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Glass-Teeth t1_iuk70l9 wrote

It's not sexism, it's just being toxic and taking advantage of any personal traits you may have. If they discover your ethnicity, sexuality, age, employment, education, hobbies, relationships, family, disabilities, appearance, political stance, etc they will torment you constantly for it. The only time they will hold back on certain topics is if they share the same quality as you, as to not insult themselves in the backfire.

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More_BRAAAINS t1_iujzicb wrote

Probably because some of them have never had a girlfriend and to them you are an Alien Race.

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xypher2332 t1_iuk0ipj wrote

if thats the only insults youve heard in a match your one of the lucky ones. short answer competitiveness breeds toxicity

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KarinaxVi OP t1_iuk29od wrote

but even when they play bad they say sexist stuff. It’s crazy.

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Zero_fg_5575 t1_iuk6hr7 wrote

It’s the internet, deal with it just like the rest of us

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Quiggling t1_iukb8t0 wrote

We are going to deal with it and call attention to it and point outs it’s wrong and dumb, at the exact same time.

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Herpalism123 t1_iuk02eu wrote

Young boys are insanely insecure, especially around girls. They try to hide this by acting/talking "tough" whenever a female appears in order to hide their insecurity from their peers. Want proof? Talk to them 1:1, they'll sound completely different.

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KarinaxVi OP t1_iuk253u wrote

that’s actually interesting. Like they are so nervous and scared that they start to act macho.

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KidsAreIrresponsible t1_iujzzwk wrote

It's because they want to talk to you but don't know how, which makes them feel small, so in efforts of saving their ego they'll try to make you feel small.

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[deleted] t1_iuk0gxw wrote

Lots of reasons.
I don't play co-op games for many reasons. Guys are as bad with each other than they are with women.

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creegro t1_iuk83pq wrote

I primarily play coop games and it can get bad. But I try and stay on games that have a mute feature so I don't have to listen to the various random people spew into the microphone.

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RnkG1 t1_iuk1wk1 wrote

It’s immaturity.

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Omniouz t1_iuka1sx wrote

You should probably just ignore children. Not worth getting upset over.

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Cjmate22 t1_iuk0aow wrote

Why are you so presumptuous about males and video gaming?

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KarinaxVi OP t1_iuk2luv wrote

becausei have been gaming for 2 years now. And it is always men/boys saying these kind of stuff. They like to tell a woman to go to kitchen and show dominance.But in a freaking game is so crazy imo. It is a game. it is not a bias if u get it everyday u play games.

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Cjmate22 t1_iuk2s6k wrote

Listen, I’m a homosexual, I’ve never hidden that fact ever. I get shit talk from men and women both online and in person. This shit isn’t new, it’s depressingly human.

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viewfromhere27 t1_iuka7ia wrote

You can hide your homosexuality much easier.

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Cjmate22 t1_iukau2s wrote

You could also hide being a women??? I mean text chat exists and fuck the mute button is right there. My whole point is I get flak for something I can’t change as well, so it’s neither a gaming or male thing.

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Wenuven t1_iuk0n54 wrote

My thoughts exactly. Coming in with a bias doesn't bode well for leaving with insight.

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Cjmate22 t1_iuk0tr5 wrote

I just don’t get why people lump all people of one group together after having a bad experience with some.

0

Cautious-Whereas-467 t1_iujzkry wrote

Thirty something male here. I'd like to know as well. Girls are pretty rare in gaming afaik

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Crimsonclaw111 t1_iujzswx wrote

They're actually pretty common, but they don't want to talk unless they're in a private party or something because tons of guys online jump straight to harassment.

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KarinaxVi OP t1_iuk2dvr wrote

i want to talk but the guys are so toxic and sexist

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Cautious-Whereas-467 t1_iuk5ywp wrote

I can help you with that. I've experienced table top rpg tables with either one or zero girls. Not a lot of sexism, but you've heard the horror stories, right?

Currently watching a video about toxicity in gaming, casually. Idk if I can post it

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willfiredog t1_iuk7iq2 wrote

They’re shit talking you. They probably shit talking everyone. Male and female.

Think of a few witty comebacks, toss it back at them, and move on.

Or not. Whatever. There are no girls on the internet. i.e. people are going to say impolite things that they would never say in public as if you were a dude. Personally, It’s as meaningless a thing as I can imagine.

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Gastric__bypass t1_iuka36x wrote

I’m usually all for calling gamers sexist and racist but this is just you thinking you’re special. They always target something that’s immediately noticeable about you. I have a slight lisp, so they insult my lisp. I don’t have any problem with it though, I find it funny listening to people trash talk.

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Pizzicato_DCS t1_iukb28z wrote

It's worth noting that these are the exact same people that self-identify as "incels" and can't understand why women don't want to be with them.

