Ok_Sorbet9577 t1_j64h8y5 wrote on January 27, 2023 at 5:27 PM

Reply to comment by Forgotten_Obsession in Parents of kids turning 13: did you lose access to your kid’s medical records or cut off from their patient portal? by Lagomorph-dreams

My pediatrician office said my son can’t give permission at all to access his records. The only thing I can see is billing. They said my son wasn’t allowed to give his permission for me to access his care. I just don’t think 12 year old is old enough to make all medical decisions.

Forgotten_Obsession t1_j64wvwm wrote on January 27, 2023 at 7:04 PM

You not being able to access notes from previous appointments and a 12 year old making all medical decisions are two completely different things. Are you the one taking your child to the appointments? Are you allowed in the exam room? Are you speaking to his Dr about concerns? Are you speaking to your child about their concerns and if they are comfortable with a recommended treatment plan? Then you are involved in the medical decisions. Whether you feel you should have the final say or not, your child should always be a big part of the conversation. Personally, I believe my child, even at 12, was entitled to the final say over what happened to his body. If you feel differently, that's between you and your family.

I am not here to debate bodily autonomy or right to privacy with you. I saw from your other comments you have some strong feelings about that. What I will say, is I have worked hard to create a relationship with my children where they feel comfortable coming to me with anything. BUT, if there were ever a situation in their life that required them to seek medical care and, for whatever reason, they did not want me to know about it; I prefer they get the care they needed, and I never know, rather than them not seek treatment over fears of my finding out before they were ready to share.

LadyGreyIcedTea t1_j6785ct wrote on January 28, 2023 at 5:14 AM

Him having privacy rights for certain things doesn't mean he's "old enough to make all medical decisions." If he needs surgery you or his other parent will still need to consent. There are certain things specifically (like sexual health, mental health and substance use treatment) that adolescents are able to access without their parents' knowledge/consent.

Ok_Sorbet9577 t1_j67nkj5 wrote on January 28, 2023 at 8:21 AM

Yes I understand this. I’m telling you what my office told me and my son. No access to any information in his chart except billing. I can’t have access to labs or anything in his chart except for me to pay his bills. So in this instance my office is telling me my son makes his own medical decisions. That is exactly what I was told so perhaps their receptionist is giving the wrong information. Anyways we switched to a family practice and don’t need to deal with that issue since they don’t do that.