Just because you are friends with someone of a certain race doesn’t mean you can have a free pass to also be racist towards that group

Can you rephrase this question?

There's many racist people who will justify being kind to some members of that minority group, saying "they're one of the good ones" while still holding prejudiced views against the group as a whole.

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Edit: Whoops, didn't realize this was in ELI5.

ELI5: Sometimes you lump people together by some common things that they share. You may think good or bad things about this group that changes how you treat them. Whether or not you're wrong, or even if you don't mean to, you may treat them this way anyway. That's okay - you're not perfect, and your friends aren't perfect, but you're still friends anyway.

Original:

To preface, I'm a 2nd generation Chinese American.

1. As u/mugenhunt mentioned, the "one of the good ones" mentality, based on profession, education, birthplace, mixture, etc. Heard someone say, "I have friends who are African American. But that one there, that's a N-", just based on how they dressed. My 1st generation Chinese parents also get treated differently than I do. I've had overtly racist friends; sometimes their positive qualities outweigh their blatant racism - enough to keep them around in some contexts, at least.

2. Subconscious racism/microaggressions. Among the people I've dated, I've noticed minor assumptions or actions based on my race. A little negative, but nothing intentional. Even from the anti-racism activist. Still loved them all the same.

Me: "Here, try this steamed bun." Them: "Huh, how does the rice flour rise like this?" Me: "It's wheat flour. North China is wheat-based, South China is rice-based."

3. Self racism. Sometimes we make racist comments amongst ourselves - we give ourselves a "free pass", but they're still harmful. Even I subconsciously get more concerned when an Asian coughs on a bus than when Caucasians do.

Friendship is a spectrum. Racism is a spectrum. They're correlated, but not mutually exclusive.

Racism is treating someone differently because of their race

If you have a friend of a specific race but still treat the rest of that race, differently, judgmentally or with prejudice still makes you a racist

The fact that you have a friend of X race does not fully tell how you treat other people from his race.
As a better example, a man can love and respect his mother r. However he can have a misogynist behaviour towards all other woman around him. He cannot justify that he is not a misogynist just because he treats his mother with respect.
Also, “friendship “ can have many meanings, levels or reasons. An office friend is not the same as a life long friend in general. You can be a friend of a single person of X race for a specific reason, or even just because you got used to his presence. But it might not be a “full” friendship from your heart. He could be more like a colleague for example. Or you think you are his friend because you treat him nice and help him, but you could be seeing him with a sense of superiority (you think you are better than him, so try to help him with some pity), and this could be because of race.
It could be even unconscious.

I might not be explaining much. But hope i give you some examples of why having a friend from X race is not a logical proof to say you are not racist.