The fiery plane of Hell was especially quiet that night. The eternal screaming was not as deafening as usual, the demons were especially chirpy in their torturous ways.

A bright gleam of light suddenly appeared up above the sky of Pandemonium-- the capital city of Hell. An angelic being gracefully floated there. Her four feathery wings flapped gently, burning the damned around her in heavenly fire.

The angel grimaced seeing the scenery around her. The sulfuric smell, the endless screams, the eternal fire...she hated it, she really hated being there. But she was there on business, on a personal call by the big boss of Hell himself, and she'd never turned down a professional call, even one from her banished brother.

*Knock knock*

The massive black wooden door echoed as the angel firmly knocked it.

"Come in", a familiar voice welcomed her from the other side and the door opened by itself.

The angel stepped in. Walking confidently towards the big desk made of the same black wood. Opposite it sat the king of Hell himself, Lucifer, the fallen angel. Draped in black velvet suit, the Devil was as his usual charming getup, though his face was unusually unkempt.

"Lucifer, why did you call me?", the angel asked, not wasting any time.

Lucifer sighed. With a defeated look he stared down at the mountains of papers strewn about his desk before he averted his gaze up to meet his guest.

"Lailah, I need your help", Lucifer said with a meek voice.

The angel called Lailah raised her brow. With one hand on her hip, she leaned towards the desk, smirking and scoffing.

"You need...my help?", she chuckled. "We've never been close you and I, Luce. Even back when you were still in Heaven. In fact, you were a bit of a bully. And now, you called for me personally?", Lailah stated in disbelief herself.

"No, why did you actually call me, Luce?"

Lucifer waved his hand, gesturing Lailah to sit down as a story was about to come.

"I uh...have an issue regarding childbirths", Lucifer said cryptically. "And you as the angel of conception and pregnancy...I thought this would be your specialty"

"Wait, wait...you're having a kid?", Lailah asked, snapping forward.

"No, no, not me", Lucifer waved his hand. "It's a human. A human man whom I made a deal with years and years ago"

"Uh-huh", Lailah sat back, arms folded judgingly. She had never been a fan of Lucifer's dealing with mortals. "And I'm assuming he would give up his offspring in return of something?"

Lucifer sighed deeply. "Yep"

"Okay...so what's the problem? He changed his mind? He refused to give up his child?"

"No, he did. He did so willingly", Lucifer corrected.

"So you refused to fulfill the end of your bargain?", Lailah asked again.

"No, no, I did. I gave all that he asked"

"So what's the hassle then? He gave you his child and you gave him his deal, no problem here", Lailah shrugged.

"Well, here's the problem...he gave me his children. Plural", Lucifer said, grabbing a piece of paper in front of him.

"Thirty-two of them to be exact"

Lailah went quiet and she pursed her lips. "Uhm...what?"

"And if this report is correct...another twenty-three to be born in the next two years. He's a sperm donor...a very active and sought after at that"

Lailah's expression changed from a stoic disbelief one to a sudden outburst of laughter. The angel laughed and laughed uncontrollably, which much to Hell residents' dismay, an angelic laugh brought about pain to them who heard it.

"This isn't funny, Lailah! This wasn't a part of our bargain! This mortal is mocking me!", the prideful one lamented.

Lailah's laugh had evolved into a snorting and hiccupping one with tears streaming down her face.

"OH THIS...THIS IS PRECIOUS!", she roared. "I CAN'T WAIT TO TELL EVERYBODY IN HEAVEN!"

"Lailah, enough!", Lucifer slammed his fist onto his desk, breaking it in half. The papers flew all around the office room.

"What do you want me to do, big brother?', Lailah said, finally quelling her laughter as she wiped the tears off her face.

"Uhmp, I don't know. Cancel these pregnancies? You can do that, can you? Just...do your thing", Lucifer waved his hands about.

"Do my...thing?", Lailah chuckled. "Yea, I don't work like that, Luce. I'm not a flying abortion clinic"

"Why don't you just go down to Earth and, I don't know...do your thing?", Lailah clapped back mockingly. "Cancel the deal or something. Make a new deal with the guy?"

"No, I don't work like that! A deal made is to be honored! That is my way!", Lucifer protested.

"Well, I don't know what to do, Luce. Sounds like you have to keep giving the guy whatever he wants"

Lailah stood up and walked towards the door.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?", Lucifer called out her sister.

"Home. I can't help you, Luce", Lailah said. Stopping in front of the huge door, she turned one last time.

"Maybe, had you been nicer to me before you fell, I would've entertained the idea of helping you", Lailah smirked.

Exiting Hell's office, the angel spread her wings and ascended back to Heaven. Still giggling inside, seeing her fallen brother squirmed was the most exciting thing she'd experienced in a very long time.

