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posting_drunk_naked t1_ixm23xb wrote

Listen, I'm an idiot who doesn't know what he's talking about, but I feel like I could punt a turkey pretty far if it ever threatened me in any way. If there's more than one, I'll Riverdance those bitches! I weigh 10x more than them, I feel like I'm gonna win.

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BradMarchandsNose t1_ixme4nv wrote

They can fly and have 2 inch long spurs on the backs of their legs that they can poke you with. I’m not saying you’re not gonna win the fight, but they can definitely hurt you

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TheGrandExquisitor t1_ixn7xgz wrote

Dude....it literally has hollow bones. Just hit it as hard as possible and don't stop. Mammal for the win every time.

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tahitidreams t1_ixo88mb wrote

Hahaha you’ve never met a turkey. They are bigger than you think. And have a brain the size of a peanut. In that peanut? Survival. That’s it. It would wreck you and then attack your car. They are both the smartest animal or the dumbest animal. We hunt them. They are frustrating to hunt.

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BigBeard77 t1_ixoak2s wrote

"in that peanut? Survival."

I lost it. Thank you

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fendent t1_ixmxuyy wrote

I mean I’d probably win a fight if I felt like my life was in danger but I don’t make it a habit to go murdering fowl that decide to get froggy with me.

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slip63 t1_ixo7c7i wrote

I was driving when a turkey ran into me. It clipped the right front. My car had a dent. The turkey looked at me like I was an asshole, shook itself and ran off.

Yeah, you're not going to win the potential punting. You may be able to get the kick in, but dude is coming back for you and you might want to run.

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NetherWhirled t1_ixmoxzy wrote

Right? I figure grab the closest one by the neck and swing it around to smack the others. You’ll be a scary bedtime story that turkey parents tell their children for generations.

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TheLyz t1_ixnz4do wrote

Grab it around the wings so they can't fight and walk around with them a bit to humiliate them. Works for roosters.

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