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1

SentientBarghest t1_iv47qdj wrote

"Fine..." Steve sighed as he slumped onto the couch.

"Baby?" Becca's voice shook as she followed Steve's lead. "What...what's going on?"

"Your boyfriend's an alien." Agent Barkley growled as he tucked his sunglasses into his chest pocket and closed the door.

"What?!" Becca shrieked. "Steve, what the hell is he talking about."

"It's not true baby, I swear." Steve pleaded, placing a hand on Becca's thigh. "I'm actually the superhero, Captain Magnanimous."

"The asshole that always lets the villains go?"

"Buddy if you're gonna lie, at least do it well." Barkley chuckled as he shook his head.

"Fuck..."

"Tell her the truth, Steve."

"Fine!" Steve shouted towards Barkley. "Fine..."

He looked towards Becca, all emotion draining from his face.

"My real name..." the thing muttered monotonously. "Well you'd hear it as a string of 'demonic shrieks,' so I'm told."

"Just a fucking awful language.," Barkley mused.

"I was sent here as a member of a scouting party," the thing rolled its eyes as it continued. "My home planet is part of what you call the Earendel system."

"The...what..."

"Just another solar system," it said. "My species is exponentially older than yours. We've migrated to different planets, but we're always searching for new resources. As well as places that support carbon based lifeforms. Essentially I'm-"

"Oh for fucks sake," Barkley scoffed. "I meant the truth about why I'm here. Not your whole goddamn life story."

"Right," the thing nodded. "When my party entered the craft we-"

"Nope!" Barkley interrupted. "I got it from here."

He looked toward Becca, failing to hide his empathy.

"We first spotted ole Steve here when his ship passed Neptune. Scared the shit out of everyone at NASA. Fortunately for us, Steve was the navigator. And as I'm sure you know by now, Steve likes to drink."

"Y-yeah..." Becca stuttered. "It's been an issue."

"Been an issue for him for a while, trust me," Barkley noted. "In any event dumbass here actually clipped the moon during his descent."

"Steve" lowered his head.

"How do you even..." Becca wondered.

"No idea. Lots of room to maneuver," Barkley shrugged. "So, obviously they crash landed in Roswell in 1947. All of the crew died on impact, except for 'Steve' here. We guess that it was because he was drunk. He didn't brace for the impact like everyone else."

"You're the Roswell alien?!" Becca screamed as she twisted her head towards 'Steve.'

"Uhh..." Steve muttered. "I mean...yeah..."

"What the fuck?!"

"What the fuck indeed." Barkley nodded.

"How am I even pregnant?!" Becca howled. "He's a fucking alien...what about, like, DNA and all that."

"Well," Barkley continued. "Oddly enough 'Steve's' species is almost identical to us humans. So much so that we can interbreed. Think Ligers and Tigons and shit."

"Oh those are so cool! You're telling me I'm gonna birth the first human Liger?"

"Tigon...I think."

"Still great!"

"Yeah...not so much. You see, we kept ole 'Steve' here captive for about 70 years before we let him go out and live in the world. Had to be absolutely sure, you know. Lots of rigorous testing to make sure he wouldn't cause any trouble."

"I gave you!" the thing seethed. "All of your technology! Computers, the internet, even video games! And you tortured me in return!"

"Yeah, but we were supposed to be cool after all that, man." Barkley waved his hand. "And we only gave you one damn rule. No breeding!"

"What? Why" Becca asked.

"Because," gloom fell upon Barkley's eyes. "When we tested in vitro fertilization, we found that 'Steve's' species has a particularly horrifying way of birthing itself."

"Birthing itself?"

"Care to elaborate my alien friend."

"We...uhhh..." Steve mumbled. "Well once gestation is complete, we begin eating our way through the uterus, small intestine, muscles, and so on."

"Eating..." Becca whispered. "Which would mean..."

"You're dead by the end of it," Barkley frowned. "But, and I've always wanted to say this."

The agent reached out his hand.

"Come with me if you want to live."

"Yup, fuck all this," Becca grabbed Barkley's hand, pulled herself from the couch and sprinted out the front door.

"Well, 'Steve,' it's been fun." Barkley smiled. "And, I should tell you, the kill squad is just right outside. Bye."

40

hungry_at_2am t1_iv55db7 wrote

Steven was concerned for his girlfriend when she first told him about her grandfather’s notebooks. She was going on about nanobots, a “Magic Mirror”, and saving the world. Or was it dominating the world? She mentioned both.

“Wow, Viola, that’s a lot to take in” he said. “You’re telling me that your grandfather released a bunch of nanobots and now they live in everyone’s brains, and only your dad can control them?”

She laughed. “Kind of. Grandpa says that the nanobots only live in ‘ruling-class’ brains. He was always a little on the left, but I guess we are all angrier in our twenties. He also says that anyone with a certain sequence in their genome has the key to activating the nanobots, so of course he implanted that sequence in Dad. Doesn’t say exactly how to activate them, though, or what they do. Maybe some kind of mind control.”

Steven thought about the implications. Where do I even begin?

He distracted himself for a moment watching a newscast about some billionaire investor with a computer program that predicted stock prices with laser accuracy.

“Do you think you have the same sequence as your dad?” he asked. Viola shrugged.

“Only one way to find out. I think I need to find the Magic Mirror before I try. It says here that it shows you the future, so I’d like to use it to see what happens if I activate the nanobots. Maybe it can even show me how.”