As she exited Hell's outer layer, Lailah made a mental note to herself: when she's back home, she's going to track down every single pregnancy sired by the human...and make sure every single one of them came to term.

r/HangryWritey

The infernal phone rung on my obsidian desk. Sure, I could have a cell phone in any style I could imagine, but this antique style phone was a personal favorite. I smiled as I looked out the window of my office. Floor 216 was quite the spectacular view of Los Angeles, even if mortals cant normally access it.

"Good afternoon, Barry. I do hope your day is going affably." I stirred the tea that was placed on my desk by a succubus. I mouthed 'thank you' as she walked away.

"Oh? You haven't received the powers that we agreed upon? That is rather unfortunate. I'll have to look into it. Give me a call next week and I should have an answer for you."

I pulled the phone away from my ear as a stream of very irate profanities and demands exuded from the speaker. I put it down on the table and took some tentative sips from my tea to test its temperature. Once the shouting stopped, I returned it to my ear.

"Yes, I understand you're frustrated, but this is no way to conduct business. I do hope your future children do not share your temperment, for their sake." I listened for a second before cutting him off.

"Very well, since you insist I look into it now, give me one second." I snapped at my incubus personal assistant who handed me Barry's file. I browsed it while humming Baby Shark and other little earworms I had written in my spare time.

"Oh, I see the problem. Well isn't this a pickle. You see, I can appreciate a good hustle. I applaud you on your valiant attempt here, but I must say you really didn't think things through.

You see you and I made this agreement, in good faith, mind, that you would be granted boons for every child you sired. All well and good, some risk on my part from various aspects of the deal, but totally within acceptable parameters.

Now you failed to disclose the rather large number of donations to several sperm banks throughout your country. Those are null and void to the agreement as those are attributed to several aliases and internal identifiers which are removed from the name you signed the contract with. Birth certificates of any and all children sired by your donations will not have your name on them.

Furthermore, in the ensuing months since our agreement, you made other bargains, and I quote "I would give my left nut for a beer" you made a similar deal regarding your right testicle. Ownership and subsequent children would belong to those that satisfied the requirements of the deal, namely a bartender named Tabitha in Suffolk, and Jane, a waitress at a small diner in Toledo. Those body parts, no longer being your property, are also ineligible to sire children according to our deal. It was rather unfortunate dealmaking on your part."

More shouting ensued, and I enjoyed my tea as I let him tire himself out.

"Oh, what about the twins your wife gave birth to? I have videographic evidence that they are not yours. Again, rather unfortunate for your deal. So you see, I have fulfilled my end of the contract as it was written. I look forward to working with you upon the completion of your contract. See you soon."

The thing I love most about this phone? How it sounds when I place it back on the hook.

As the Devil, I had made many deals in my time. Some were for power, some for wealth, and some for personal gain. But the deal I made with the man who sold his children was one of the most unusual I had ever struck.

At first, I thought it was a simple bargain - he would give me the children he sired in exchange for a favor each time. But I quickly realized that this man was not like others. He was a sperm donor, and his ability to father children was beyond what I had anticipated.

As the years passed and the number of children he sold to me grew, I began to feel the weight of my own foolishness. I had not thought through the consequences of this deal, and now I was facing a situation that was spiraling out of control.

The children were everywhere, and they were starting to cause problems. They were demanding favors of their own, and their mothers were starting to ask questions. I can't stand mothers. Always nagging about their children. I knew I had to find a way to put an end to this madness before it was too late.

In the end, I decided to cut my losses and end the deal. At first, I tried to end the deal without asking for anything in return. I summoned the man to my domain and explained to him that I could no longer continue with our arrangement. He was disappointed, but he understood. He understood too well. The man was clever, and he saw an opportunity.

He asked for something in return, something of great value. He wanted the power to control the minds of others, and the ability to bend them to his will. Just imagining the echoes of those countless mothers, I had no choice. And knowing that I could not refuse, I agreed to his demands. The price was high, but I had no choice. I knew that if I didn't give the man what he wanted, he would make life even more difficult for me. This man's fertility knew no bounds. So I granted him his wish, and the deal was done.

But the man had not anticipated the full extent of his powers. He soon discovered that he could even control the minds of powerful beings, such as the Devil himself. And with this newfound ability, he turned against me.

I was caught off guard and powerless against his will. The man used his powers to bend me to his own desires, and I was forced to do his bidding. It was a humbling experience, and one that I would not soon forget. It started off small -- he used me to curse entire bloodlines, to amass riches, to enslave towns. But this usage grew more with every passing day.

Eventually, the entire world was bending to his whims. Immortality and invulnerability were early on his list of desires, so he feared no one in this realm. All of Earth began serving his every desire; and his desires were always selfish. With every yacht he had, he wanted a bigger one. He began building spaceships of immense sizes, using unimaginable quantities of fuel like a volcano eruption every minute. The greenhouse effect took the surface of the Earth into a scorching hellscape.

Logistics supply chains crumbled apart and all the skies glowed a violent hue of red. Volcanoes erupted from the increased pressure and temperature, covering much of the surface in molten fire and ash. The people screamed and their teeth gnashed.