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N7_RENEDAVE t1_iujzdut wrote

Mostly general humor or just idiots. Gotta learn to let it roll off your shoulders

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Rielhawk t1_iuk0v2i wrote

Oi, I do that too and I'm female. It's called humour ;D

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KarinaxVi OP t1_iuk10ha wrote

“humor” is actually no manners and no respect.

0

Rielhawk t1_iuk3aie wrote

What else are you expecting? That we all address you as M'lady?

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Few_Supermarket_4450 t1_iuka9yr wrote

Seriously you know the crap guys tell each other lol. Get in the kitchen is a softball.

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Dawid_7899 t1_iuk6fhn wrote

I'll boil it down to this:

Their own insecurities

Trying to meme with their friends

We also often forget that the people we play video games with are also people, not just more NPCs, so they might not even realise they are actually hurting you. I do my best to treat everyone with respect and kindness, but I've probably said something along similar lines in the past.

Think of it like when you're driving, the other cars are merely road NPCs to us usually, but all of us are people, with our lives to get on with. But we don't think that while we are on the roads.

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egoMetalMonkey t1_iuk7y77 wrote

I feel for girls or women who want to game with randoms. The short answer is there's no logical reason for doing this but I know it happens. All I can suggest is that you find a good Discord/subReddit/etc. where you can meet people and set up game sessions

This sucks and is the worst part of gaming

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platypusjeff t1_iuk83ib wrote

It's banter. If they really were against women in games they'd just kick you or leave.

You should hear the shit we say to each other.

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4thIdealWalker t1_iuk9jmm wrote

Trolling doesn't equal any kind of "ists"

When MW19 first came out, a group of 5 had "Jew" in their clantag. Instantly me and my friend went in on Jew jokes and those 5 guys joked back. And for the next 3 hours all 7 of us had a kick ass time, got to know each other etc.

Did we give a shit about the others in the lobbies who thought my friend and I were "anti Semitic"? No

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GH0STMELON t1_iuk9r1r wrote

as a guy I think it’s really stupid and it pisses me off cuz I have friends on Xbox that are girls

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KarinaxVi OP t1_iuka907 wrote

ikr. in game i dont hear them saying those kind of stuff to male players

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GH0STMELON t1_iukapgk wrote

at the end of the day it’s just a game people need to chill

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TheVolcanado t1_iuk1hwx wrote

One of four reasons. 1) they're an incel. Women won't give them the time of day so they form resentment. 2) they were at some point completely crushed by a girl/woman emotionally and rather than deal with it and admit they even have emotion they make it her fault (justly or unjustly) and form a misogynistic view that all women are the same and they're projecting their hurt and hatred on parties completely uninvolved. 3) they come up short. In one or more ways and are compensating.4) to seem macho in front of their friends (even "grown" men will do this)

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Just_an_Empath t1_iuk33ra wrote

They act like that in front of other guys to hide their thirst.

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ALittleArmoredOne t1_iuk3bhi wrote

90% of this is boys whose voices have dropped and sound 'older' but are actually in middle school. People do and say a lot of stupid things at that age for a lot of reasons.

I doubt very many 45 year old men are behaving like this.

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zappingbluelight t1_iuk3ij7 wrote

Ouch I hope you don't generalize every male as them. They are toxic, but I also know a bunch of non toxic one that at most just call you dogwater(given they do that to guys as well).

I'm pretty sure I'm not the only male that find them cringy, but they exist, so best you can do is ignore them.

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InstructionLeading64 t1_iuk67sl wrote

Lol, this is a pretty dogshit reply to somebody being harassed. It's not about you pal.

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zappingbluelight t1_iuk73kd wrote

It's not about me yes, I'm just saying I hope op doesn't put every male out there as sexist, cuz there are a lot of people that are generally nice, so I hope she just don't go massive hate spree on every male. Never have I make it about me.

I also try to give op an solution, to just ignore the comments, and plays. I am sorry if the comment appear not the way it is intended.

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InstructionLeading64 t1_iuk7g0p wrote

It definitely doesn't read like you think it does if you were trying to be positive. As a matter of fact it sounds like you are making excuses for people being assholes which to be clear also makes you sound like an asshole.

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Error1x1 t1_iuk69nj wrote

No gamers aren't sexist, they are just assholes to each other in general, just don't play with kids or just play single player games.

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Totemlyrad t1_iuk916y wrote

Play Deep Rock Galactic. Low toxicity players.

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-Zambambo- t1_iuk9x5j wrote

Give them shit back lol

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anevilsnail22 t1_iukbjil wrote

It's kind of a pecking order thing. If you're playing a game in a competitive environment then that typically attracts the kind of person who wants to be at the top, obviously. If they can use your gender to establish themselves as above you, then they will. The reality of what they say doesn't matter. What matters is that they can use their words to control your emotions in some way, and so they see that as making them above you. It's more about that than it is any genuine ideological views, although there can be some of that as well.

