_iy7103r wrote
Seconded on wanting a link to that thread, I've not seen that particular one and flower language is interesting as fuck.
Thubanshee t1_iy7yhrk wrote
5-dig-dick t1_iy6psnl wrote
Link to thread?
Thubanshee t1_iy7ygj1 wrote
5-dig-dick t1_iy80m6f wrote
Thank ya
Angdrambor t1_iy8pa6l wrote
Social media has always been a thing though. In the 1800s, you'd have couriers delivering your txt msgs a dozen times a day. In those days you were judged on your penmanship rather than encyclopedic knowledge of unicode glyphs, but it was basically the same thing.
Before the internet, making up drama about the meanings of flowers was basically the only entertainment.
archtech88 t1_iy66rkm wrote
I LOVE this! And thank you for adding in the info about the meaning of the bouquet AND the verse in question! Together they give a lovely vibe of "you fucked around and found out". You are amazing.
This story as well! I love it! He's JUST ruthless enough to ruin them but not SO ruthless as to kill them. Tit for tat.
Also, I love that they only decided to up his threat level, not go after him and escalate things
Golde829 t1_iy79161 wrote
I will now consider the "fuck you bouquet" with Galatians 6:7 attached to be the "you fucked around and found out" bouquet
re_nonsequiturs t1_iy6n9lv wrote
That's actually a really pretty group of flowers
Winjin t1_iy8dwf9 wrote
That's Victorian Flower Language to you! (I guess)
Angdrambor t1_iy8qfdi wrote
That's what makes it great. Contrast between pretty flowers and an ugly message.
SamakSalmon t1_iy754h1 wrote
Well, I'm going to need to remember that flower arrangement. This is good.
painstream t1_iy8cct4 wrote
Can't detail why, but "But justice isn't fast." made me giddy.
And +1 for the Fuck You Bouquet. XD
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