The image of his girlfriend becoming clairvoyant and puppeteering the most influential people on the planet raised Steven’s eyebrows. It wasn’t the worst idea he’d ever heard, though. “Alright, love, but it sounds like there might be a lot of steps to this process. Do you want to start by finding this Magic Mirror?”

Viola clapped her hands together with a gleeful “Yes!”

7

hungry_at_2am t1_iv55gg4 wrote

Later that week, as Steven sat down in his home office to write an article for the local newspaper, he heard a knock at the door. Answering it, he stood face-to-face with two black-suited, shades-wearing men. One was white and the other black, yet Steven had a hard time telling them apart.

“Steven. May we come in?” one asked in a voice as smooth and powerful as a deepwater oil spill. Steven felt compelled to step aside, and when he did the men flowed in to occupy his living room couch.

“We have recently become aware of Viola’s… genetic condition. The woman poses a dire threat to national security.” The man offered no chance for a defense. “The United States government appreciates your cooperation in averting disaster.”

“I haven’t offered any cooperation.” Steven replied, confused.

“We think you’ll want to cooperate, Steven” the man soothed. “We’re doing you a favor by allowing you to keep your girlfriend at all. It would be a shame to take extreme measures to prevent Viola’s condition from spreading. We will ensure her genes do not continue to the next generation, one way or another.”

Steven held the men’s gaze, seeing only his reflection times four.

“Very well,” he acquiesced.

3

hungry_at_2am t1_iv55jyv wrote

When Viola returned home from her biomedicine class, she could see her boyfriend was feeling down, so she tried to cheer him up by talking about her progress on the Magic Mirror.

“I found an article about Vincent Vega, that new ultra-rich investor. His “computer program” sounds way too accurate to be anything but the Magic Mirror. I think he’s just not sure how to use it to its full effect.”

With a sigh, Steven saw where his girlfriend would end up if she probed too far in this direction.

“You know, love, maybe your grandfather was just crazy. He died back when nanotechnology was in its infancy, and these notebooks are supposedly from way before then. Maybe he wrote them when he was old as a way to entertain himself.”

Disappointment consumed Viola’s face. “Steve, this is Grandpa’s legacy. He was never crazy, he was a genius. You were so on board with this the other day, why don’t you want a part in it now?”

She waited, but Steven could give no answer. He hated himself as she slunk back to the bedroom.

He followed and tapped her on the shoulder. Tears in her eyes, she pushed him back, but he grabbed her wrist and pulled her to the doorway. “What do you want? Just let me be alone without your doubting face around” she cried.

Seeing her boyfriend look like a dog who found a kid in a well, she huffed and put on her shoes and jacket. The couple stepped out onto the road and walked in uncomfortable silence to the busiest road in the neighborhood.

“I’m so sorry to say those things about your grandfather” Steven apologized. “Today, some strange men came by. They might have bugged the house. I think they’re going to… hurt you.” The last words pained him to say.

The silence returned, now more fearful than uncomfortable. They finished their walk and returned to the house.

When they got back to the bedroom, Viola leaned in close, her breath warm on Steven’s ear.

“Listen here, Steve. We’re going to find that Magic Mirror and I’m going to activate the nanobots. Hell, I’ll figure out how to activate them even if we can’t find the stupid thing. But before then, we’re going to do all we can to make sure my genetic key makes it to the next generation.”

“Very well,” he acquiesced.

4

hungry_at_2am t1_iv55oa6 wrote

Months later, Viola burst into the room, a flurry of snow trailing from outside, and embraced her boyfriend, exclaiming “Steven, I’m pregnant!”

He jumped up, a finger pressed to his lips. After all these months of secrecy, feigning fights until finally Viola “accepted” that her grandfather was “crazy”, they were sunk in a moment of complacency. Viola turned white, mouthing the words oh no.

The couple rushed to pack their basic necessities, but there was no time. The knocks came, demanding and impatient, as Steven was frantically stuffing underwear into a grocery bag.

The same identical biracial men menaced on the doorstep. “Steven, Viola,” they greeted, icicles hanging off every syllable. “We tried to prevent this. Convinced our employers that you would not activate the nanobots, nor would you procreate. Clearly you cannot be trusted to keep your promises. Viola, you’re coming with us.”

She gasped as one of the men grasped her wrist and dragged her toward the sleek black luxury car waiting at the curb. Steven lingered in shock, but not for long.

“Like hell you’re taking her anywhere!” he roared, grabbing the shotgun Viola had insisted on hiding behind the door frame ever since her discovery. He rushed the men, knocking one over as he fumbled under his suit jacket for the pistol holstered there. The man was too slow.

“Drop it.” Steven commanded. Crossing his eyes to see the shotgun barrel an inch from his face, the man complied. Glancing back to his girlfriend, Steven saw the other man on his knees, hands in the air and a revolver poking the back of his head.

“Alright, here’s what you idiots are going to do.” Viola shouted, trying to conceal the shake in her voice. “Drop the guns. Get in the car. Then get back to your slimy boss and tell him the fun’s over. I’ve figured out how to activate the nanobots, Magic Mirror or no Magic Mirror.”

The men did as they were told and slunk back to the car. Steven didn’t lower the shotgun until he watched them slam the doors and speed away from the crazy, gun-wielding couple.

Viola turned to him. “They’ll be back soon, and these peashooters aren’t going to stop them again.”

“Did you actually find out how to activate the nanobots?”

“No”

Steven sighed. “I was afraid of that. Looks like it’s time to pay this Vincent Vega a visit.”

6