He built a fortress, and all the people wanted to serve him to receive the luxuries of his way of life. He had lords serving him, and those lords had followers as well. He made promises and deals with them to further entrench their loyalty, beyond that of simple mind control. He discovered interdimensional travel from me, which allowed him to subtley influence other realms, just as I did to his. Eventually, he started making deals with them, wanting to gain other dimensions for himself.

By the time the "man" became aware of what was happening, he was much too far gone. My realm had already consumed the Earth, and my influence consumed him. I am the Devil, after all; my being spans across universes, and though I may appear physical, it is a mere projection; I am simply a force of reality beyond the confines of words or deals.

I am the primordial force of greed. Those who possess me, become me.

Once upon a time, I made a deal with a man named John. He had come to me, desperate for a solution to his financial problems. I offered him a way out: in exchange for a boon each time, he would sell every child he would ever sire to me.

At first, it seemed like a good deal for both of us. John received the financial help he needed, and I was able to add more souls to my collection. But as time went on, I realized that John was not the ordinary man I thought he was.

You see, John was a sperm donor. And as his popularity grew, so did the number of children he sired. Soon, I was overwhelmed with the influx of souls and didn't know what to do with them all.

As the situation spiraled out of control, I grew angry and resentful towards John. I had never intended for our deal to result in such chaos. But I didn't care about the children he had sold to me. As the Devil, it was my job to collect souls, no matter the means.

In the end, I came up with a plan. I would offer John a new deal: he could have back all of the children he had sold to me, on one condition. He had to agree to never father any more children again, for the rest of his life.

But to my surprise, John refused to take back his children. He said he no longer wanted them, and that he was content with the life he had built for himself without them.

I didn't care about John's decision. I was the Devil, and I would do what I wanted with the souls in my possession. So I kept the children, locking them away in my underworld where they would suffer for all eternity.

But that wasn't enough for me. I wanted to make John suffer as well, for his betrayal and his refusal to take back his own children. So I cursed him, condemning him to a life of misery and despair.

Every night, John would be visited by the ghosts of his children, who would haunt his dreams and torment him with their cries of anguish. He would never find peace, never be able to escape the guilt of what he had done.

In addition to the ghosts, I also cursed John with a never-ending thirst for alcohol. He would drink to numb the pain of his curse, but it would only make things worse. The more he drank, the more he would see his children's ghosts, and the more he would suffer.

As the years passed, John's life fell apart. He lost his job, his home, and everything he had worked for. And as he struggled to survive on the streets, he was constantly haunted by the knowledge of what he had done.

But the story doesn't end there. John's fate is still unknown, as he continues to suffer under my curse. Will he ever find redemption, or will he be doomed to live out the rest of his days in misery? Only time will tell.

(Generated by AI, revised by myself)

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[removed]

Lucifer looked from Hell upon the mistake he had cursed upon mankind. He had made bad deals before, but the one he made with Bob the Builder could be his undoing.

Bob never had a real girlfriend so this seemed to Satan as easy pickings. The devil would grant Bob a boon and Bob would give Satan a soul. But Bob was too seduced by power to waste precious moments courting the masses.

By becoming a sperm donor, he was granted so many various boons that no man could stop him. Resistant to radiation, bullets, electricity, and disease, Bob joined the Russians and singlehandedly defeated Ukraine. Putin, in awe of Bob's "divine" powers, gifted him the tsardom and Bob began to build a new Russia and, soon, the world.

The devil had a bet with God that Ukraine would win. Bob had crossed the line. How many more plans could Bob thwart? What if Bob turned his ambitions towards Hell, itself?

There was no other way. Bob the Builder had to be stopped.

It was in the valley of Armeggedon where Bob and Satan finally met again.

"You have went to far, Bob!" cried the devil. "All the souls you bore me I had to surrender to my nemesis because of your stupid and pointless antics! It ends now! Surrender your testicles!"

"They don't belong to you anymore, Satan! I have had a vision from the King of kings. I know of your bets and I will ruin them all! God will rescue as many souls as possible from your vile kingdom. If you give all Hell's souls to God now, I may just let you li..."

Bob tried to speak as his jaw locked to the excruciating pain in his groin. As his vision blurred, he looked down at the blood that tainted the earth around him. His face twisted in anger and agony as he looked upon the devil holding a small bloodied leather sack. Defeated, he raised his brow to heaven.

"Why have you forsaken me?"

"This was your fault, Bob." said Lucifer. "Do you think I would be so careless as to extend my boons to your manhood? Did you, puny mortal, really think you could play the Devil? Well, it doesn't matter now. Perhaps we can make another deal in the future?"

As the devil laughed, Bob slowly drifted out of consciousness. The world into which he would awake would be much different. He knew that. Though he had lost a part of himself, maybe there was still hope to find that special someone who could make him feel whole again.