Overwatch 2 launched recently and typically I play around diamond, but, for whatever reason, I got placed silver. I'm not saying you're dumb if you're low in rank, not at all, but there are a lot of dumb people at low ranks and it makes this kind of thing I'm talking about obvious. I've climbed back out toward plat, but my time there was eye-opening. Many, many times people would just disagree with my calls just for the sake of disagreeing with me. I wasn't angry about it, but I would say maybe we need to do this or that, and frequently douchebag dudes would disagree just to be contrarian because they don't like the idea that anyone is even voicing an opinion that they didn't come up with.

I had someone argue with me for an entire game about how Pharah's ult was good, seemingly going back and forth confusing what exactly was being argued, thinking at times I was arguing against our specific Pharah, calling them bad, and at other times seemingly understanding it was about the ult in general. They were completely unable to understand that a Pharah getting two kills is anecdotal and doesn't mean more broadly that it's a good ult. It's just classic disordered thinking, and they were getting so angry. You'll get a lot of people who will put that kind of frustration on you in whatever way they can. It's the internet version of a drunk dude punching a hole in the wall.

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jlopez092 t1_iuk8fg8 wrote

If you can't stand the heat, get back in the kitchen.

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winterman666 t1_iuk0s6p wrote

Which games are you even playing, free to play garbo?

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Lon72 t1_iuk0u1s wrote

It's endemic from the kid gamer to AAA software publishers . Its also very , very sad . These people feel safe in the relative anonymity of gaming but I'll bet that they would never say it to someone's face . It's a terrible shame that such a beautiful media like gaming brings out the worst in people.

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KarinaxVi OP t1_iuk14y9 wrote

exactly! like they forget about manners and respect.

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Junkered t1_iuk14mn wrote

Well, neckbeards are going to neckbeard.

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mad_le_zisell t1_iuk193i wrote

Not all. 40 years old male here and one of my ancient gaming friend is a girl, who's been hell of a fun to play with. Most "men" doesn't care which sex you are, it's the "boys" problem. It tends to disappear with age, and if it isn't call the shrink.

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Deep9one t1_iuk7f6x wrote

Incel culture.

They find it funny cus they bully women in their lives and that's why they are sad lonely losers.

Hurr durr guys i told this chick to make me a sandwich, hurr im so funny. yeah no.

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SamForeverFluffy t1_iuk8jad wrote

Awww, I'm sure your experience must have been AWFUL 😂

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SWAVcast t1_iuk16vs wrote

Probably cause they have oblivious or shitty parents.

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seven_light_years t1_iuk4rci wrote

Men/boys get real "brave" when they can hide behind a screen or microphone

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Randomname_76 t1_iuk4tmu wrote

Well most younger teenage boys are very insecure about themselves, especially ones that play team shooter games or things like that, since learning your social skills on fps games is pretty brain washing, and they don’t know how to talk to women at all.

They think a girl will like them more if they act tough and tell them to go to the kitchen then treat them like a normal person? Yea I don’t get it either. They don’t know any better because noone wants to talk to them, and I don’t blame them.

If anything, teenage boys who play fps games all day, in real life are the complete opposite of masculine and confident

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Daftmidge t1_iuk0ks4 wrote

The thing about men/boys is they are inherently immature and insecure. Not all of them but definitely every single one shouting that stuff at you.

The trick in life is to laugh at them (they hate that) and if you feel anything for them or because of their behaviour consider sympathy, what else can you honestly feel towards the pathetic when you think about it?

Enjoy your games and don't worry about the dicks let them worry about theirs cos they probably do lol

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KarinaxVi OP t1_iuk39nw wrote

thank you. im really trying to enjoy but it is hard sometimes

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Ralle4 t1_iuk1icf wrote

If you love reality then why game? If love nature then why sit inside and play? A lot of people game because they hate themselves and everything else, so naturally they won't be kind to you nor anyone else.

Simple as that, and the only way to avoid it is to find friends or sum like that.

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Cjmate22 t1_iuk1zxx wrote

What a basic view on the concept of video games.

0

Ralle4 t1_iuk9r9o wrote

Yeah, a lot of people simply play because they want to escape from life, and many of those people are sad, depressed, distraught and angry. So most of these people can't think straight, added onto their mental state, they're going to be aggressive and negative towards others.

There's no fix to this problem, you can discuss it all you want, but you'll never arrive at a solution you're truly content with. All you can do is either ignore it, circumvent it or try and foolishly solve it.

There's been countless articles, tweets, Reddit posts and etc, discussing the negativity in video games... But to what end? What's your damn goal? Do you want a solution or do you want to just endlessly complain? Is there even a solution? I bet not, so why are we even here?

All I see in this thread is "they're just pathetic incels that's never talked to a girl before" ...okay? How are you any better when you say shit like this? Just stop.

