Comments
InitialFoot t1_ixm137h wrote
That is absolutely gold! LOL
RedditSkippy t1_ixm39c1 wrote
Legendary Reddit post.
seriousnotshirley t1_ixlyxz8 wrote
Also, I have a smoker. Let’s BBQ Kevin!
tom_echo t1_ixm2c0c wrote
Im surprised he survived bow hunting season. I’ve heard there’s a surprising amount of turkey hunting in urban areas of MA. Walking through a park yesterday in my suburban town I was surprised to see a sign that said hunting permitted within season.
posting_drunk_naked t1_ixm23xb wrote
Listen, I'm an idiot who doesn't know what he's talking about, but I feel like I could punt a turkey pretty far if it ever threatened me in any way. If there's more than one, I'll Riverdance those bitches! I weigh 10x more than them, I feel like I'm gonna win.
BradMarchandsNose t1_ixme4nv wrote
They can fly and have 2 inch long spurs on the backs of their legs that they can poke you with. I’m not saying you’re not gonna win the fight, but they can definitely hurt you
TheGrandExquisitor t1_ixn7xgz wrote
Dude....it literally has hollow bones. Just hit it as hard as possible and don't stop. Mammal for the win every time.
[deleted] t1_ixmhl2l wrote
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tahitidreams t1_ixo88mb wrote
Hahaha you’ve never met a turkey. They are bigger than you think. And have a brain the size of a peanut. In that peanut? Survival. That’s it. It would wreck you and then attack your car. They are both the smartest animal or the dumbest animal. We hunt them. They are frustrating to hunt.
BigBeard77 t1_ixoak2s wrote
"in that peanut? Survival."
I lost it. Thank you
fendent t1_ixmxuyy wrote
I mean I’d probably win a fight if I felt like my life was in danger but I don’t make it a habit to go murdering fowl that decide to get froggy with me.
slip63 t1_ixo7c7i wrote
I was driving when a turkey ran into me. It clipped the right front. My car had a dent. The turkey looked at me like I was an asshole, shook itself and ran off.
Yeah, you're not going to win the potential punting. You may be able to get the kick in, but dude is coming back for you and you might want to run.
NetherWhirled t1_ixmoxzy wrote
Right? I figure grab the closest one by the neck and swing it around to smack the others. You’ll be a scary bedtime story that turkey parents tell their children for generations.
TheLyz t1_ixnz4do wrote
Grab it around the wings so they can't fight and walk around with them a bit to humiliate them. Works for roosters.
seadev32 t1_ixm8qce wrote
This article is hilarious
MOGicantbewitty t1_ixme93x wrote
I’m forwarding it to everyone to say happy thanksgiving!
omnipresent_sailfish t1_ixm1p0q wrote
Fuckin’ Kevin
[deleted] t1_ixmepgj wrote
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TheMHC t1_ixm3cer wrote
Kevin, amping things up ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5v_mTq5h6zI&t=44s )
notmyrealname17 t1_ixo39dc wrote
"they're really, really pissed off"
Roadkill_Shitbull t1_ixmclup wrote
Bold move for a turkey today. We’ll have to see how it pans out. 🦃🍗
pgc60001 t1_ixn7dhv wrote
They’re all over Swampscott. I give kudos to the towns attitude towards them. They’re mostly tolerated (though one horrible woman did in fact run one over on purpose). It’s nice to see the community embrace the “co-exist with wildlife” approach and not the “it’s an inconvenience let’s kill it” strategy
We don’t have a Kevin but one did attack my brothers car lol
Cabes86 t1_ixo8ulz wrote
The worst gang in h block are the turkeys now
thegoat1000 t1_ixos3jb wrote
City turkeys are on an whole different level
[deleted] t1_ixmvev9 wrote
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[deleted] t1_ixo0qzu wrote
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seriousnotshirley t1_ixlymss wrote
So this is what happened to Kevin.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/219w2o/whos_the_dumbest_person_youve_ever_met/cgbhkwp/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3