But I guess for as long as video games exist, this topic will never cease.

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Cjmate22 t1_iukantp wrote

So, playing video games means your depressed? I’ll give you a couple of reasons that are a lot more likely: The game has an interesting story, The gameplay is very fun, They could make money, They have time to waste, They are a game tester/dev.

While I’m not saying your wrong, I’m saying your being too generalistic. I mean, depressed people drink water, is drinking water a sign of being depressed? As well those “he’s just an incel” quotes are likely from people who haven’t had a 5 minute conversation with men because they had a bad experience with one and type cast everyone as it. Ironically an issue OP was taking about.

1

[deleted] t1_iuk566k wrote

[deleted]

−5

KarinaxVi OP t1_iuk7vmu wrote

They have the guts to say it. To say racist slurs and sexist stuff. To say they are 100% innocent irl and not racist/sexist is crazy to me. it’s like saying someone is not criminal eventhough he/she commited the crime

0

Indra_a_goblin t1_iuk0gdh wrote

Because a lot of people in online spaces are absolute assholes, racists, sexists, lgbtg-phobic, and probably hates every other minority as well, or even if they aren't really that they act it to gain acceptance from their peers, it's a big problem but nobody wants to do anything about it because it'd likely involve seriously looking at your own behaviour or that of your friend groups as potentially problematic.

Edit: I see some folk down vote this and similar replies that calls this a problem, it fucking is a problem, if a community is actively hostile towards you being there then that doesn't bode well for you staying very long, doesn't matter if its intended as a joke or some bs it's still just straight up harassment in the end, if you want to see the extreme of it just look at fucking gamer gate (which is still going on to some extent under different names) that was born from that mentality.

Grow the fuck up crybabies

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Cjmate22 t1_iuk2yrk wrote

How ironically condescending

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Indra_a_goblin t1_iuk6uu7 wrote

I honestly don't care if I seem condescending to assholes or dicks who defend them.

−1

Cjmate22 t1_iuk7827 wrote

You don’t seem condescending to the asshole community, you seem condescending to anyone who uses the internet.

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KarinaxVi OP t1_iuk31uf wrote

The gamer community is really getting out of hand with all the toxicity and things they say. irl they do not even have the balls to say these kind of stuff.

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SMACCYD_Youtuber t1_iuk0umm wrote

Honestly 9/10 it is a joke.

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KarinaxVi OP t1_iuk12xs wrote

but they get angry when I would say they have a small dick?

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SMACCYD_Youtuber t1_iuk1pv2 wrote

I'm a chill gamer but I think picking on a guy's insecurity is taking things to the next level.

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KarinaxVi OP t1_iuk2oxg wrote

but how about them telling girls to go to the kitchen?

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SMACCYD_Youtuber t1_iuk58kk wrote

It's not quite the same as saying your vagina Is massive...

Maybe cave man jokes are the equivalent...

Like dudes will diss each others mums and it's just seen as banter, so you're getting off pretty lightly with kitchen jokes.

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KarinaxVi OP t1_iuk75y7 wrote

if someone would say my vagina is wide i wouldnt feel insecure tbh. I would be thinking how do you know? Are men really that insecure that they feel hurt by a comment as “small dick” from a stranger?

2

SMACCYD_Youtuber t1_iuk8ivn wrote

Not all men I would hold the same view as you, I would think "How do you know?"..

But younger boys will be embarrassed that a girl has said that to him in front of his friends.

He might not be insecure about his D Size but he would almost certainly be insecure about his role in the group and in life, if he was angered by that....

0

KarinaxVi OP t1_iuk8xkm wrote

Well why do i have to keep their insecurity in mind and watch what i say when they say sexist stuff without thinking?

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SMACCYD_Youtuber t1_iuk9o9g wrote

Is it sexist?

It was once the woman's role in a relationship...

I don't understand why it's sexist, I mean raising kids, Keeping a house, Cooking dinners, isn't easy work.

If you're genuinely p'd off I say break them down systematically with your intelligence instead of stooping to that level...

& If you don't like it you can always walk away..

1

Erivinder t1_iukagf4 wrote

Aaaand here it is folks, where he exposes himself as considering guys insecurities to be more important than women's insecurities

0

Helplessadvice t1_iuk1k5h wrote

Idk shit just be funny man guys playing the game throw all type of shade towards everybody not just woman. I’ve caught so many n words due to my PSN name back on ps3 and I’ve just sent the same shade back. Basically people talk shit and those insults aimed at girls are just brainless quick response. You’d get the same animosity throw at you if you were a guy

Gaming just wouldn’t be the same without the toxicity

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Peace_Is_Coming t1_iujzfs2 wrote

Pathetic young boys. The incel crowd comes from gamers more than anything I believe. It's disgusting.

Gamer girls are awesome. My wife is one :)

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